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Start here => M.O.-Introductions => Topic started by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 02:21:54 AM

Title: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 02:21:54 AM
I was directed here by a close friend and member of the boards because, she says, I have social problems, similar to people on here.

I had to wonder though, since 99.9% of humans, tend to irritate me profusely, would being on here really be any use? Probably not, but who gives a shit.

My name is Kenny Lingus, I'm 28, , write my own music, play guitar, drink Jack Daniels, watch crap horror and comedy films, listen to metal music although I'm open minded and can embrace a lot of different stuff. I also want a fine collection of swords and daggers but the fucking bank won't give me Maestro on my card. And I'm a handsome big twat as well.

Oh, if you've ever packed bags in shops for people, leave me alone.

 ;)
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: duncvis on June 06, 2006, 03:28:01 AM
Looks like you'll fit in here then. Or not. We don't care really. ;)

99.9% of people irritate some of us too *cough*PEEGAI*cough* which is how this site came about, cos we tend to get booted out of other aspie sites. :angel:
You're allowed to be a cunt here - check out Happeh's posts and you'll see what I mean. As for metal, if you're a normal, mentally well adjusted metalhead, rather than "TR00 BLACK METAL" welcome - I hate those silly cunts, most of them seem to have shit for brains...

so WeLcOmE To InTeNsItY?...
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 03:46:40 AM
Thanks for the welcome :)

Black metal is nothing but a fucking mush of noise which I have no time for.

Heaviest bands I'm into are Death and Obituary, but even Obituary I can take or leave. It's important to be into a shitload of different styles of music I think as there's more too many shades to the soul that not all forms of music get near. Clannad don't have the same effect on me that Helloween or Raunchy does, and Underworld don't get me in the mood for a drink the way Thin Lizzy does.....aaaaand when in a reflective mood I'll stick on some acoustic folky stuff like Gallagherr and Lyle...blergh, rambling now.

No plans on being a cunt either as it's much like holding a midgets bottle of Pepsi above your head and watching them jump up for it, fun at first, but you get bored after a while. I don't bully midgets by the way...honest!

;)

Thanks again!
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: McGiver on June 06, 2006, 03:53:47 AM
hi kenny,
my name is Dick Enya!
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 03:59:45 AM
You'd think I'd made my second name up for a laugh!  ;)

Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: McGiver on June 06, 2006, 04:19:25 AM
nope.

i have a friend named Phillip Michael Hunt

we call him Phil Mike Hunt
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 04:40:16 AM
Everytime I see the title of this thread I have The Ballad Of Chasey Lain playing in my head  :D  Yes its a random, pointless fact- but welcome to the board :)
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: McGiver on June 06, 2006, 04:49:29 AM
do you know anything about the history of judge red?

i am basing this on your larger that life writing style, where your words just jump through the monitor, right at you.
i havent check the IP or anything, i'm no good at whois either.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Lucifer on June 06, 2006, 05:46:11 AM
I don't bully midgets by the way...honest!

why not?
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: McGiver on June 06, 2006, 05:51:45 AM
did you know that in Las Vegas, in one of the fancier hotels, you can request some midget prostitutes from the concierge, and they will meet your needs.

yes, everysingle one of my friends had their bachelor party in vegas.
my vegas experiences alone, are enough to fill a rich, full life.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Merry Widow on June 06, 2006, 06:09:26 AM
i have a friend whose name is Isaac Lock. it could've been worse - his name could've been Isaac Cox.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 06:41:22 AM
More randomly is that the first person to successfully recieve "compensation" from a government (after taking them to court for failing to provide him with a job) was a Polish guy called Kristov Girocek.

His actions in 1954 then led to a whole new system where governments had to then give a set amount of money to the person for each week he was out of work. And now we all have what's commonly known as the Gyro Cheque, named after Kristov Girocek himself.

And that, my friends, is science FACT!!!

So thumbs up to Kristov, if it wasn't for you, mate, I wouldn't have mastered the Toyota Supra in Gran Turismo for the Playstation during all those painfully frustrating years I was unemployed.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Pyraxis on June 06, 2006, 07:38:41 AM
Oooh, fresh meat. That makes me happy.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 10:09:26 AM
I was directed here by a close friend and member of the boards because, she says, I have social problems, similar to people on here.

I had to wonder though, since 99.9% of humans, tend to irritate me profusely, would being on here really be any use? Probably not, but who gives a shit.

My name is Kenny Lingus, I'm 28, , write my own music, play guitar, drink Jack Daniels, watch crap horror and comedy films, listen to metal music although I'm open minded and can embrace a lot of different stuff. I also want a fine collection of swords and daggers but the fucking bank won't give me Maestro on my card. And I'm a handsome big twat as well.

Oh, if you've ever packed bags in shops for people, leave me alone.

