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Author Topic: Friends  (Read 522 times)

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Offline Soleiyu

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Friends
« on: September 17, 2009, 05:19:00 PM »
How many friends do you have? I always had at least one or two friends, but the last five years I haven't had any and it feels kind of good.
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Offline Adam

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Re: Friends
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2009, 05:42:51 PM »
None since I left college

It's harder to make friends when you're on your own and have no one to introduce you to people etc

Maintaining friendships is even harder though, and most people my age aren't interested in what I'm into, so whatever

I'm close to my family and my pets - I prefer having my cat and my dog as friends

Offline Soleiyu

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Re: Friends
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2009, 05:55:12 PM »
None since I left college

It's harder to make friends when you're on your own and have no one to introduce you to people etc

Maintaining friendships is even harder though, and most people my age aren't interested in what I'm into, so whatever

I'm close to my family and my pets - I prefer having my cat and my dog as friends

I had a cat as a friend, but she died. I still have two of the family's cats but they aren't really as good friends as the one that died.

I always seem to get bored of human friendships and eventually I just stop calling or talking to people.
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Offline Parts

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Re: Friends
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2009, 07:25:13 PM »
I have people I interact with but only a couple friends.  My pets are better though :laugh:
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Offline Leto729

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Re: Friends
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2009, 07:39:34 PM »
I joke around with certain people but not really friends.
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Re: Friends
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2009, 09:22:34 PM »
Real friends: father, mother, brother grandmother. There is one guy from the internet I consider my friend, too, but we've never met.

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Re: Friends
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2009, 09:57:10 PM »
I have a few people I call friends, but the problem is of the people I've made friends with over the years I tend to lose contact with them. You know, shit happens and you move on.

Nowadays, probably you people and the ones on zOMG are my internet 'friends',and the only IRL friends I have are family and close relationship ones.

Offline Untermensch

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Re: Friends
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2009, 11:37:49 PM »
Apart from my family, I have a few in IRL, none I would consider close although.
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Offline Phlexor

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Re: Friends
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2009, 12:52:28 AM »
Meh, friends are too much maintenance. I have a wife and 5 kids to keep me company.

Offline Soleiyu

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Re: Friends
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2009, 02:43:03 AM »
Looks like a similar situation for a lot of people here. It's probably natural for aspies I guess.
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Re: Friends
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2009, 05:34:46 AM »
We're talking irl or online? I, surprisingly enough, have a couple irl ones right now.  However saying that, if some people didn't stay behind at college for another year, I would be lonely as fuck.  Most friendships I make are pretty short-term though.  I'm good with meeting new people but shit with keeping them. 


Offline Untermensch

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Re: Friends
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2009, 06:29:35 AM »
We're talking irl or online? I, surprisingly enough, have a couple irl ones right now.  However saying that, if some people didn't stay behind at college for another year, I would be lonely as fuck.  Most friendships I make are pretty short-term though.  I'm good with meeting new people but shit with keeping them. 

I am much the same when it comes to being shit with keeping with friends. Also when I happen to make friends IRL, they generally are pretty busy people and it is hard to spend much time with them.
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Offline Soleiyu

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Re: Friends
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2009, 07:32:52 AM »
Another problem for me is that many of the friends I used to have expect me to become more like them when they realize I'm not living an active studying/working life. They think my life is somehow "bad for me" or whatever. I hate that.
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Offline El

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Re: Friends
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2009, 07:44:24 AM »
Maybe two or three I feel really close to, and several more that I'm friendly with and am around on a regular basis.  Others, I was friendly with and saw on a regular basis once and would hang out with for a bit if I randomly saw them and they were up for it, but wouldn't be likely to hunt down to hang out.  There's gradation.

My most recent ex was an extrovert; by comparison I felt like a recluse.  I figured out after awhile that there were a few things at play that were masking how many "friends" he had- like counting people he hadn't seen in years as "friends" or "buddies" of his if there hadn't been a specific falling out, or counting friendly acquaintences as friends.  He was talking about a mutual friend of ours once and said, offhand, "...who you call your friend even though she's not really your friend..."  I'm pretty sure on some level he was trying to be a dick (I think he wanted to drag my self-esteem down to where his was), but I don't think he knew that would actually have me in tears.  At the time I hadn't realized that he sort of cheated in the way he counted friends, too.

All that said, he legitimately managed to keep a large social circle by hanging out with groups of people, rather than individual people.  He did two pencil-and-paper "game nights" a week, band practice every week, and would spontaneously hang out and drink, get high, or play Magic (or all three) with people he was friendly with.  All good strategies for keeping a large social circle.  The same strategies peobably also contributed to why he's had long-term problems with school achievement, and with keeping any girlfriend more than a few months, though.
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Offline Untermensch

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Re: Friends
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2009, 08:00:02 AM »
My most recent ex was an extrovert; by comparison I felt like a recluse.  I figured out after awhile that there were a few things at play that were masking how many "friends" he had- like counting people he hadn't seen in years as "friends" or "buddies" of his if there hadn't been a specific falling out, or counting friendly acquaintances as friends.  He was talking about a mutual friend of ours once and said, offhand, "...who you call your friend even though she's not really your friend..."  I'm pretty sure on some level he was trying to be a dick (I think he wanted to drag my self-esteem down to where his was), but I don't think he knew that would actually have me in tears.  At the time I hadn't realized that he sort of cheated in the way he counted friends, too.

I have a friend sort of like your ex, although probably much more extroverted. I feel like a total recluse when I am hanging out with him, because he is really into socializing and likes to brag on about all these 'mates' of his. When in reality he only has a handful of 'real' friends, including his best friend whom are 'joined at the hip' so to speak.

Him being an extreme extrovert is tiring on me and it does not help he lives alone. Since his girlfriend lives in Queensland and he visits her only every so often. As a result he bombards his friends (including me) with requests to catch up over coffee or have lunch or see a movie or go to a pub or nightclub on I dare say alarmingly frequent basis. I am very reluctant to give out my address to him, because I fear he would want to come around to my place more often than I want.
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