daddy would you like some sausage!?
daddy would you like some sau-sage-es!?
Betty: But Gord, I don't care about jewels, I just want to suck your cock.
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Gord Brody: [playing the sausage organ] Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage?
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Gord Brody: Hi. How are you?
Betty: I'd be a lot better if you'd smack my legs with this bamboo.
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Gord Brody: I wanna eat chicken burgers.
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Gord Brody: I'm gunna make you proud, Dad...
[starts driving away but brakes and honks as a senior citizen is about to cross]
Gord Brody: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.
[continues driving]
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Jim: Get out of the toilet!
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Jim: Ohhhhh, look honey, our boy's a genius! He's rigged a pulley system so he can eat sausage and work on his stupid drawings.
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Julie Brody: Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef.
Gord Brody: Why do you guys always have roast beef?
Jim: Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it.
Gord Brody: It's just boring.
[Opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich]
Gord Brody: I'm eating a chicken sandwich.
Jim: No, you're not!
Gord Brody: This is crazy. I'm a 28-year-old man, I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want.
Jim: He's 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon's son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken!
[Grabs chicken sandwich, throws it to the dogs]
Julie Brody: Jim, no!
Jim: You can either eat that goddamn roast beef, or you can go to bed.
[Gord leaves the room]
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Gord Brody: You can't hurt me, not with my cheese helmet!
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Gord Brody: [Dressed in his father's suit, back to front] I'm the backwards man, the backwards man, I can run back as fast as you can.
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Gord Brody: There's my La Baron. Where's your La Baron?
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Jim: Where the fuck is the water?
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Gord Brody: I see the problem here. There's a baby in your body.
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Jim: You BETTER run. You LIIIIIAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR.
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Gord Brody: Look, Daddy, I'm a farmer.
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Gord Brody: Fuck you, dad.
Jim: Fuck me? Is that what you wanna do?
[Jim drops his pants]
Jim: Well, go ahead, FUCK ME.
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Gord Brody: [playing violin wildly] This is a fancy restaurant. This is a fancy restaurant.
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Jim: Wait a minute... You're crippled.
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: What?
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: You got a problem with my legs?
Jim: No, you got a problem with your legs. It's ether that, or you're just lazy.
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Gord Brody: Japan Four.
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Harry: You hear the funny sound? You hear the funny sound? It's my hooves. It's my hooves.
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Sandwich Customer: This cheese sandwich.
Gord Brody: What?
Sandwich Customer: It doesn't have enough cheese in it.
Gord Brody: Well... we can't have that, 'cause, you know, a cheese sandwich with no cheese, it's just... two pieces of bread, and you know what? I could LOSE MY JOB. I could lose ALL THIS.
[starts cramming all the cheese slices on the counter into the sandwich]
Gord Brody: So you can... have... all... the cheese... you want.
[throws the stack of cheese slices and bread at the customer]
Sandwich Customer: What the hell do you expect me to do with this?
Gord Brody: Well, I don't know. You could... SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUM-BUM.
[customer walks out disgusted]
Gord Brody: Yooou... can... put... the... cheeese... in... your... bum...
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Jim: [to Betty] If this was Pakistan, you'd be sewing soccer balls.
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Gord: Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls.
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Jim: Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya?
[Turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet]
Jim: Don't tell me this boy's so stupid he doesn't know the difference between hot and cold.
[opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in Scuba Gear]
Jim: Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear?
Gord: Look, I found a treasure.
Jim: That's a soap on a rope!
Gord: SHhhhhhhhhh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.
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Gord Brody: He's a molester! He's a CHILLLLLLLLD MOLESTER!
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Jim: [after he leaves Gord in the shower] You retard!
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Jim: You want Daddy to give you a spanking in front of his retard slut whore?
Betty: I'M NOT RETARDED!
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Gord Brody: I hope I get a jobby, Freddy. I've got my fingers crossed... crossed... crossed... crossed... cross... ed.
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Andy Malloy: Can I really have a piece of cake, Daddy?
Mr. Malloy: Sure you can, son. It's your birthday!
Andy Malloy: Yea!
Mr. Malloy: Yea!
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Jim: He said 'Fuck you, dad'. So I said 'Fuck you, fuck me. Fuck you, fuck me"... and I NEVER FINGERED FREDDY.
[Andy Malloy looks at Jim while playing catch and gets hit in mouth with baseball, cries]
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Gord Brody: Wow... it's a Le Baron.
Jim: Bet your boots it's a Le Baron. Good car. Convertible.
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Gord: Don't touch my shoulder, I saved the day.
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Gord Brody: I'm looking for a David Davidson.
Woman: I'm a woman.
Gord Brody: Did I ask what sex you are?
Woman: No.
Gord Brody: Did I ask if you were David Davidson?
Woman: My name is Cheryl.
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Gord Brody: This is "Little Timmy". He gets us food and stuff. Right, little timmy?
Jim: What the fuck is going on Gord? Why aren't you at your new job?
Gord Brody: What are you talking about Timmy?
Jim: Gord... Jesus. There ain't no big computer job... is there? You're just gallavantin' around in my suit pretending to be some kind of mover 'n shaker aren't you?
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Gord: Ahhh... Freddy. Freddy.
Freddy Brody: Is that um...
Jim: Thats your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use?
Freddy Brody: How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right poP? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
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Jim: Miserable dead beat punk. Paid for his damn college. Sits around all day wacking off. Proud? My ASS.
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Gord Brody: Ding dong! I'm a sexy boy!
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Doctor: You did not save the day!
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Psychiatrist: Mister Brody, this is very serious. Base on what I have heard today, I am required bylaw to notify the authorities.
