Three men survive a plane crash, only to find themselves deserted on an island full of cannibals. Fortunately for the passengers, these cannibals were particularly polite as far as cannibals go, so they offered them each a last request before they ate them and turned their skins into canoes.
The first gentleman, who happened to be an Englishman, asked for a nice cigar. His request was granted, and the cannibals ate him and turned his skin into a nice cover for a canoe. As they went to cut off his head, he shouted, "Long live the Queen!"
The second gentleman, who happened to be French, asked for a glass of wine. His request was granted, and the cannibals ate him and turned his skin into a nice cover for a canoe. As they went to cut off his head, he shouted, "Viva la France!"
The third gentleman, who happened to be a New Yorker, asked for a fork.
"A fork?!" the cannibals (who, incredibly, spoke fluent English) asked incredulously, "are you sure?"
"Yes! Give me the damn fork!" He barked at the polite cannibals, who were appalled by such crass behavior. Still, there was the cannibal moral code to uphold, so they handed him the fork. He began to stab himself all over his body. As they cut off his head, he shouted, "HA! I RUINED YOUR CANOE!!!"
