Okay. Well I think people should still be nice to people. People only deserve meanness if they are mean. At least Callaway was understanding and Soph because they didn't judge him. I am not sure how many others here judged him.
I've never been mean to your friend (heck I don't even know him, not even from WP) all I've said is that what he did was sociallly inappropriate.
People could have told him nicely that is unacceptable and he shouldn't do it and tell him why. The mother should have told him "I would really appreciate it if you didn't visit my daughter's grave anymore because it makes me very uncomfortable and it creeps me out when you do. Did you use me to get closer to my daughter?" and she could have also said she appreciates that he is honoring her daughter but he has visit her daughter's grave long enough now and seen it many times enough so he can stop now.
But when the issue is around an emotional topic, people very rarely think clearly. They say the first thing that pops out of their head and it's usually more fierce and direct than if they had had some time to process it, and then respond.
When she got all mean, he got all defensive and went to court to fight when she was going around saying he stalked her daughter's grave and having it go in the media. Like he told me, people think the worst when they see the word stalking. They think he was harassing the mother by calling her and sending her flowers and cards and all instead of thinking he was seeing the grave over and over. I figured that's what he was doing and he told me so on the phone. Then he shares a funny story on how he also thinks the worst too. When he saw my PM saying "Ah Crap" he thought I messed up on Wimzie's House like I forgot to record an episode or something happened with the DVD but instead it was about this. I'm recording those shows for him to send to him.
I see what you're saying. YOU know him to be an nice guy. Mother of the baby just knows him to be a guy who won't leave her baby's grave alone. So yes, she's jumps to the worst conclusions but her only interaction with him has been over the death of her child and wounds like that don't heal. Do I think he meant to hurt her? Of course not. But when you're someone outside of the issue, it makes it easier to look at the big picture.
Heck when people get mean to me for no reason and I did nothing wrong to them, my reaction goes "Fuck you bitch, I'm glad I offended you and I hope to piss you off again because you're a jerk." But if they told me nicely to not do this or that, I am less defensive. That's why I don't even care if I upset that bitch. In fact I look forward to hoping to piss her off again on accident because well she is a bitch. I'll just bring my camera with me and turn it on and record her freak out and post it online to my friends so they can see what a jerk she is. I like showing people they can't mess with me because I am not some helpless victim they can pick on. I swear that's the charm I have on me and people see it and go "oh she is easy to pick on, lets do it since she can't fend for herself." I used to be picked on a lot more when I was 17 until I picked on a jerk and caused his forum to crash thanks to me and my online friends I involved. Since then, lot of people have left me alone. I think they realized I am not as naive they thought I was and not as innocent they thought I was. I showed them all. I even scared the man off the net but I am sure he still posts online in the AB/DL community but he goes by a different name to ditch me but I wouldn't pick a fight with him again anyway because it's been six years now since the incident.
I think it's good that you stand up for yourself.
But isn't driving by peoples homes from movies impeding on privacy?
No. This is where the lines of social appropriate rules gets blurry. Technically, people aren't surprised by this because it's something a lot of people do, therefore, it's more accepted. What your friend does is something not a lot of people do (or openly admit to doing) therefore it comes across as creepy.
My friend did move away from his ex friend and moved back to his home in CA. He told me about how she judged him like everyone else does and he wishes his DX was mentioned in the media so the lady feel bad for how she treated him. That be good enough revenge. I told him just don't tell people you visit their kid's graves or they might get mean. I even told him he needs to quit saying online he collects childrens shoes and longalls and likes hanging around toddlers or else he gets all this crap. He's been judged for what he collects and my reaction is "I suppose all those stupid people judge people who collect Happy Meal toys and other vintage toys."
Collecting children's toys? Socially appropriate. Lots of people do it (Barbie, GI Joe, Happy Meal etc). Adults hanging out with toddlers as friends, not socially appropriate and therefore he will be judged for it.
Why does he refuse adult friends? Because they are all mean and judgmental and all those people are doing him a big favor to not be a man by calling him a pedo and judging him and calling him retarded. It makes him go to the little kids more because they don't judge him or hurt him and they are nice to him. Sad isn't it?
Yes, it's sad. No one should be treated that way. But he has to learn social skills that will get him by in the adult world because him hanging around toddler to befriend him only hurts
him further. He is setting himself up as a target. There are actual classes that one can attend to learn adult social skills. Maybe he would benefit?
With the rest of us, we just withdraw more from people and not go to kids to be with for our peers when we get the same crap minus the "pedohile." Even I can't stand lot of people because they are so ignorant and shallow, stupid but I don't let it stop me from talking to people or going to places or posting online or meeting aspies off the internet.
It's one of those things where no matter how innocent the intent is, you can't set yourself up to be a target. There are rules in society that we have to live by or else you end up making life very difficult for yourself.
I have nothing against you or your friend, SG. I'm just offering up the other side.
