What's the most awesome thing you have done while shitfaced?
The most awesome thing I can
remember doing while shitfaced...
1994, I was a 20 year old U.S. Marine stationed in Okinawa, Japan. One night walking home from the bars by myself (I tend to wander off from the group), I was crossing a bridge over one of the outlets that emptied out into the China Sea. There were several small boats moored along the side, so I thought it would be a good idea to take a boat ride. Hey, I grew up in the land of 10,000 lakes, I know how to operate a boat, right? I pick one that looks good. It was a wood boat, probably about 14' (4.2672 meters), had a pile of fishing nets in it, and a small outboard (maybe 50-80 hp).
The first thing I did was untie the boat. Good idea, right? So now I'm floating with the current, headed toward the ocean. Shit, I should get the engine started. I go to lower the engine to put the prop in the water - *sploosh* - the whole fucking engine goes into the drink. Fuck. Closer to the ocean now, current starting to pick up. Don't want to jump out, there's no way I can swim against the current. I'm passing some other boats and decide to take a running jump. Landed in a big pile of rotten smelling nets, looked up to see the boat I had jumped from capsized from me pushing off of it. Whoops. Then everything went dark.
I woke up the next morning under the nets - I must have thought they were blankets. I'm startled at first, then quickly remember the shenanigans of the previous night. So I sit up... SHIT. I must have tried to untie that boat too, because I'm about 200 feet out into the China Sea... still tethered to the dock. I pull myself and the boat back in, and see that the rope had miraculously managed to tangle itself on the moor at the last five feet of length.
Saved by pure dumb luck.
