INTENSITY²
Politics, Mature and taboo => Political Pundits => Topic started by: The_P on August 19, 2007, 07:45:16 AM
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I would like to know your thoughts on the matter.
(Fuck writing out an essay. I can't be arsed today.)
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With people who are overly nice to everyone, yes. But they're more sycophantic assholes than kind. I don't think it's a weakness to be kind to people who deserve it though, or friends etc.
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they say that you get more bees with honey. some people warrant wrath, but for the most part being nice and respectful to people will yield more results.
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I think that there's no need to be twatty with anyone unless they've really done something to deserve it, its better to treat people with some respect, but unfortunately you don't always get the same back. In some ways I do think that being kind can be a weakness that other people can exploit (whether they do this intentionally or not). For example, sometimes if people know they can always rely on you they do start taking you for granted and are no-where to be seen when you need support or help with something. But overall I personally think its better to treat everyone with basic respect (and kindness when necessary) unless of course they've made it clear that they're going to act like a twat with you.
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I would like to know your thoughts on the matter.
I think that anyone can be kind to their friends, but I think that it takes a really strong person to be kind to people even if they are not kind to you.
I think you should be kind to everyone unless they demonstrate that they definitely do not deserve your kindness.
Purposeful Insanity is correct that some people will try to take you for granted if you are kind, but I think that says more about them than it does about you. You don't have to be unkind to stop someone from taking advantage of you.
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Purposeful Insanity is correct that some people will try to take you for granted if you are kind, but I think that says more about them than it does about you. You don't have to be unkind to stop someone from taking advantage of you.
I think you're right about it saying more about the other person- it took me a long time to realise this, for years I kept asking myself what was wrong with me that made people treat me like that and wondered if I should change. But I finally figured I'd rather be happy with myself than try protect myself against being used by people. Sure sometimes people do still take advantage of me, but there are a lot of people who do actually appreciate me for who I am and I'm grateful for that.
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Purposeful Insanity is correct that some people will try to take you for granted if you are kind, but I think that says more about them than it does about you. You don't have to be unkind to stop someone from taking advantage of you.
I think you're right about it saying more about the other person- it took me a long time to realise this, for years I kept asking myself what was wrong with me that made people treat me like that and wondered if I should change. But I finally figured I'd rather be happy with myself than try protect myself against being used by people. Sure sometimes people do still take advantage of me, but there are a lot of people who do actually appreciate me for who I am and I'm grateful for that.
I had similar experiences and I came to the same conclusion that you did, Purposeful Insanity.
I think for me, it was that I so wanted to have friends that I would do almost anything for them. If someone asked me for a favor, I would drop whatever I was doing to do their favor for them. I will still do a great deal for other people, but I don't drop what I am doing so much anymore, if that makes any sense.
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Hell no. I don't like bullies, assholes, wankers, meanie mos, rude people, etc. I try to be nice to everyone. I was raised that way in my family anyway.
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I think that anyone can be kind to their friends, but I think that it takes a really strong person to be kind to people even if they are not kind to you.
What if you find it easier to be kind and reasonable to a person who's unkind to you, but it doesn't do any good to stop them from being unkind to the next person they meet?
Do you think being unkind is ever a worthwhile skill to develop? Or is the ideal something more Gandhi-like, passive resistance?
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I think that anyone can be kind to their friends, but I think that it takes a really strong person to be kind to people even if they are not kind to you.
What if you find it easier to be kind and reasonable to a person who's unkind to you, but it doesn't do any good to stop them from being unkind to the next person they meet?
Do you think being unkind is ever a worthwhile skill to develop? Or is the ideal something more Gandhi-like, passive resistance?
I wouldn't even bother with them. I would stay away from them.