 ;)


Hi, you must be a friend of HG. :)

Looks like you'll fit in here then. Or not. We don't care really. ;)

99.9% of people irritate some of us too *cough*PEEGAI*cough* which is how this site came about, cos we tend to get booted out of other aspie sites. :angel:
You're allowed to be a cunt here - check out Happeh's posts and you'll see what I mean. As for metal, if you're a normal, mentally well adjusted metalhead, rather than "TR00 BLACK METAL" welcome - I hate those silly cunts, most of them seem to have shit for brains...

so WeLcOmE To InTeNsItY?...

Ignore him. He loves me really.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 10:10:43 AM
Is that Vic Reeves in your avatar?
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: duncvis on June 06, 2006, 10:23:27 AM
99.9% of people irritate some of us too *cough*PEEGAI*cough*

Ignore him. He loves me really.

I meant almost everyone irritates you, you muppet. :P 

Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 10:27:48 AM
99.9% of people irritate some of us too *cough*PEEGAI*cough*

Ignore him. He loves me really.

I meant almost everyone irritates you, you muppet. :P 



I am a muppet, yes. A proud one at that!

Here's what I would like to die:

Happy couples
Happy people
Happy self-righteous people
Happy music
Happy friends

Anything that is fucking care-bear happy must die.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 10:28:46 AM
99.9% of people irritate some of us too *cough*PEEGAI*cough*

Ignore him. He loves me really.

I meant almost everyone irritates you, you muppet. :P Although to be fair you irritate them too, so its a circle jerk. :laugh:

And what about us females- do we just have to watch? ;)
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 10:30:37 AM
99.9% of people irritate some of us too *cough*PEEGAI*cough*

Ignore him. He loves me really.

I meant almost everyone irritates you, you muppet. :P 




I am a muppet, yes. A proud one at that!
.

But the real question is which muppet are you??

http://quizilla.com/users/SummerSCSA/quizzes/Which%20Muppet%20are%20You%3F
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 10:33:33 AM
99.9% of people irritate some of us too *cough*PEEGAI*cough*

Ignore him. He loves me really.

I meant almost everyone irritates you, you muppet. :P 




I am a muppet, yes. A proud one at that!
.

But the real question is which muppet are you??

http://quizilla.com/users/SummerSCSA/quizzes/Which%20Muppet%20are%20You%3F


(http://images.quizilla.com/S/SummerSCSA/1036985863_turesgonzo.jpg)

I am Gonzo. Fear.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 10:36:28 AM

 



(http://images.quizilla.com/S/SummerSCSA/1036985863_turesgonzo.jpg)

I am Gonzo. Fear.
Quote

Does anyone else find his nose disturbingly phallic in some bizare, twisted way??
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 10:38:16 AM

 



(http://images.quizilla.com/S/SummerSCSA/1036985863_turesgonzo.jpg)

I am Gonzo. Fear.
Quote

Does anyone else find his nose disturbingly phallic in some bizare, twisted way??

It's an accurate representation of mine, although it's not John Holmes worthy.

And now you people know the secret of my arrogance. :p
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 10:40:33 AM

 



(http://images.quizilla.com/S/SummerSCSA/1036985863_turesgonzo.jpg)

I am Gonzo. Fear.
Quote

Does anyone else find his nose disturbingly phallic in some bizare, twisted way??

It's an accurate representation of mine, although it's not John Holmes worthy.

I had to google him- damn that's scary- I wish I hadn't bothered  :-X
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Callaway on June 06, 2006, 10:41:41 AM
I think he died of AIDS.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 10:42:41 AM
I think he died of AIDS.

Yep- he did in '88
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 10:43:41 AM
I think he died of AIDS.

Yep- he did in '88

Should've thought with his brain instead of his big dick.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 10:45:00 AM
I think he died of AIDS.

Yep- he did in '88

Should've thought with his brain instead of his big dick.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

But in all fairness since he spent so much time fucking- there wouldn't have often been a lot of bloodflow to his brain  :D
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 10:46:13 AM
I think he died of AIDS.

Yep- he did in '88

Should've thought with his brain instead of his big dick.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

But in all fairness since he spent so much time fucking- there wouldn't have often been a lot of bloodflow to his brain  :D

Pretty much like the King Ant of the Ant kingdom -- he's just good for fucking the queen.

Lucky bastard.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 10:50:23 AM
Aye, I'm a mate of HG's...how did you guess?

Plus to answer someone else, yes it's Vic Reeves in my avatar. Probably his best character to date I think. Kinky John Fowler, the club compere in Bang Bang It's Reeves and Mortimer...funny as fuck! :D
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 11:01:27 AM
Aye, I'm a mate of HG's...how did you guess?

