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Author Topic: Friends  (Read 517 times)

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Offline El

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Re: Friends
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2009, 08:03:02 AM »
My most recent ex was an extrovert; by comparison I felt like a recluse.  I figured out after awhile that there were a few things at play that were masking how many "friends" he had- like counting people he hadn't seen in years as "friends" or "buddies" of his if there hadn't been a specific falling out, or counting friendly acquaintances as friends.  He was talking about a mutual friend of ours once and said, offhand, "...who you call your friend even though she's not really your friend..."  I'm pretty sure on some level he was trying to be a dick (I think he wanted to drag my self-esteem down to where his was), but I don't think he knew that would actually have me in tears.  At the time I hadn't realized that he sort of cheated in the way he counted friends, too.

I have a friend sort of like your ex, although probably much more extroverted. I feel like a total recluse when I am hanging out with him, because he is really into socializing and likes to brag on about all these 'mates' of his. When in reality he only has a handful of 'real' friends, including his best friend whom are 'joined at the hip' so to speak.

Him being an extreme extrovert is tiring on me and it does not help he lives alone. Since his girlfriend lives in Queensland and he visits her only every so often. As a result he bombards his friends (including me) with requests to catch up over coffee or have lunch or see a movie or go to a pub or nightclub on I dare say alarmingly frequent basis. I am very reluctant to give out my address to him, because I fear he would want to come around to my place more often than I want.

One of those extreme extroverts who's scared of being alone?
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Re: Friends
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2009, 08:08:10 AM »
As a result he bombards his friends (including me) with requests to catch up over coffee or have lunch or see a movie or go to a pub or nightclub on I dare say alarmingly frequent basis.

Oh dear, I am like that :aff:

Offline Peter

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Re: Friends
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2009, 10:26:07 AM »
It's pretty much just me, my dog and my mum.

I hung out with the 'weirdo' group at school from about the age of 14-17, and went to a handful of house parties held by members of that group, but I didn't integrate into the group particularly well and always felt like an outsider who's presence was tolerated.  There was one guy in the group who I was fairly friendly with, and we ended up at the same university, so we went to various events at the student union together and he introduced me to people he knew, but he dropped out after his first year, got a job, a girlfriend, and didn't really have anything to do with me after that.

I also joined the Board of Management for the student union in my first year and spent a lot of time there interacting with people, doing volunteer work and trying to forge social connections.  Although people liked me well enough, I never really formed friendships with anyone, and again felt like an outside who's presence was tolerated.

I didn't have much to do with people for a couple of years after that, but eventually I started talking to people online and was fairly successful at building up some online friendships, and met up with various people who lived locally, with considerably less success.  For a few years I talked to people on a daily basis through IM's, and would make regular attempts to find local people to meet up with, but I've not had much interest in those things since about a year ago; I barely use IM's these days, I've not been meeting people IRL, and this website, my dog and my mum have been my only significant sources of social interaction for quite some time now.
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14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Untermensch

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Re: Friends
« Reply #18 on: September 18, 2009, 07:17:32 PM »

One of those extreme extroverts who's scared of being alone?

Yes
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
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Offline Untermensch

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Re: Friends
« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2009, 01:22:27 AM »
As a result he bombards his friends (including me) with requests to catch up over coffee or have lunch or see a movie or go to a pub or nightclub on I dare say alarmingly frequent basis.

Oh dear, I am like that :aff:

Hey if it was you bombarding me with such requests, I would not mind at all ;)
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
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Offline Natalia Evans

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Re: Friends
« Reply #20 on: September 19, 2009, 01:35:06 AM »
Just my husband and a few acquaintances in the aspie groups and AB/DL.

Frolic_Fun

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Re: Friends
« Reply #21 on: September 19, 2009, 03:01:23 AM »
For a while I had none since I left school. Now I've 2-3, 1 which I regularly talk to. I could easily go without any friends though, I love solitary. Emma's not counted, she's more than a friend.

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Re: Friends
« Reply #22 on: September 19, 2009, 07:26:12 AM »
As a result he bombards his friends (including me) with requests to catch up over coffee or have lunch or see a movie or go to a pub or nightclub on I dare say alarmingly frequent basis.

Oh dear, I am like that :aff:

Hey if it was you bombarding me with such requests, I would not mind at all ;)

 :laugh:

Offline renaeden

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Re: Friends
« Reply #23 on: September 20, 2009, 09:25:51 AM »
I have a friend that I met in hospital in 2005/6. I see her a few times a year. I know someone at uni who is in one of my lectures. Maybe she is not my friend but she is the only person that talks to me.
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