INTENSITY²
Start here => Free For ALL => Topic started by: Natalia Evans on December 02, 2007, 03:28:17 AM
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I can't believe how excited I am. I check my myspace page because someone online asked for my url to it so I go there and see I have a new message and new friends request and I see its from Ana (last name) and i click on it and read it and she says its her and she went to my school and told me how excited she was to find me and told me she had been thinking about me over the years. She was on of my few friends I had in school.
I have always wanted to meet my old school mates, even the ones who were mean to me. Well it was over 10 years ago and they were children then so maybe they have changed now.
I hope I meet more on there. I have a few of my high school mates on my friend's page.
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That's cool :)
I somehow unconsciously planned for the end of school by setting up an email list for me and my friends, so we've been on constant contact since. MySpace and Facebook I suppose do serve a similar purpose.
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Facebook has some nice tools which
allow you to connect to everyone whose
e-mail is registered with them that you have.
Or to search out those from your graduating class.
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i found plenty of people on facebook. but i didn't talk to them. :(
i'm glad you found your friend, Spokane. :)
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i found plenty of people on facebook. but i didn't talk to them. :(
I didn't find anyone that I didn't already have a
contact with, whom I wanted to talk to.
Myspace, on the other hand, was filled with
people I wanted to say hi to. Bands mainly.
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ive found quite a few people from school on myspace and facebook. my best friend from primary school and high school added me recently, so i've talked to her quite a lot. she lives somewhere else now and has a girlfriend.
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I've got a Facebook account, and people I've known since my childhood days seem to add me on their friends list, which is nice; however, they don't seem to initiate any major discussions with me. I wonder if they add me simply because they have a complex over how many people they've known on their Facebook pages? :|
"Omg, omg, I have 100 friends!"
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people used to add me all the time on myspace just to do that. who gives a fuck how many "friends" they have?
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I've got a Facebook account, and people I've known since my childhood days seem to add me on their friends list, which is nice; however, they don't seem to initiate any major discussions with me. I wonder if they add me simply because they have a complex over how many people they've known on their Facebook pages? :|
"Omg, omg, I have 100 friends!"
or they're shy.
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people used to add me all the time on myspace just to do that. who gives a fuck how many "friends" they have?
it's cooler to have a handful of friends. :P
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i have no friends. is that cool? :P
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i have no friends. is that cool? :P
No, it's a shit situation, because people at your university are taking you for granted.
You will find people other than Starbuline. Trust me.
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there's plenty of cool people for you to meet Soph. :) you have to find them, is all. there might be someone in your school that likes you but is too shy or something to say anything.
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there's one girl who's in all my lectures and talks to me sometimes, but i always fuck it up :P
she's the only one out of hundreds of people who ever talks to me lol
i can't see myself ever finding anyone other than starbuline though. it took me 18 years to find her. another 18 years and i'll be nearly 40. i dunno if i can be arsed waiting that long.
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Do they give you more hits on Facebook if you registrar? I only saw one person I remember from collage and he was an ass without registering
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how can you search without registering? i had to get an account to see anyone, and even then i can't see their profiles if they don't friend me.
Soph, it won't take another 18 years. :-* i promise. :)
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how can you search without registering? i had to get an account to see anyone, and even then i can't see their profiles if they don't friend me.
Soph, it won't take another 18 years. :-* i promise. :)
Some searches they say are restricted and you can't look at the profiles. I haven't seen anyone from high school in over twenty years
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i haven't seen most of my school friends in 10 years. i saw my old best friends' pictures, bummed me out.
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people can hide their profile to certain people, so that people can only view it if they live in their area or went to their school or something. so if you searched for them and they did that, you'd have to add them as a friend first or something. i dunno. something like that...
all my old school people on there keep posting pictures of when they went out at the weekend with all their friends and stuff. very depressing lol
and i think it will take much more than 18 years :laugh:
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I didn't have many friends in high school and the collage I first went to I only found one and I never liked him
I checked by school
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i don't want them to recognize me so i made a fake name and claimed to be canadian. :-\ i can't contact them or friend them. i'd just feel stupid. they are much better than me. i only added my best friend.
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why would they be better than you?
i should have used a fake name on mine
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they just are. they're normal and i was always the freak. the longer i was out of touch with them the harder it became to even think of contacting them. they'd probably think of me as that freak they used to know.
my best friend still knows me so it's different. lol.
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but freaks are cool :P
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Normal people are boring and live boring normal lives what fun is that?
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I don't have my real named entered either. I tried it once on a different profile and I added a bunch of my friends and I just felt naked and lame. I have about three of my IRL friends on mine now and I even sort of regret that.
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i feel naked too. i never use my real name online.
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Closest thing I go to using my name online is EMT, Beth or Elizabeth. I don't see why people are so paranoid about people knowing their names. Just as long as they don't give out their last name or any other personal information such as their phone number or address, card number, PIN number, etc, they should be fine.
As a kid I used my nick and lack name and that was a dumb thing of me to do but lot of teens do that because they're naive about it. It's amazing how I've heard about teens giving out their first and last name, their address, name of their school, their hometown, etc. After hearing and reading what has happened to them, I knew what information to give out but I don't have a problem giving out what city I live in. No one can't find my residence here if they don't know my phone number or last name.
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there's one girl who's in all my lectures and talks to me sometimes, but i always fuck it up :P
she's the only one out of hundreds of people who ever talks to me lol
i can't see myself ever finding anyone other than starbuline though. it took me 18 years to find her. another 18 years and i'll be nearly 40. i dunno if i can be arsed waiting that long.
It's not how long it took YOU to
find someone, so much as how long
it took you to become someone findable.
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:agreed:
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i found sophie though.
although she spoke to me first. :)
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people find each other in mysterious ways. :)
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All that I know is that around your age,
I found people a lot easier to meet and
like, than I have at any other time in my
life. College helps. Though, living at home
probably hurts that. Shaking things up
(along with being miserable) seems good.
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All that I know is that around your age,
I found people a lot easier to meet and
like, than I have at any other time in my
life. College helps. Though, living at home
probably hurts that. Shaking things up
(along with being miserable) seems good.
yes, i love being miserable :P
it's harder for me to meet people now because no one's interested in talking to me lol. there are no more starbulines :( i miss her
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I know. Everything seems like a "last chance"
to me, these days. But, at your age, it shouldn't
be that way.
And, loving misery is NOT what I meant. I meant
that when my situation is miserable enough that I
CAN'T just stay at home and rot, I get out and do
things. End up making friends, sometimes.
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the only place i really go is the museum. and it's just groups of schoolkids and families bringing their children. i saw some emos in there the other day though lol
i wish i could go back to not giving a shit. then i could be happy with having axolotls and frogs as my friends.
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Happy's a strong word. Really, you
just didn't know any better. Now,
you've had a taste of love. You'll
find more.
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i doubt it. i want starbuline to come back. i'm shit without her.
she would be sad if i found another friend i loved as much as her.
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She cares about you. She wouldn't
be sad.
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i think she would pretend she wasn't so that i would still find another friend, but she would still be sad. she said she didn't want to be 'abandoned.' if she got sad just from people talking to me at uni, im scared she'd be sad about me finding another friend. i don't want her to be sad.
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I think that there's an inherent difference.
And yes, she WAS jealous, but crossing into
death makes things different.
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i want to give her a hug
and some lucozade
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Do so. Even if it's just for you.
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i think i am crazy though. i talk to her sometimes when shes not even here. but then i talk to myself all the time so that's nothing new. and she hasnt read any of my PMs. i wish she had come online before she did it. i guess she thought i'd call her dad or something though and fuck it up for her. i never got to say goodbye to her though. she never said anything before she did it. i know she thought about me at least once when she did it because of the note she left but she never came and spoke to me.
i ordered some DVDs off amazon the other day and i got the one she told her mom she was watching on the 24th, so that her mom didnt get there till 5:30 (she wasnt meant to pick her up at 3), i'm going to watch it when i get it. i guess she never actually watched it though. and i bought the book she was reading. i havent got it yet though. she kept telling me how much the character in it was like me. i think im half hoping i will get some answers from reading it, but i doubt i will. she did keep saying it though during the last few weeks.
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i think i am crazy though.
Of course you are. Don't worry about it. :angel:
i talk to her sometimes when shes not even here. but then i talk to myself all the time so that's nothing new. and she hasnt read any of my PMs.
Trying to reach out to her is right though.
i wish she had come online before she did it.
Hell yes. I can't believe she didn't give a try.
I feel betrayed that she didn't. But, glad in a
sense, because I wouldn't have done a damned
thing to stop her. Well, no more than I was doing,
which wouldn't have been enough, I guess. Though
maybe, just maybe, I would have been willing to go
visit, if I thought that would help.
