the youngest are the most vicious, probably theory of mind. Â they do not understand the hurt they are causing, because they are not the ones who feel the hurt of exclusion.
my posistion is simple:
i do not want my child to become bitter with other people at such a young age because of the hurt.
i see growth in her and would hope that once she reaches an age where she is completely accountable for her actions then she would have learned how to deal with other people. Â i do not want my daughters to resent each other. Â they will always be family, but friends come and go. Â my youngest may have resentful feelings now (she doesn't show it), but as she ages she will have seen enough of life to have learned compassion for what our position is on this matter, and i suspect, shwe will understand. Â
so basically i am making a decision based upon long term psychological effects and weighing them between both of my children. Â and, i believe, choosing the lesser of two evils.