Agreed. I don't think it's possible to stop them. I am concerned, though, because the stuff that is easily accessible doesn't really promote sex as a healthy activity. Impressionable young minds and all that.
I fully realise that my daughter will have sex, eventually, but I would prefer that she isn't taken advantage of by some kid who got the wrong idea. I'd have to kill that kid and that's not right either.
There was a woman doing research on knowledge and pleasure in sex, through the last decades, interviewing people from 80, to kids from 15.
Scary outcome is that kids nowadays know a lot about hardcore sex, yet hardly anything about the pleasure of sex.
Best educated, and having most fun, where those who were in their teens in the end of the seventies.
Easy access to hard core porn on the internet made parents and school pay less and less attention on how to educate kids properly on fun and safety.
Any chance you could link some of that research?
And, this brings to mind (tangentially) an anecdote I may have shared before:
A friend of a friend a couple years back was very openly "kinky," and clearly enjoyed talking about some of the things she had done with her boyfriend of ~4 years (she was maybe 21, 22ish). Had been sexually active with the boyfriend before, poly with this guy for at least some of the relationship, talked about enjoying what she did with her boyfriend, said he was "good." Some creepy chinks in the armor, though. Approached me at one point at a party while drunk and asked if it was "safe," said I seemed likely to know, like she could trust me (she'd known me half a year at that point, and not very well)- then she ended up having a quickie with her boyfriend in the bathroom later that eve (apparently her feeling all skeeved out about safety didn't spoil the mood?). The guy had been in a fraternity and there were a couple of other stories I heard that sounded sketchy at best, like she was being victimized and didn't know, or didn't want to acknowledge it. One day she approached me and asked if antidepressants could make you permanently unable to orgasm- because she had been on them awhile as a teenager and
she had never had one.
Somewhere in there, she'd gotten some really effed ideas about sex and sexuality. (I say this not because of the "kink" part, but because of the sum of what I ended up hearing/concluding.) Seems all too common. Like there's an idea that sex is something that one is "supposed" to have and "supposed" to enjoy, regardless of one's actual inclination. Not saying it was porn- I highly doubt porn was the most important part of whatever went wrong there- but something was clearly all fucked up in how she viewed sex and sexuality, and (this is based on additional info/impressions) probably in how he viewed sex and in how he viewed women.
The way it used to be twisted, to my understanding, was that women weren't supposed to enjoy it, that it was a duty. Now, we're mostly past that, I think, but it's still all screwed up. It's still scarily common to hear about people (the first two tend to be women far more than men) who have never had an orgasm, don't masturbate, don't understand their own sexuality and don't want to communicate about it. From what I've heard men and women say, it sounds like a lot of people seem to think really lousy sex (or worse) is the norm. Maybe it is?
was it something I said?