INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Parts on April 23, 2008, 11:47:15 AM
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Penis theft panic hits city..
By Joe Bavier 37 minutes ago
Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.
Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.
"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.
"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.
Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.
"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.
(Editing by Nick Tattersall and Mary Gabriel)
:zoinks:
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Penis panic is a disturbingly common phenomenon.
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Yes, it's quite scary the things men in third world countries (and first world ones too for all I know) will do to themselves in order to prevent it.
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Wow.
All I could think of when the ex started running around was possibly painting it green when he passed out.
Where's a damn socerer when you need one?
:toy:
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Wow.
All I could think of when the ex started running around was possibly painting it green when he passed out.
Where's a damn socerer when you need one?
:toy:
:LMAO:
Did you ever actually do it?
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They are blaming their small penises on magic users. Very lol.
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Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
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:lol:
Monty Python :pinkbeat:
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Penis theft panic hits city..
By Joe Bavier 37 minutes ago
Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.
Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.
"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.
"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.
Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.
"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.
(Editing by Nick Tattersall and Mary Gabriel)
:zoinks:
Once, I went into a big city.
And a very pretty but very painted girl came up and started to talk to me. (I think she was a witch too) because at first, what she said caused my penis to grow and I got scared. Then she said if I gave her money, she could take care of it!
So we went into a back alley way and I gave her money and she got busy and made my penis dissapear and I became impotent! (when she was done, I couldn't even shoot a load of dust).
Luckily, the effects were only temporary (she must not have been a very powerfull witch). Because the next day, my penis came back, and I was no longer impotent.
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Came close, had the color picked out even, "billard green". You can never get them to sleep soundly when you want them too though. :lol:
Wow.
All I could think of when the ex started running around was possibly painting it green when he passed out.
Where's a damn socerer when you need one?
:toy:
:LMAO:
Did you ever actually do it?
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Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
i'm taking that personally. >:(
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Came close, had the color picked out even, "billard green". You can never get them to sleep soundly when you want them too though. :lol:
I was picturing a green Sharpie marker, actually. It would not wash off. He would have to wear it off. Wouldn't that be fun for him to explain to his girlfriend?
:laugh:
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LOL @ this thread
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There are a lot of fucking stupid people in this world
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Came close, had the color picked out even, "billard green". You can never get them to sleep soundly when you want them too though. :lol:
I was picturing a green Sharpie marker, actually. It would not wash off. He would have to wear it off. Wouldn't that be fun for him to explain to his girlfriend?
:laugh:
Damn. Now why didn't I think of that? I could have wrote something really good on there too. :lol:
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Came close, had the color picked out even, "billard green". You can never get them to sleep soundly when you want them too though. :lol:
I was picturing a green Sharpie marker, actually. It would not wash off. He would have to wear it off. Wouldn't that be fun for him to explain to his girlfriend?
:laugh:
Damn. Now why didn't I think of that? I could have wrote something really good on there too. :lol:
I know. Too bad that you didn't.
:LMAO:
I know how to get fingernail polish off delicate skin, since my daughter painted herself thoroughly down in the diaper area when she was a baby.
You cover the skin in Crisco, vaseline, baby oil, or something like that, then set the kid down in a tub of warm water and let them soak. After awhile, it softens and then you can gently rub it off.
That does not work for Sharpie marker drawings on skin, though.
:evillaugh:
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They fade in a few days, though, especially if you shower and rub at the area.
I used to do fake tattoos on people with sharpies when I worked as a caricature artist.