Self-awareness

[Nocturnalist!]

When I was a teenager, my Mother was scared of me

Any particular reason for this?

To this day I do not know why. It was my Dad who told me that I scare her and that, even when I was at school she was scared of even going into my bedroom. I do not believe that I was a monster... and I never objected to my Mum tidying my room if she felt the inclination.

I've never been able to figure it

[DirtDawg]

I'm a fifty three year old man who awakens (no longer on the hour, sadly  ) every other day with a high pitched, "ping" sounding hardon and I have a fucking pimple to chase, once a week.

Not much more to add here, that I haven't talked about for a couple of years. Read my old posts. Most of them are about my awareness of self and how it annoys me to be me. I certainly wouldn't want to be anyone else, though!!!!

[punkdrew]

I'm a fifty three year old man who awakens (no longer on the hour, sadly  ) every other day with a high pitched, "ping" sounding hardon and I have a fucking pimple to chase, once a week.

Not much more to add here, that I haven't talked about for a couple of years. Read my old posts. Most of them are about my awareness of self and how it annoys me to be me. I certainly wouldn't want to be anyone else, though!!!!

To quote Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List: "Never waste a hard-on." ; )

[DirtDawg]

I'm a fifty three year old man who awakens (no longer on the hour, sadly  ) every other day with a high pitched, "ping" sounding hardon and I have a fucking pimple to chase, once a week.

Not much more to add here, that I haven't talked about for a couple of years. Read my old posts. Most of them are about my awareness of self and how it annoys me to be me. I certainly wouldn't want to be anyone else, though!!!!

To quote Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List: "Never waste a hard-on." ; )

That's from the three rules of middle age or some such tripe.

1. Never waste a hardon.

2. Never pass up a place to piss.

3. Never, EVER trust a fart.




Ya gotta luv it







OH, I have to see The Bucket List.   I love both of those old guys. 

(waiting for it to come back around for $3.99 at work, which is below employee cost and only forty cents more than renting the fucking thing)

[Callaway]

When I was a teenager, my Mother was scared of me

Any particular reason for this?

To this day I do not know why. It was my Dad who told me that I scare her and that, even when I was at school she was scared of even going into my bedroom. I do not believe that I was a monster... and I never objected to my Mum tidying my room if she felt the inclination.

I've never been able to figure it

Why didn't you ask her?

Is she still alive?

[vodz]

I'm, like, fully awesome.

[Phlexor]

I'm probably more of a spaz than I realise.

[Nocturnalist!]

Why didn't you ask her?

Is she still alive?

She is still alive. I didn't consider asking her at the time... it was sufficient that my Dad told me. Now is a couple of decades after the fact and she doesn't have a good memory. I'd also feel uncomfortable asking her.

[Callaway]

Why didn't you ask her?

Is she still alive?

She is still alive. I didn't consider asking her at the time... it was sufficient that my Dad told me. Now is a couple of decades after the fact and she doesn't have a good memory. I'd also feel uncomfortable asking her.

I don't understand why you would be uncomfortable asking her whether she was afraid of you when you were a teenager and if so, then why.

Even if her memory is poor now, she probably has a much better memory for what happened back then than for what she ate for breakfast and encouraging her to talk about her past could be a good way to find a connection with her.

I learned all sorts of things from my parents even after I was grown up because I wasn't too shy to ask them questions.

[Phlexor]

Why didn't you ask her?

Is she still alive?

She is still alive. I didn't consider asking her at the time... it was sufficient that my Dad told me. Now is a couple of decades after the fact and she doesn't have a good memory. I'd also feel uncomfortable asking her.

I don't understand why you would be uncomfortable asking her whether she was afraid of you when you were a teenager and if so, then why.

Even if her memory is poor now, she probably has a much better memory for what happened back then than for what she ate for breakfast and encouraging her to talk about her past could be a good way to find a connection with her.

I learned all sorts of things from my parents even after I was grown up because I wasn't too shy to ask them questions.

My mother refuses to talk about anything that happened in the past unless its superficial.

Perhaps Nocti just gave off that serial killer vibe that some of us have and thats what frightened his mother?

[Nocturnalist!]

I don't understand why you would be uncomfortable asking her whether she was afraid of you when you were a teenager and if so, then why.

It would just be too intense.

Even if her memory is poor now, she probably has a much better memory for what happened back then than for what she ate for breakfast and encouraging her to talk about her past could be a good way to find a connection with her.

Wrong way around. Her short term memory is good, its her long term memory that leave much to be desired.

[Nocturnalist!]

Perhaps Nocti just gave off that serial killer vibe that some of us have and thats what frightened his mother?

That's what my guess is.

I do seem to be an off-putting sort of person at the best of times. People don't tend to wish to know me on the most part. Thank goodness my wife is Swiss and didn't listen to the person who warned her not to associate with me.

[renaeden]

When I was a teenager, my Mother was scared of me

Any particular reason for this?

To this day I do not know why. It was my Dad who told me that I scare her and that, even when I was at school she was scared of even going into my bedroom. I do not believe that I was a monster... and I never objected to my Mum tidying my room if she felt the inclination.

I've never been able to figure it

I am not surprised. That is an awful thing to say without sorting it out with you. And you have let it follow you for all these years thinking there was definitely a reason for her thoughts? Do you think that as anyone gets to know you, they will eventually see what your mum thinks she saw? What a horrible blow to your self esteem.
I know that when I was taking Tegretol (an anti-epileptic), I was told not to eat grapefruit. That was the only restriction.

[Nocturnalist!]

And you have let it follow you for all these years thinking there was definitely a reason for her thoughts?

I would imagine there would have to be a reason. My parents made mistakes (because it wasn't understood that I was differently wired) but they were generally very loving.

One of the joys of my two children is that they are totally at ease with me and totally natural. Everybody else seems to be more distant in varying degrees. Many people think negative things about me. From a female company director who thought me chauvenistic... to some who find me patronising or arrogant. My wife tells me that I can look very scarey when I am angry... she says my lips turn white and my eyes go black... sounds scarey to me. Fortunately I seldom let myself get so very angry that that happens - she's only seen it one or two times early on in our marriage.

Perhaps that is why my Mother was once scared of me.

[renaeden]

Now that I am back at school again I have become aware that people think things of me that are not true. Arrogant, snobbish, aloof, stuck-up. A few of the other students have told me that there is one person that thinks all these things about me yet she has only spoken to me once and that was after I made my speech to the class about why I want to study psychology. She sort of apologised about "anything I may have said to you" but I honestly can't remember us having any kind of converation before that. I can't figure it out.

My tutor really likes me and I can't figure that out either.