Plus to answer someone else, yes it's Vic Reeves in my avatar. Probably his best character to date I think. Kinky John Fowler, the club compere in Bang Bang It's Reeves and Mortimer...funny as fuck! :D

I couldn't tell if it was that or the detective character he played in Catterick- although I just remembered he had a mustache for that one.

I still think Vic Reeve's big night out was the best.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 11:06:54 AM
He used him again for Catterick aye. I watched Catterick from start to finish last weekend as I missed most of it when it was originally shown on TV. And "American style detective" John Fowler (the American Eagle) was the best in that too!

"there were no fingerprints found at the scene of the crime, from this I deduced that the murderer had no hands....or was a giant insect"  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Big Night Out wasn't up to much. My brother bought most of the Reeves and Mortimer stuff, including Monkey Trousers, and I think Big Night Out is the wrost out the lot, they appear to be trying too hard, still laugh now and then at it though lol.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: purposefulinsanity on June 06, 2006, 11:12:50 AM
He used him again for Catterick aye. I watched Catterick from start to finish last weekend as I missed most of it when it was originally shown on TV. And "American style detective" John Fowler (the American Eagle) was the best in that too!

"there were no fingerprints found at the scene of the crime, from this I deduced that the murderer had no hands....or was a giant insect"  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Big Night Out wasn't up to much. My brother bought most of the Reeves and Mortimer stuff, including Monkey Trousers, and I think Big Night Out is the wrost out the lot, they appear to be trying too hard, still laugh now and then at it though lol.

I just find hitting people over the head with giant pans amusing I guess  :D
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 11:13:35 AM
Aye, I'm a mate of HG's...how did you guess?

Plus to answer someone else, yes it's Vic Reeves in my avatar. Probably his best character to date I think. Kinky John Fowler, the club compere in Bang Bang It's Reeves and Mortimer...funny as fuck! :D

Seen your profile, says you're from Scotland, and the only person I can think of who would recommend you to this place is the kind of gal who would rip your testicles out if you try it on with her. Yep, you guessed it: HG.

I spoken to her a few times. She's cool. (Don't fancy her, though, unlike some retards here -- they got no chance in hell with her. :P)
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 11:49:56 AM
Awwww, HG's bark's worse than her bite ;)

And purposefulinsanity, seeing grown men hitting each other with foam frying pans is indeed funny. It's just with Big Night Out the stuff was too random that it sounded forced...they perfected it later though :D

Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Hypnotica_Gaze on June 06, 2006, 01:42:37 PM
What Jizz means is he knows i dont really bite friends i only bark or snarl at them. ;D

WELL DONE PEEGAI FOR GUESSING CORRECTLY,
ON BOTH JIZZ BEING A FRIEND OF MINE, AND ABOUT THE NO CHANCE IN HELL COMMENT. ;)
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 02:11:44 PM
Actually, I think like HG when it comes to the "no chance in hell" remark. Personally I'd rather stand naked in the middle of a cat fight in the back garden than have some vile cretinous drunken wretch of a girl grunting and moaning on top of me.

Maybe I'm just gay, who knows?

Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Hypnotica_Gaze on June 06, 2006, 02:22:53 PM
Im so glad IM not a vile cretinous drunken wretch, and i dont grunt or moan.

I purr like a sweet little pussy cat whom everyone wants to give a "loving" home to. ;)

Your not gay Jizz...................we are just fussy antisocial cunts. ;D

Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 02:31:24 PM
Actually, I think like HG when it comes to the "no chance in hell" remark. Personally I'd rather stand naked in the middle of a cat fight in the back garden than have some vile cretinous drunken wretch of a girl grunting and moaning on top of me.

Maybe I'm just gay, who knows?



I think not. You probably have difficulty with intimacy if anything. That doesn't make you homosexual.

I have those difficulties too, and I'm a hot-blooded hetro, so don't worry about it.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 06, 2006, 02:55:44 PM
It's not so much a problem with intimacy, it's more that I've rarely met anyone that deserves my attention  :)
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: peegai on June 06, 2006, 02:57:52 PM
It's not so much a problem with intimacy, it's more that I've rarely met anyone that deserves my attention  :)

Ah, k.

Sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzz...
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Lucifer on June 07, 2006, 01:35:05 AM
i have the reeves and mortimer shooting stars CD, where vic mangles well known songs withhis bontempi hit organ keyring (or wjatever satan-spawned "synth" he was using), and then sings them "properly".  (was playing it last night, and howling, coincidentally - synchronicity, or what?).  i was literally sick from laughing when i heard it first.

and is the "science fact" quotation chris morris, by any chance?  the man is a genius.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Praetor on June 07, 2006, 06:40:10 PM
Quote
Heaviest bands I'm into are Death and Obituary,

Ooo the glory days of death metal those bands are.

