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Start here => Free For ALL => Topic started by: Calandale on January 19, 2008, 07:17:54 PM

Title: George Carlin
Post by: Calandale on January 19, 2008, 07:17:54 PM
Pissed me off with a question
which has troubled me forever:

"why do we drive on parkways
and park on driveways?"


Why the fuck did I have to hear this?

I don't think I can die, without knowing
the answer.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Soph on January 19, 2008, 09:00:43 PM
didn't he make the lean mean fat grilling machine?

you have to drive onto the drive to park
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Alex179 on January 19, 2008, 09:13:39 PM
didn't he make the lean mean fat grilling machine?

you have to drive onto the drive to park
Rofl no that is George Foreman the boxer.

Carlin is a stand up comedian, a great one at that.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Calandale on January 19, 2008, 09:23:34 PM
Foreman was a pretty good comedian too though.  :laugh:
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Soph on January 19, 2008, 09:24:07 PM
oh yeah i remember the name now  :laugh:
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Alex179 on January 19, 2008, 09:27:06 PM
Foreman was a pretty good comedian too though.  :laugh:
Damn funny personality as a boxer.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: vodz on January 19, 2008, 09:32:02 PM
What's a parkway?

There's an Aussie metalcore band called Parkway Drive.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Alex179 on January 19, 2008, 09:35:21 PM
What's a parkway?

There's an Aussie metalcore band called Parkway Drive.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkway

Limited access highways.   They are usually large roads built for higher speeds than normal city traffic.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Parts on January 19, 2008, 09:38:04 PM
What's a parkway?

There's an Aussie metalcore band called Parkway Drive.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkway

Limited access highways.   They are usually large roads built for higher speeds than normal city traffic.

Around here in the NYC metro area they are meant for passenger cars only
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Alex179 on January 19, 2008, 09:42:09 PM
What's a parkway?

There's an Aussie metalcore band called Parkway Drive.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkway

Limited access highways.   They are usually large roads built for higher speeds than normal city traffic.

Around here in the NYC metro area they are meant for passenger cars only
Like a carpool lane.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: DirtDawg on January 19, 2008, 09:59:26 PM
Some of my favorites from Carlin ...

"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."


"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."


"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."


"I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed."


“Meow” means “woof” in cat."


Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck."


I think I am, therefore, I am. I think."
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: ozymandias on January 19, 2008, 10:04:31 PM
Some of my favorites from Carlin ...

"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."


"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."


"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."


"I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed."


“Meow” means “woof” in cat."


Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck."


I think I am, therefore, I am. I think."

George Carlin is one of the few comedians who can have me rolling on the floor laughing so hard I cry!   :laugh:  The way he can take the absurdities of life and present them is brilliant.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Al Swearegen on January 19, 2008, 11:35:49 PM
He was brilliant in his own right. Bit pits and all on the Jay and Silent Bob movies. This was my first exposure to the bloke. I then tried to find out who this funny prick was. You are right he is classy.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: maldoror on January 20, 2008, 01:22:52 AM
You park in a garage and drive up a driveway. Parkways go through parks.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Phlexor on January 20, 2008, 05:36:03 AM
didn't he make the lean mean fat grilling machine?

you have to drive onto the drive to park
Rofl no that is George Foreman the boxer.

Carlin is a stand up comedian, a great one at that.

Did you know that George Foreman doesn't have and fingerprints.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Calandale on January 20, 2008, 07:01:59 AM
All that grilling.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Alex179 on January 21, 2008, 09:50:47 AM
didn't he make the lean mean fat grilling machine?

you have to drive onto the drive to park
Rofl no that is George Foreman the boxer.

Carlin is a stand up comedian, a great one at that.

Did you know that George Foreman doesn't have and fingerprints.
I didn't notice when I shook his hand, though his hand is massive.   He was at the local bookstore signing his biography and other assorted crap.   Me and my brother got his autograph.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Tesla on January 23, 2008, 08:24:17 AM
Quote
A parkway is defined by the Random House dictionary as “a broad thoroughfare with a dividing strip or side strips planted with grass, trees, etc.” First defined in the 1880s, it’s an Americanism that has confused many. After all, you don’t park on the parkway. Instead, it’s a “way” with “a park,” the aforementioned “side strips planted with grass, trees.”

