Well I didn't mean to be competitive, just it made me want to kill myself more than I had wanted to in several years prior. Basically I was overcome with depression that was not related to anything specific in my life. I locked myself in my room for 4 days while living in a fraternity house, sleeping and crying hysterically mostly (I almost never cry at all). Keeping yourself locked in your room in a frat house is very hard to do with fraternity brothers knocking on your door asking you to come do shit with them and party. Finally my big brother Dante (fraternity) called my parents and had them come down to UCF to see if they could get me out of my room.
I have had bouts of depresssion before that were very intense, but I would at least let people talk to me. At the very worst I don't answer my door and phone for one or two days normally. I would have kept inside my room for much longer probably but I had to go to the bathroom and they were outside waiting for me. Tried to be very strategic about when I would leave my room to go to the bathroom and get food, but I failed in the end and people intervened. I was more depressed when I tried to kill myself years later, but that was motivated by actual reasons and not just total chemical depression.
:/ You win. I
thought I was going to die from my zyprexa withdrawal (I honestly did at a couple points) but I never wanted to. I tapered pretty slowly, though.
I know you weren't being competitive. I've been a bit of an asshole the past month or so (well, OK, all my life, but more so the past month.)
You seem to be lost in your own thoughts.