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Yes, that makes sense Callaway- that's the kind of thing I would do. The most extreme example I can think of is this: A couple of years ago I became friends with a woman who lives a couple of streets away from us- she's a single mum with 3 kids and has a lot of problems with them. I would look after her kids for her whenever she asked (even if I was really too busy to) , let them stay at our house to eat all the time, lend her money (even when we really couldn't afford it), etc. Her eldest son was always in trouble- he was only 10 but he was a very violent boy and whenever he got into trouble she would never punish him because she said it wasn't his fault. For too long I kept trying to help, even taking one of her kids in for the night when she'd forgotten about him, locked him out and passed out drunk on the living room floor. In the end I had to cut off contact with the whole family because he was hitting my kids, he throw a rock through our window and threatened me with a big kitchen knife.
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Yes, that makes sense Callaway- that's the kind of thing I would do. The most extreme example I can think of is this: A couple of years ago I became friends with a woman who lives a couple of streets away from us- she's a single mum with 3 kids and has a lot of problems with them. I would look after her kids for her whenever she asked (even if I was really too busy to) , let them stay at our house to eat all the time, lend her money (even when we really couldn't afford it), etc. Her eldest son was always in trouble- he was only 10 but he was a very violent boy and whenever he got into trouble she would never punish him because she said it wasn't his fault. For too long I kept trying to help, even taking one of her kids in for the night when she'd forgotten about him, locked him out and passed out drunk on the living room floor. In the end I had to cut off contact with the whole family because he was hitting my kids, he throw a rock through our window and threatened me with a big kitchen knife.
What disorder does the boy have?
He sounds just like the Dev-Man but worse at that age except he kept throwing the ax at my brother and his friends in the forest and I didn't even know about it till the end of the school year. He was sent to the hospital by his parents for doing that.
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I think that there's no need to be twatty with anyone unless they've really done something to deserve it, its better to treat people with some respect, but unfortunately you don't always get the same back. In some ways I do think that being kind can be a weakness that other people can exploit (whether they do this intentionally or not). For example, sometimes if people know they can always rely on you they do start taking you for granted and are no-where to be seen when you need support or help with something. But overall I personally think its better to treat everyone with basic respect (and kindness when necessary) unless of course they've made it clear that they're going to act like a twat with you.
QFT
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He doesn't have any disorder,(not one diagnosed anyway) he was examined for ADHD but she was told he didn't have it- his problems are mainly caused by the fact his mother drinks a lot (often to the point of passing out) and his father (and the boyfriends she's had since she split up with him) have mainly all been violent to her. He doesn't have any kind of real parental influence- his mother lets him swear at everyone, smoke (even giving him her own cigarettes to keep him quite), stay out as late as he likes, she just lets him do whatever he likes basically. His behaviour wasn't helped by the fact that whenever anyone complained about his behaviour she would just tell them to 'fuck off' and then tell him to ignore them, or by the fact the police couldn't do anything with him until he turned 10. Once he turned 10 he was put on probation for a year for robbing someone at knife point.
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He doesn't have any disorder,(not one diagnosed anyway) he was examined for ADHD but she was told he didn't have it- his problems are mainly caused by the fact his mother drinks a lot (often to the point of passing out) and his father (and the boyfriends she's had since she split up with him) have mainly all been violent to her. He doesn't have any kind of real parental influence- his mother lets him swear at everyone, smoke (even giving him her own cigarettes to keep him quite), stay out as late as he likes, she just lets him do whatever he likes basically. His behaviour wasn't helped by the fact that whenever anyone complained about his behaviour she would just tell them to 'fuck off' and then tell him to ignore them, or by the fact the police couldn't do anything with him until he turned 10. Once he turned 10 he was put on probation for a year for robbing someone at knife point.
That doesn't sound right what she is doing. Letting her boy getting away with everything he does isn't fair to him because look what will happen to him when he is older, jail time, prison and he is already on probation. Is she expecting the police to correct her boy? Their punishments are a lot tougher than parents' punishments. It could cost her son his life because she never punished him for his behavior when he was little and that wouldn't be fair to him. It's not fair to any child to let them do whatever they want and not punish them for misbehaving because then they could end up getting busted by the cops and serve some of their time in jail, even for the half of their life or for the rest of their lives.
