Suicidal Aspie's

[Callaway]

Unfortunately, I am at that stage where I am less afraid of dying than living. I need professional help and will seek it for real this week.
I'd rather live for a cause than die for it.

I hope you're going to be OK.

I think if it's partly about the huge stress of being the full-time caregiver for your wife, if it came down to a difficult choice, both you and she would be better off if you left her and stayed alive rather than you leaving her through dying.

[renaeden]

Unfortunately, I am at that stage where I am less afraid of dying than living. I need professional help and will seek it for real this week.
I'd rather live for a cause than die for it.

I wish you well. I hope you get the help you need from good people.

[punkdrew]

Unfortunately, I am at that stage where I am less afraid of dying than living. I need professional help and will seek it for real this week.
I'd rather live for a cause than die for it.

I hope you're going to be OK.

I think if it's partly about the huge stress of being the full-time caregiver for your wife, if it came down to a difficult choice, both you and she would be better off if you left her and stayed alive rather than you leaving her through dying.

Thanks. But it'snot that simple. Anyway, I'll get some help, stay off the drink and get on with my life.

[punkdrew]

Unfortunately, I am at that stage where I am less afraid of dying than living. I need professional help and will seek it for real this week.
I'd rather live for a cause than die for it.

I wish you well. I hope you get the help you need from good people.

["couldbecousin"]

Unfortunately, I am at that stage where I am less afraid of dying than living. I need professional help and will seek it for real this week.
I'd rather live for a cause than die for it.

I wish you well. I hope you get the help you need from good people.

  Wish I could add something useful...

[Queen Victoria]

I echo couldbecousin.  I haven't walked in your shoes so my advice would be superficial.  but you have my thoughts and prayers.

My great grandfather on my mom's side committted suicide (gun) in the 1900 decade.  While I don't know the details or even the broad picture of their lives I suspect it affected the family greatly.  He left 7 children and a wife in poverty.  Perhaps he was depressed that he couldn't care for them adequately.  I don't know.

I have seen first hand the effect that a parent's death leaves on a child.  My mom's dad was murdered when she was 3.  I don't think she ever recovered from that, nor did her mother.  I am trying to break the inherited cycle of loss with my own family.

[punkdrew]

Thanks. it's just awhole bunch of shit: no job, recovering alcoholic, and now broke. Not a good combo--don't recommend it. Feel OK ATM--got some work done and am eating. 

[Frolic_Fun]

I realise the world is shit, humans are shit and that my life is more likely that it's not going anywhere. Strangely enough I'm far from suicidal.

["couldbecousin"]

Thanks. it's just awhole bunch of shit: no job, recovering alcoholic, and now broke. Not a good combo--don't recommend it. Feel OK ATM--got some work done and am eating. 

I'm glad you are in recovery from the alcoholism, and I highly recommend eating and getting some work done, those have helped me as well.
You're doing the best you can...

["couldbecousin"]

I realise the world is shit, humans are shit and that my life is more likely that it's not going anywhere. Strangely enough I'm far from suicidal.

As long as you can find your own corner of the world that isn't shit, and a few humans who bring you some happiness, I guess it isn't so bad.

[Frolic_Fun]

Easier said than done, but I'm not even depressed because of that either.

I suppose my curiosity of what makes people and society tick keeps me going.

[Adam]

I realise life is shit but don't think I'm depressed anymore. I have my bad days but I think everyone has them

I think it can actually help. to realise that life is shit regardless. It makes you appreciate the things that make it bearable more than you would do if you were constantly trying to reach some level of happiness that was virtually impossible to reach. I know I'm never gonna have the perfect life , so I try and make do with what I do have

[richard]

dying is painful. even while asleep im shure its excrushiating pain like worlds tearing apart

[Al Swearegen]

I realise life is shit but don't think I'm depressed anymore. I have my bad days but I think everyone has them

I think it can actually help. to realise that life is shit regardless. It makes you appreciate the things that make it bearable more than you would do if you were constantly trying to reach some level of happiness that was virtually impossible to reach. I know I'm never gonna have the perfect life , so I try and make do with what I do have

Yes Soph. This is likely the wisest thing I have seen you write. I was a lot older than you before I drew the same conclusion. Great post