You know what I don't get?

[Minister Of Silly Walks]

It don't matter how drunk I am, that sh1t tastes like a failed chemical experiment to me. It does some serious damage to tourists on a regular basis and kills a few as well. The authorities turn a blind eye (no pun intended) to the practice.

Nasty.  Why drink it?  In the Canary Islands, fake booze is only a problem with clubs using cheap spirits I'm told.  If you drink in a normal bar, a pint is €2.50 and often far less than that.  Good stuff, everyone goes home happy.

Why drink it? Well some people like to drink alcohol. Go to a bar and that bottle of top-shelf scotch is more likely than not to contain a fair whack of methanol that could potentially kill you. In Thailand they might refill that bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin on the top shelf with a cheap local version that costs a quarter as much and tastes like crap... And I've heard that the "recipe" for Jack Daniels is 3 parts SangSom (cheap local whisky) and one part Red Bull. But that won't kill you.

Stick to beer, if you can drink it, and you might have an epic chunder and a stonking hangover but you'll probably live.

[Tequila]

Or you could do yourself a favour and go to Storm. It's meant to be OK beer and better than Bintang or whatever they think's beer there.  I'd imagine it's a gassy hell.  It's only 4.7% - what a waste of time.  I was expecting something stronger.

[Yuri Bezmenov]

Or you could skip those 3rd world shitholes and vacation in Central Oregon where we have 35 breweries, a few wineries and a distillery. And that's just the local stuff!

And some of our beers are truly world class.

[Tequila]

Oregon happens to be about the size of the UK.  Another plus.

[Yuri Bezmenov]

Oregon happens to be about the size of the UK.  Another plus.

It's not like it's an island or something.   

The California border is about a 2 hour drive from here and the Washington border is just over an hour and a half.

There's plenty to do here if you like the outdoors. If you don't like the outdoors there's always a fuckton of beer to drink.   

[Tequila]

Where's the place to be in Oregon then?  Could fly into Las Vegas from Manchester I suppose.

[Yuri Bezmenov]

Personally, I like it where I live because we're centrally located and there's plenty to do here.

If you want something different, Springfield, Eugene and the Willamette valley are just an hour and a half trip over the Cascade mountains. Portland is about a 2 hour drive up Hwy 26. If you want to see the coast, that's about a 3 hour drive.

We also have a commercial airport here in Redmond. There are direct flights from Las Vegas to Redmond.

[Tequila]

You'll know about it if I come.  You won't know what hit you.

Really though, I'd be polite and subdued.  I like a couple of beers and a look about the place.

[Calandale]

Personally, I like it where I live because we're centrally located and there's plenty to do here.

If you want something different, Springfield, Eugene and the Willamette valley are just an hour and a half trip over the Cascade mountains. Portland is about a 2 hour drive up Hwy 26. If you want to see the coast, that's about a 3 hour drive.

We also have a commercial airport here in Redmond. There are direct flights from Las Vegas to Redmond.

Pfft...everything 'worth doing' that's not right where you are is closer to here.