Ten Albums/Artists You Would Take To A Desert Island... And Leave There

[duncvis]

We really, really don't have enough music threads. 

There's a 'The Ten Albums You Would Take To A Desert Island' thread on one of my last.fm groups at the moment, and I thought this twist might lead to some amusing flaming from people defending their shit taste in music from each other. If you don't know the names of albums, shit 'artists' will do.

I'll start:

absolutely fucking everything by Queen. nuff said - the world will be a better place for it.

Creed. In general.

Paul McCartney. Why didn't he get shot as well?

The Black Eyed Peas - for making my ears bleed, in the bad sense.

Radiohead - purely for being the most overrated band in the history of rock, ever.

Fall Out Boy - for being utterly ghey. Emo sucks.

Panic! At The Disco - for being Fall Out Boy, but even gheyer and more pretentious.

That cunting Crazy Frog album - bury it. bury it deep.

Ronan Keating - for being a soppy knob end with a cupboard full of grannies' knickers.

James 'Cunt' Blunt - for THAT song. And all his others. And being a complete fucking cumstain. HATE HATE HATE

[Lurk Hurk Gurk]

Nearly all pop, all rap and hip-hop ever made, and the techno and trance that has cheesy, slimy lyrics that is so highly prevalent. Good electronic music has no lyrics, though the occasional use of the human voice as a sound effect, as long as it is done in a non-cheesy, non-annoying way (sadly seldom happens) is acceptable.

[Lucifer]

1.  Andrew Loud Wanker - cos he's rubbish. 

2.  that bint out of T'Pau, Carol Dreck... Deck Her... no, Decker:  i'd rather listen to a fingernail down a blackboard.

3.  more or less anything called R&B these days, if it isn't John Lee Hooker etc.  (The Stones would do at a pinch, but not this over-produced pap).

4.  Mozart.  predictable diddly diddly music, highly over rated, and he was a cunt.

5.  all the norah jones/katie melua/that dead bird (oh yeah, eva cassidy) clones, cos they're aural wallpaper.  (the horror of typing all this has made my ability to use upper case letters desert me again).

6.  all those "holiday" songs - the tomato sauce twats; the macerena; "Saturday Night"; and that god-awful one from years back, which i always thought was recorded as a charity record by people with severe learning difficulties - "Live is Life".

7.  anything by footballers.  ever.  including national stuff.  and especially world cup stuff.  possibly sportspeople in general.

8.  soppy love shite:  "Hello" by lionel retchy; "i Just Called To Say... FUCK OFF!" (not really, but it should be) by stevie wonder-why-the-fuck-he-thought-that-was-a-good-idea; "The Lady In Red" by chris de bleurgh; etc., etc.  nuke the fuckers.

9.  Abba.  i don't need a reason.  oh, all right then - because they're Abba.

10. pretentious arty farty jazz/noisenik stuff, cos people only pretend to like it to be cool, even though the crap actually makes their earwax boil.

i have to stop now?  pants - i was just getting into my stride, too...   

[Lucifer]

oh, and because i love you all so much, here's the vid of live is life.  it's atrocious, be warned.  so much so, that i actually agree with clare gorgan for once, instead of wanting to push her off a cliff.

and i STILL think it must have been some sort of work experience for a bunch of residents...

[duncvis]

oh, and because i love you all so much, here's the vid of live is life.  it's atrocious, be warned.  so much so, that i actually agree with clare gorgan for once, instead of wanting to push her off a cliff.

and i STILL think it must have been some sort of work experience for a bunch of residents...

I'm not watching it, cos its still embossed on my brain as it is. that has to be a contender for worst thing to chart ever, along with the crazy frog and billy ray cyrus.

[Lucifer]

billy ray cuntrus!  i'd forgotten him.  fuck you very much for reminding me of that vom-inducing shite.

so, dunc, are the live is life mob a bunch of "nutjob spazzes", in peaguy's vernacular?

'ere pea - what d'you reckon to them, cos you were mercifully too young to remember them, i should think.

oh, but dunc, i do believe there's one particular autist... *cough* i mean artist we'd BOTH like to see incarcerated somewhere a long, long way away, eh? 

* Lucifer coughs *cuntreth*.

dear me: nasty tickle in my throat there.

[duncvis]

I dunno... his poetry deserves a wider audience (marketed as humour, obviously) 

[Nomaken]

Shit, i don't know any albums or artists.  I just know songs.  I can't be bothered to learn the names of the jackasses who made these songs.  Muchless all of their other songs which are probably crap.

[thepeaguy]

Oasis - Produces some of the most shite, bland, unmelodic, unexciting and overrated rock music ever made. All they got to show for themselves is their cliched rants on today's pop industry and their antics from the British tabloids.

The Beatles - Maybe they are one of the progenitors of Black Sabbath and the like, but that doesn't mean that just because Ozzy Osbourne grew up with them I'm supposed to like them. Again, cheesy crap music that only appeals to the lovestruck 50-year-old teenagers () to make a quick buck.

U2 - "I can feeeeeelllll. I can feeeeeellll" Shut the fuck up. Your album, Vertigo, sucks. Talentless paddies.

Eminem - Stop being so decrepit and make some decent music to listen to. No-one cares if you know of some slut who likes to get bummed from behind. Weed.

Coldplay - Student uni band. Need I say more?

James Bland - My mother sings this "You are beautiful" shit to my niece.

Take That - My sister fancies Gary Barlow, of all people to fancy. A load of wankers.

Lily Allen - She plays this "I don't give a shit" pretense while she produces crap music. And I hate your father's "Vindaloo", too.

Charlotte Church - Fat cock-sucking Welsh cow.

Football songs - Nationalist bollocks which implies that a football game is supposedly more than it should be. Beautiful game, my arse. Overpaid wankers -- all of them.



 

[Lucifer]

seems to draw out the best, most philanthropic feelings in us, eh?  PMSL.

oh, and just for you, bruv...

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMES!!!

[Teejay]

Limp Bizkit: Metal and Rap simply do not mix

Green Day: 

My Chemical Romance:

Good Charlotte: No more frat-boy pop-punk please!

Blink 182: same as above

Linkin Park: why they became the most popular band on the globe, I will never know

Eminem - Godawful

50 Cent - There is a lot of awful hip-hop, especially of the gangsta variety, he one of them.

Jay-Z - Ditto

Notorious BIG - Please for the love of god, no more gangsta rap. Some Tupac and Nas are good, but gangsta rap in general is godawful anti-social and or nation of islam loving shit.

[Teejay]

Coldplay - Student uni band. Need I say more?

I got to agree with you, my opinion they are okay, overrated although.

[Teejay]

absolutely fucking everything by Queen. nuff said - the world will be a better place for it.

 

Radiohead - purely for being the most overrated band in the history of rock, ever.

Not to mention the weirdest

[duncvis]

I forgot to include Muse on my list. Warbling, boring toss. 

[Nomaken]

I would jury-rig 55 batteries to an mp3 player and a loudspeaker, seal everything in waterproofing and give it cement foundations 6 feet thick, and put on, "The Lion sleeps tonight."  Just because I think it would be very nice for atmosphere for that long to play on a desert island for all of time.