How important is it for you to have things in common?

[Tom/Mutate]

For things, interpret that any way you will.   Liking the same sports and hobbies, having the same beliefs and values?  Liking the same types of movies and music genres.  Whatever.  Similar personality type, even?

I was thinking, how important is it, really?  Say if you had a friend who liked all the exact same things as you.  The same TV shows, the same music, read the same authors, so you always had something to talk about.  But, this person was annoying and often acted like a jerk toward you.  Then say if you had a friend who you really liked being with, but you had virtually nothing in common.  You could never go to the same bars, watch movies or TV together, or discuss an issue in the news that didn't interest them.  Which would be best, out of these?

I was thinking, because my ex-girlfriend didn't really have anything in common with me in terms of intrests.  We had no common music taste, no hobbies we could share, or even films or books we had both enjoyed.  No political issues which intrested her at all.  And I really would like a gf who enjoyed some of the same things I did.   But then, I am just being super picky, and super petty?   We didnt break up cause of this - we were not suited in personality either.  Should it matter at all , do you think?

It got me thing today, because I was going to buy a Naruto DVD in Virgin.  And I was thinking about McJ, he loves Naruto, and loves talking about it, but does he have real life friends who like it?  Does his wife love it like him? Does he care about that, or his he happy just watching it on his own, and chatting online?

I think that I have met people with similar intrests to me who I didn't particulary get on with, and I have dear friends who I don't have that much in common with.  But when I have a good friendship and similar intrests, I really like it.  Should it matter, do you think?  It is something worth looking for?

[Callaway]

I think that it is important for two people to have both some things in common and some differences.  It does not matter if both of them are Naruto fans or sport fans, or Harry Potter fans but there should be at least some common ground.  I think sharing some common values is more important than sharing common interests because values are often more deeply ingrained than interests.  They are more an integral part of the person.  I think personalities should be compatible, but not necessarily the same.  For example, two very stubborn people can clash more than an extremely stubborn person and a less stubborn one.

[Pyraxis]

I agree with Callaway - too similar is boring but too different isn't feasible. My best friend and I are radically different in values but we get along very well because we have a similar outlook on life: dive in over your head, find energy where you can, see a bright side in everything. We get into rousing philosophical debates - I'm a selfish capitalist bitch and she's a devoted altruist working in Africa to fight AIDS. We have issues we can't talk about because we both feel too strongly against the other one's beliefs. And we have strengths that compliment each other's weaknesses: she's very social so she can front for me in social situations, and I'm very much into psychology so I can help her with personal crises that no one else gets. We don't have too many common interests, but we have enough that we can do things together, like watching Dr. Who and then debating whatever issue was raised in the episode.

[QuirkyCarla]

I don't expect anyone to have everything in common with me, but it's important that we have a lot in common. If we have nothing or hardly anything in common I will have nothing to talk to them about.

[Nomaken]

I don't need anything in common, all I require is that they fascinate me, and I fascinate them.  Rather I'd like to have fewer things in common, so I could be fascinated by them more often.  Although I hope that cuddling and intense introspection are things both of us are fascinated by.

[Silk]

The biggest thing that matters to me is curiosity. While my friends and I do have a lot in common, I think it helps that we're curious about the different things that interest us. My friend is heavily into video games, and I watch her play a couple of them. I'm into anime, and I let my friend watch a couple dvds. Every relationship is give and take. Romantic or otherwise. I know full well after dragging my friends or family to see Harry Potter I'm gonna pay for it by being forced to watch some crappy horror movie that was put together in five minutes, and has the same teen(played by 30-somethings)/gore/porn theme. So I wouldn't have gone with either friend given in the examples. If I want to spend a ton of time with a jerk I have a lot in common with, I'll call my brother. If I want to spend time with a nice person who has none of the same interests as me, and is also unwilling to compromise when it comes to watching a simple movie, I'll call my mother.

[McGiver]

I don't expect anyone to have everything in common with me, but it's important that we have a lot in common. If we have nothing or hardly anything in common I will have nothing to talk to them about.

who needs talk when the sex is great?

[QuirkyCarla]

I don't expect anyone to have everything in common with me, but it's important that we have a lot in common. If we have nothing or hardly anything in common I will have nothing to talk to them about.

who needs talk when the sex is great?

 

[The_P]

Having common interests helps, but for me it's not enough to maintain a close friendship or relationship. I dunno, I guess I like to have a certain variety of different folks with different mindsets.