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Its completely unfair to her children, social services have been involved with that family for a long time, but they never actually seem to do anything. Its really sad that to see all 3 of her kids heading down the same road, and no-one doing a thing about it.
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I think that anyone can be kind to their friends, but I think that it takes a really strong person to be kind to people even if they are not kind to you.
What if you find it easier to be kind and reasonable to a person who's unkind to you, but it doesn't do any good to stop them from being unkind to the next person they meet?
Do you think being unkind is ever a worthwhile skill to develop? Or is the ideal something more Gandhi-like, passive resistance?
I think that you don't have to stoop to someone else's level to teach them, assuming that you see it as your responsibility to teach them.
I think that most of the time it is much easier to get someone to see your point-of-view if you treat them with kindness and respect, even if they are not reciprocating.
I admire Gandhi a great deal, even though I could never aspire to be like him. Look at what was accomplished with relatively little bloodshed with passive resistance.
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Its completely unfair to her children, social services have been involved with that family for a long time, but they never actually seem to do anything. Its really sad that to see all 3 of her kids heading down the same road, and no-one doing a thing about it.
That's so sad, but I see why you had to cut off contact with them. You could not risk your own children being hurt or even possibly seeing that sort of behavior as something that they should imitate. Also, the friendship with their mother seemed too one-sided.
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Ghandi has never stooped to our level,
which makes him the biggest arrogant douchebag with
a Messianic Complex going.
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I think that you don't have to stoop to someone else's level to teach them, assuming that you see it as your responsibility to teach them.
By what criteria do you decide that it's your responsibility to teach someone?
By what criteria do you decide whether it's your responsibility to stop someone?
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Ghandi has never stooped to our level,
which makes him the biggest arrogant douchebag with
a Messianic Complex going.
I thought you had a penchant for arrogant douchebags. :laugh: Or is it just the douchebag part that you object to?
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Its completely unfair to her children, social services have been involved with that family for a long time, but they never actually seem to do anything. Its really sad that to see all 3 of her kids heading down the same road, and no-one doing a thing about it.
That's so sad, but I see why you had to cut off contact with them. You could not risk your own children being hurt or even possibly seeing that sort of behavior as something that they should imitate. Also, the friendship with their mother seemed too one-sided.
Her two boys were also trying to pressure our eldest into trying smoking. Before I realised just how bad things were with them she'd always say she's babysit for my kids soon whenever I looked after hers, but once I saw more of what was going on there was no way I'd have let her look after them. But, yeah I stuck it out longer than I should have because I felt sorry for them all and wanted to help- but I couldn't risk my kids to help them.
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Ghandi has never stooped to our level,
which makes him the biggest arrogant douchebag with
a Messianic Complex going.
I thought you had a penchant for arrogant douchebags. :laugh: Or is it just the douchebag part that you object to?
Hush up, for I am trying to emulate "Calandale" but to no avail,
which is no surprise as I am the ultimate douchebag.
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:o :laugh: You didn't have to admit squat - you had me fooled. I responded thinking you were the douche himself.
:plus:
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I think that you don't have to stoop to someone else's level to teach them, assuming that you see it as your responsibility to teach them.
By what criteria do you decide that it's your responsibility to teach someone?
By what criteria do you decide whether it's your responsibility to stop someone?
Me, personally?
My primary responsibility is to take care of my daughter, to teach her to be as independent as possible as she grows up and to help her be a good person.
Or are you asking why I saw it as my responsibility to deal with Hiro?
He was harassing more than one person here in extremely inappropriate ways. He refused to understand that he was behaving inappropriately and he refused to stop. I had at least some standing to confront him because he had sexually harassed me in chat. Even though he had done much worse things to others, they could not confront him, so I did. I got involved because I care very much about the members of INTENSITY² and what Hiro was doing had to stop.
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Yeah, I was asking about Hiro, but I was also trying to generalize it so I didn't clutter up yet another thread with callout crap. When you said "assuming you see it as your responsibility to teach them," I thought you might be implying I was being arrogant. So I was curious at what point you thought taking the responsibility to teach became arrogant.
