Sure thing, failed Lawyer. 
He's not failed. He's licensed and ready to rawk! 
Indeed I am.
Sorry for using a big word like failed, papsmear. You see, I wanted to be a lawyer, I went to law school, I graduated from law school and I became a lawyer. There is a bigger word for that. It's "successful". We contrast this to you. You wanted to be a geologist. You went to geology school. You were too stupid to graduate from geology school so you failed out of geology school. You are not a geologist. You are a failed geologist.
See how that works? Successful lawyer. Failed geologist.
I succeeded in what I wanted.
You failed out because you were too stupid.
Do you need me to continue explaining? I can try using smaller words I guess.
, and quacks like a 