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Offline WolFish

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Adult Letter to Santa
« on: December 05, 2008, 05:23:23 PM »
http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

copy and paste yours here - don't close the window by accident like i did!
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Offline Peter

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Re: Adult Letter to Santa
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2008, 03:45:36 AM »
I'm stuck at "friend's name".
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Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Peter

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Re: Adult Letter to Santa
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2008, 04:03:14 AM »
Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at hypothetical friend #1's Christmas party. It was hypothetical friend #2 who spiked the punch with too much wine. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like frankincense.

I thought it was funny when I put hypothetical friend #1's willy warmer on my head and danced the highland fling on the book case while singing `agadoo'. I didn't mean to break hypothetical friend #1's vibrating rubber pussy and don't know why hypothetical friend #1 would sue me for genocide.

I don't remember calling hypothetical friend #3's wife a fucking sheep---even though she looked like one with aeneous eye shadow and erythraean lipstick!

And when I threw up on hypothetical friend #4's husband's left foot, it was only because I ate too much of that haggis.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my F-22 Raptor through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a nicely black ant and have me arrested for public indecency!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all slippery and quietly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this priestly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and well yours,
Peter (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 24 bucks!
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Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Callaway

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Re: Adult Letter to Santa
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2008, 04:19:03 AM »
 :lol:

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Odeon's Christmas party. It was Lucifer who spiked the punch with too much Fairy Fizz. I can't help it if I drank 3 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Gardenia.

I thought it was funny when I put Peter's Dress on my head and danced the Hokey-Pokey on the Chair while singing `All You Need is Love'. I didn't mean to break Odeon's Laptop and don't know why Odeon would sue me for Vandalism.

I don't remember calling Dunc's wife a Old Sheep---even though she looked like one with Blue eye shadow and Green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Renaeden's husband's Foot, it was only because I ate too much of that Cake.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Minivan through my neighbor's Living Room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Big Cat and have me arrested for Murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Cold and Hot. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Crazy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Laconically yours,
Lisa (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 7 bucks!

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