Especially Death, shame the bloke died of a brain tumour

What about Carcass? Napalm Death?

Oh and of course

Lawnmower death?
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Hypnotica_Gaze on June 07, 2006, 06:42:16 PM
Kenny, are you considering starting an ask Jizz thread?
Or are you scared all the DARK secrets will come out. ;)

Praetor dont encourage him!!!
My Kenny can out-conversation almost anyone about music/bands.  8)
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: shima on June 07, 2006, 06:50:08 PM
Hi Jizz, welcome to Intensity?.  What is your problem with grocery baggers?  Do you have a problem with the people who organize grocery carts too?  Do you have Asperger's or any Asperger's traits?
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: duncvis on June 07, 2006, 07:56:34 PM
Quote
Heaviest bands I'm into are Death and Obituary,

Ooo the glory days of death metal those bands are.

Especially Death, shame the bloke died of a brain tumour

What about Carcass? Napalm Death?

Oh and of course

Lawnmower death?

Lawnmower Deth ROCKED!! The song titles alone were worth it.  8)
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 08, 2006, 01:35:11 AM
Lawnmower Deth, lol, they were pretty dismal. I'd need to Google them but I'm sure one of their albums was called Oooh Crikey, It's Lawnmower Deth, so that says it all about them. And that's before you read the list of band members, one being called Qualcast Mutilator. I remember one of their videos from over 10 years ago and the guitarist had a clown mask on...I think Slipknot ripped them off! ;)

Carcass were good. The Heartwork album had great guitar work on it although I was never a huge fan of the band...and the drummer had short hair, which didn't suit me.

Weird you mention Napalm Death as well because my brother had Greed Killing on the other day, which is a good one if you can get by Barney Greenways silly vocals!

Aye, the way Chuck Schuldiner of Death actually died was really sad. He created an entire new style of music and mastered it too, unlike a shitload of other 3rd rate bands of the same genre.
Their Symbolic album  is total class from the first note to the last...and it makes me all excited....down there *points down and winks cheekily**

And no, I don't have Aspergers. I have problems with social interaction and letting people get close to me, but that's all. I hate bag packers because they grab your stuff and shove into bags at funny angles (guaranteed that frozen applie pie box will be digging into your legs on the way home ;)), they'll hardly look at you while they do it then expect you to drop spare change into their bucket for their tacky little dance club or community centre repairs. All they get from me is a polite "thank you"....if they're lucky.

Quote
Kenny, are you considering starting an ask Jizz thread?
Or are you scared all the DARK secrets will come out. Wink

Praetor dont encourage him!!!
My Kenny can out-conversation almost anyone about music/bands.  Cool

Why do you want to know??!!!??! You just want to ask me questions that will make me awkward and blush...you're nothing but a TEASE!  ;) ;D
OK lady, wait until I've had a few drinks at some point and I'll maybe make one...the alcohol will add a sense of danger. Much like in a film when a man's walking around in his bare feet and you just know there's a drawing pin on the floor somewhere...OMG THE TENSION IS WORSE THAN IN SAW!!! lol :D
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: duncvis on June 08, 2006, 06:29:45 AM
You must mean (http://truemetal.org/metalwallpaper/images/ohcrikeyitslawnmowerdeth.jpg)
this one.  ;D

Lawnmower Deth rule. Any band with a song called 'Satan's Trampoline' fits nicely in my collection. :P
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 08, 2006, 06:34:10 AM
Aye lol, that's the one!

I'll need to get my brother to send me it now. Every now and again he'll smile at me and say "guess what I just downloaded.....?"

One of the times it was that album, the last time he said it it was the BA Baracus one, I'll need to get him to send me that as well! :D
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Sanityisoverrated on June 08, 2006, 08:51:42 AM
Wow, that album looks awesome! I'd better go hunting and see what I can find.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: McGiver on June 08, 2006, 09:54:14 AM
Jizz,
are you going to ever venture out from this thread?

we have lots of discussion about sex, and sex sells.
there are a couple about homosexuality. there are a variety of topics to choose from, certainly you have an opinion or a gripe.

you'll know my arguments when you see em, they are on the anti warm fuzzy side of things.
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: Jizz on June 08, 2006, 10:32:48 AM
I had realised I hadn't posted outside of this one.

I'll make an appearance at some point no doubt  :P
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: McGiver on June 08, 2006, 05:00:44 PM
looking forward.
cheers!
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: McGiver on February 20, 2010, 03:44:32 PM
i have a friend whose name is Isaac Lock. it could've been worse - his name could've been Isaac Cox.
i suck cocks.

haha
Title: Re: Eat my ass...
Post by: RageBeoulve on February 20, 2010, 06:45:10 PM
I knew a guy named butler hancock, and I used to call him assler footdick.  :eyebrows: