i know !! i try not to think of it, or i get really angry, and then frustrated, and then depressed, cos i can't do much about it...
so, best thing to do is to know when it's worth pursuing, and when to give up, otherwise you'll drive yourself mad with frustration. which is what i've done in alex's case. but then, i started that process a long time ago, since i was "working on it" for ages, before it all blew up.