Buy my new super-deluxe teeth whitening kit, it includes step by step directions on how to pour your choice of white-out or white latex paint onto your toothbrush. Call now and I'll even send you and additional copy of the same sheet absolutely free, all you have to do is pay the shipping and handling cost of $19.95 CALL NOW!!!
Note: this treatment is not covered by any insurance plan and would probably make a dentist shit himself if you mentioned it to him, so keep it to yourself, and send cash since I have a bit of a tax problem.