But what about the driveway -- don’t most people just park on them? Technically, a driveway is more than just a parking lot. Our dictionary gave two definitions; “1. a road, esp. a private one, leading from a street or other thoroughfare to a building, house, garage, etc.” and “2. any road for driving on.” This term, then, is another Americanism combined from “drive” and “way,” that was formed 20 years previous to the parkway, in the 1860’s.

How about this one then...

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: DirtDawg on January 23, 2008, 09:45:18 AM

I like it.

Maybe we also need a Steven Wright thread. He's another funny word player.

Example:

"How the hell can a door be ajar?"
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Dexter Morgan on January 31, 2008, 09:44:12 PM
There's a reason they call it the "American Dream."  Because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: renaeden on January 31, 2008, 10:53:15 PM
Why do they call a building a building after the building has been finished?
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Dexter Morgan on February 03, 2008, 04:42:23 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u6lCBnRoHQ
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Calandale on February 03, 2008, 05:28:10 PM
He's right. Well, other than the not
complaining. Not voting says that
one is happy with whatever happens.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Phlexor on February 03, 2008, 05:48:07 PM
Not voting also means you believe its going to suck no matter who gets in, so why bother wasting your time.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Calandale on February 03, 2008, 05:49:46 PM
Whatever. It's an apathy condition.
Not a statement. Well, in the US.
Some places, not voting is the best
you can actually do to protest.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Phlexor on February 03, 2008, 06:08:48 PM
I've gots mad skillz in apathy when it comes to voting. At least in the U.S. you can get away with not voting. Here in Australia you can get in trouble. I could get fined a bit if they catch up with me. Good thing I avoid being enrolled to vote.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Tesla on February 03, 2008, 06:14:47 PM
Mildly related to George Carlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6oeB8B2MY0
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Calandale on February 03, 2008, 06:16:15 PM
I've gots mad skillz in apathy when it comes to voting. At least in the U.S. you can get away with not voting. Here in Australia you can get in trouble. I could get fined a bit if they catch up with me. Good thing I avoid being enrolled to vote.

Yep. Kinda like most totalitarian societies.
They take away guns, force you to vote,
ugly shit.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Phlexor on February 03, 2008, 06:53:19 PM
As long as they dont take my toy lightsaber away, I dont care.

At least I dont get shot for holding something that may resemble a gun, like say a badger or whatever passes for looking like a gun these days. I could get lucky and only get tazzed.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Calandale on February 03, 2008, 06:55:16 PM
Yeah. I was pissed as hell when
they started making toy guns look
like crap here.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Phlexor on February 03, 2008, 07:00:01 PM
Obviously it was done so no one would mistake them for real guns, which is sad when a man can got shot for pulling out his wallet or holding a mobile phone.

It just another case of ppl who think they know whats better for everyone else and forcing their opinion down everyone throat I guess.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: richard on February 04, 2008, 09:42:50 AM
Pissed me off with a question
which has troubled me forever:

"why do we drive on parkways
and park on driveways?"


Why the fuck did I have to hear this?

I don't think I can die, without knowing
the answer.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 :plus:
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Dexter Morgan on March 02, 2008, 09:08:09 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: ozymandias on March 03, 2008, 11:50:16 AM
I love George Carlin's style of humor!   :laugh:  :plus:
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: richard on March 03, 2008, 12:12:03 PM
I love George Carlin's style of humor!   :laugh:  :plus:
yep dudes funny as hell
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Yuri Bezmenov on December 30, 2016, 11:07:45 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsL6mKxtOlQ
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Gopher Gary on December 31, 2016, 06:36:05 AM
I never thought Carlin should have been called a comedian. He's a great social commentator, but I don't go to comedy shows to be depressed.  :lol1:
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Phallacy on December 31, 2016, 04:30:02 PM
Kinda ironic for right wingers to be fans of George Carlin. They should be LOVING the state of things right now. Every government in the world is being taken over by fascists. Australia, Canada, UK, and now the USA.
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Gopher Gary on December 31, 2016, 06:57:15 PM
Kinda ironic for right wingers to be fans of George Carlin.

Who are you talking about.  :zoinks:
Title: Re: George Carlin
Post by: Bastet on December 31, 2016, 07:03:10 PM
Stop liking things that I like!   :hahaha: