SG,
The miscarriage will not go away. It is not strange that you are still thinking on it, or wanting to talk about it. It can come up again and again. It may make you sad in ten years, after years of hardly thinking about it.
Don't feel bad about how you feel, or about what you want to ask.
If on a forum about miscarriages your posts are seen as inappropriate, that may be your ASD.
In that way one on one counselling may be good for you indeed, provided the counsellor knows about ASD.
Talking about it may be good. It would not be a good thing to have a second child as a replacement for the first one. The first one needs mourning, so that you can let it go. And probably by being damned sad about it.
When it comes to having children. You can prepare yourself in a way. But in the end, you cannot plan when you will fall pregnant. You cannot plan if the pregnancy will go well, you cannot plan on the health of your kid. You cannot plan that no diseases will disrupt the lives of you or your husband. It is still wise to be well prepared though.
And you can and should be prepared to love a child for what it is I think. All the other things can change in a moment. Accidents, misfortunes, life is as insecure as hell. Make sure you are stable enough that you can vouch for your love for the child.