i2 Special News Team Special Report! Duke Nukem Has Been Injured!

[DukeNukem]

          On September 11th, 2010, at approximately 8:30 PM, Duke Nukem was found running around in his home by the paramedics and the fire department, screaming in pain and agony. Duke called 911 about 10 minutes prior, complaining that his "PINGAS" was on fire, and the operator opted to send both an ambulance and some firefighters since there was a fire reported and that Duke could not escape. Needless to say, there was no fire, just Duke running around naked with what appeared to be a white cream all around his genital area. He was restrained and put on a stretcher, before being carried off to the hospital, crying and screaming like a child. At the Emergency Room, doctors were informed that Duke Nukem had applied a tube of IcyHot cream to his genitalia and it caused extremely painful burning sensations to his penis. Doctors also noted a little melting on Duke's trademark "Balls of Steel (TM)", meaning that Duke would require a replacement for his prosthetic testicles. Other than that, Duke was fine and the pain went away after about an hour. However, Duke Nukem will have to be hospitalized for four weeks or more for his balls replacement.

           Duke Nukem stated that he was told that using IcyHot would exponentially increase his pleasure from masturbation and whoever told him that is a fucking liar. That would be... ME, Mudkipz! Duke is really an idiot (and a sick bastard) if he really believed that a product which has a warning against applying to mucous membranes (the part of the penis where the pee comes out is one of them) and broken/irritated skin (which Duke has those damn friction burns on his... eh...) would ACTUALLY make him feel "better"... "down there". If he reads this, I'm sorry about your Balls of Steel (TM) melting, Duke! I hope that you feel better so that I can make you look stupid again!
 
-Mudkipz, Chief Anchor of i2 Special News Team

[Squidusa]

How can your dick melt if it doesnt exist?   

[The_Chosen_One]

How can your dick melt if it doesnt exist?   

To which he answered  'I never believed in global warming and the hole in the ozone layer either'.

[Squidusa]

How can your dick melt if it doesnt exist?   

To which he answered  'I never believed in global warming and the hole in the ozone layer either'.

Global warming being a lie is more likely than Judy having something between his legs.

[The_Chosen_One]

How can your dick melt if it doesnt exist?   

To which he answered  'I never believed in global warming and the hole in the ozone layer either'.

Global warming being a lie is more likely than Judy having something between his legs.

Maybe Judy thought the Earth was one of his balls of steel, and used the IcyHot on it, hence global warming. Well, he does exaggerate things.

[RageBeoulve]

This is gay. I'm not newsboxing it dude. 

[Squidusa]

How can your dick melt if it doesnt exist?   

To which he answered  'I never believed in global warming and the hole in the ozone layer either'.

Global warming being a lie is more likely than Judy having something between his legs.

Maybe Judy thought the Earth was one of his balls of steel, and used the IcyHot on it, hence global warming. Well, he does exaggerate things.

  

[Squidusa]

This is gay. I'm not newsboxing it dude. 

Well just put a side note saying that Judy needs a eyetest because we can all see theres nothing down there

[RageBeoulve]

Tomorrow. Maybe. 

[Squidusa]

Tomorrow. Maybe. 

 

btw on the comment for the karma I just gave you its meant to say "comics" not comments 

[RageBeoulve]

Haha I understood. 

[The_Chosen_One]

Tomorrow. Maybe. 

I wouldn't newsbox it either, Rage. If anything I'd place next to the classifieds and the Death notices.

[RageBeoulve]

Maybe i'll start a hall of shame series.

[Squidusa]

Maybe i'll start a hall of shame series.

I'd only do it on people if I were you.... If it was quotations it'd be full of Judy'isms 

[ῦ]

You bastards are slipping, this should have been one of the first replies.