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i cant understand why she didnt. i know she would have just thought somoene would try to stop her or she'd start feeling guilty and put it off or something, but not even to say goodbye though. i cant even remember the last thing she ever said to me because i was half asleep and msn had broken so i dont have chatlogs from the last week she was here. she wanted me to help her and make it better and i couldnt. and she hardly ever believed me when i tried to convince her that i loved her and that her family loved her and stuff. i know she knew i loved her, but she never believed it as much as i told her. i dont know why though. she knows i would never have done anything bad or lied to her, but she still didnt trust me. she didnt trust michael either. i wish she did. i would have done anything for her. i think the only thing that could have helped that she wanted me to do was go there, and thats the one thing i didnt do. her dad said she kept saying how she felt 'so alone' , but i wasnt there for her. even online i kept falling asleep and then i wouldnt be there to reply on msn and she'd get sad. she might have thought i didnt care or i forgot about her or something
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You can never really see inside someone else's head. You did what you could. The whole situation is a very sad one I wish I knew how to make you feel better other than tell you it's not your fault. Try and remember the good things and not dwell on the bad. I know it's a rut we all can get stuck in but I think you can make it out. And remember it's leap year in 2096
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:laugh:
its also a leapyear in 2008 lol
i am trying to focus on good memories, but it's hard. i'm not a very strong person, so i'm terrible at coping with this, but i can only do my best i guess
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You said you would pass on 2008 let's keep our word now
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She told me that she trusted me though.
I thought she knew enough, to realize
that I'd not betray her. I'd try to stop her,
but I'd never have gone beyond convincing.
Still, maybe she knew enough to realize that
NOT doing anything, yet knowing, would have
hurt. But fuck, offing herself hurt too.
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yeah she trusted you i think, but she didnt trust me or michael and i dont know why. that was part of the reason me and him had that massive argument a few months ago - i just heard the bad side all the time because sophie didn't trust him. sometimes i thought she did trust me, and she said she did. but then i don't think she did 100%. she had no self esteem so she found it difficult to accept that we loved her as much as we did. i hope she did know it. she said once that she didnt think anyone loved her as much as i did, which at least shows she knew i did, but then its bad because she didnt realise how much everyone else did. she had no idea all this would happen. she told me once i wouldnt find out if she died. i tried telling her how fucked up it would make me but she said that it wouldnt be the end of the world and id get over it. i wont ever get over this.
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No. You won't get over it. But, you can still
heal.
As to trust, you yourself admitted you might
have called her dad about it. Hell, I don't KNOW
that I wouldn't, but I'm pretty damned sure I
wouldn't have. But, I might just have been able
to make her promise not to, until I got a chance
to come down and talk to her. I don't know how
much good that would have done, but I tend to
believe that I can do miracles.
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yeah. i never really thought about it that way. i knew i would never have hurt her or do anything bad to her, so i didnt understand why she didnt trust us. but yeah, i would have done things she didnt want me to do if i thought it was best for her, so maybe that explains it a bit. she would have done that too though, i got really depressed once and she looked up the police numbers where i live (was before we had each others phone numbers, luckily, as she might have called my mum lol). i wish i had known this was going to happen though. i keep thinking it through in my head how i could have called her mom or her dad or even her school or something, and got them to go and find her. but i think i should stop doing that as it doesnt solve anything. i regret so much though.
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Yeah. I wish I'd've known too.
I would have played things differently.
I was always afraid. Afraid she'd get hooked.
But, if I KNEW that I could prevent it that
way, yeah, I would have.
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i doubt it. i want starbuline to come back. i'm shit without her.
she would be sad if i found another friend i loved as much as her.
she would have been sad but now she's up in the clouds so to speak so she would want you to find a friend now. i'm sure. love is all different flavours, and Starbuline was a unique flavor. but you will find other flavored friends that will fill the friendship hole, just not the Starbuline shaped hole. i think she knows she won't be abandoned if you find a new friend. it will be a different friend and different friendship. does that make sense to anyone but me? :P
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i doubt it. i want starbuline to come back. i'm shit without her.
she would be sad if i found another friend i loved as much as her.
she would have been sad but now she's up in the clouds so to speak so she would want you to find a friend now. i'm sure. love is all different flavours, and Starbuline was a unique flavor. but you will find other flavored friends that will fill the friendship hole, just not the Starbuline shaped hole. i think she knows she won't be abandoned if you find a new friend. it will be a different friend and different friendship. does that make sense to anyone but me? :P
It makes loads of sense to me. I :plus: you for it.
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i think it makes sense to me as well. that's probably a bad thing though- i'm crazy :laugh:
i hope if she was still there somewhere she knows i wouldn't be replacing her. things would all be ok if she was still here. we could get schmoo and flo and sit watching movies and listening to music all day. and she would get to drink lucozade 8)
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i'm crazy too so it evens out. :laugh: and thanks renaeden, looks like you're crazy too. :laugh:
i like your fish Soph. 8)
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I miss her fish.
I wish she'd slip me the fish.
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mmm fish.
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Tuna taco.
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i should have left the tuna fish forum up :(
i saw fishies today... at the museum lol
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Fishies are yummy.
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you can put the tuna fish forum back though.
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Not really worth it, now.