I've been off seraquel since this Tuesday. I'm off it secretly. My mom doesn't know my psyh doesn't know. They think I need it.
I have a choice and i'm going to do it. My heart is telling me to do this. My gut reaction.
What seroquel has done to me was make me 10 pounds over weight. I am fit but I got a pot belly that bothers me. It makes me want to sleep and play video games all day. Makes me tired makes me boring. it makes me non productive non creative.
This week this is what has happened with the withdrawal.
I know this is horrible and its gonna get worse. I would rather go through a while of agony than be a slave to these meds all my life.
This is the price of freedom.
The bad stuff...........
Weird dreams and waking up sweaty and hot or cold and shaking.
I dreamed last night that I was in a bar and I kept getting trapped in the bottles
Very bad insomnia. I shake at night and sweat
I'm itchy all over I thought bugs were on my skin today. I was aware that these 'bugs" are a withdrawl symptom
My head is itchy, my back EVERYWHERE
Suppressed appetite. If I eat too fast I gag. Yesterday I puked during the hockey game in my bowl. The idea of food makes me sick
the pizza place made me sick today. I was drinking a Rock Star and that made me nautious.
Having mild hallucinations in my preferential eye vision similar to when I was using inhalants it sounds funny but last year when I was
high on a mixture of paint, glue and Air wick at work l I thought my boss was Dr.Phil.
I had a simular thing happen to me today. i was walking down the street and for a second I thought their was a dead baby stuffed in a bag
in the back of someones car. It was just a loaf of french bread in a bag of groceries.
this stuff sounds funny but it's freaky at the time and not really funny and makes you go "what the hell was that?"
I have a hard time concentrating on things.
Though the good thing is that I don't have anger I'm not judgmental over everyone I see, I don't get angry at the TV or my parents.
I do get nutty and sadistic at times but I still did on the seroquil. Stuff like laughing at lampshades or windowsills and telling Hitler and dead baby jokes. Not that sadistic just typical Family Guy bullshit. Was tolerant around middle school kids today which usually I get angry and give thme the finger.
I have more creativity, positive emotions and more ambition but I can't stand the constant shaking and itching.