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:o :laugh: You didn't have to admit squat - you had me fooled. I responded thinking you were the douche himself.
:plus:
:minusevil:
Don't think that I could be used for
such a minor purpose.
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It can be. I know of a guy that let a guy stay rent free because he was too soft.
Hmm...most guys I know who are into other men,
want them hard.
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Be nice to your cashiers (unless of course, they're assholes to you first).
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If Kindness is a weakness, then I'm a pretty weak person IRL. But, having said that, I'm in agreement with Callaway and PI. In the past I would be too susceptible to being exploited by someone who would take advantage of my willingness to help at any time. I'v learned to draw limits and set boundaries. But, it doesn't hurt to be polite and practice random acts of kindness, no matter how small or if you do or don't know the person(s) your being kind to.
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No it isn't a weakness.
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:o :laugh: You didn't have to admit squat - you had me fooled. I responded thinking you were the douche himself.
:plus:
:minusevil:
Don't think that I could be used for
such a minor purpose.
See what you get for being kind to calandale? :lol:
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they say that you get more bees with honey.
Meaning that setting out the honey gets you stung? (see above)
Actually, McJ, don't go telling everybody , but you have to steal the honey off the bees in the first place, so if they think it's "Be Kind to Bees Week" more fool them. :evillaugh:
Seriously, though I agree with the consensus in this thread, that kindness is strength, in moderation; weakness (or even amounting to unkindness) in excess (that drunken ,over-tolerant mother being a case in point. but it's not always that clear-cut, of course).
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I don't believe kindness to be a weakness myself but have dealt with many people who do at work. In fact I have even had them tell me outright that I was weak because I was too nice all this lead to an argument about this and my refusal to work with them again. Also others have told me not to be so nice or I would be taken advantage of. Well I tend to cut the niceness out when it isn't going both ways but try and be pleasant about it.
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Kindness is often mistaken for weakness. You don't have to be weak to be kind.
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When I broke up from my wife, it was not because I'm
spiteful, but it was because I needed to me more kinder to
my selfish whims.
My female associates from school will concur.
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When I was a kid I wanted to be a nice person so I try hard to be because I thought then everyone will like me and kids will stop being mean to me and thinking I'm dumb but some kids knew my weakness by telling me to give them one of my belongings to them or they won't be my friend and I do it. That's how desprate I was for friends then. Then that stopped after we moved and I wasn't giving my stuff away anymore. I quit that when I was 12.
So I have been taken advantage of for my niceness IRL and even online but I learned to toughen up and guys stopped calling me mean after I put up in my AIM profile I was a mean after saying I won't do nude photos and take pics of my breasts or bottom and don't ask me to look for my dad's camera. Few men online have called me mean when i refuse to take nude photos of me so I put up in my AIM profile for those men about don't ask me to do it because I won't and then said I was mean using their words before they could call me that. That also did the trick of getting less perverted men and now I occasionally run into a few.
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When I broke up from my wife, it was not because I'm
spiteful, but it was because I needed to me more kinder to
my selfish whims.
My female associates from school will concur.
Surely you are confused, Peaguy. She broke up with you.
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:o :laugh: You didn't have to admit squat - you had me fooled. I responded thinking you were the douche himself.
:plus:
:minusevil:
Don't think that I could be used for
such a minor purpose.
See what you get for being kind to calandale? :lol:
Nicely done flame, dearie.
I'll have to be more careful.
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When I broke up from my wife, it was not because I'm
spiteful, but it was because I needed to me more kinder to
my selfish whims.
My female associates from school will concur.
You are a idiot.
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When I broke up from my wife, it was not because I'm
spiteful, but it was because I needed to me more kinder to
my selfish whims.
My female associates from school will concur.
You are a peaguy.
With new powers of assimilation!
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When I broke up from my wife, it was not because I'm
spiteful, but it was because I needed to me more kinder to
my selfish whims.
My female associates from school will concur.
You are a peaguy.
With new powers of assimilation!
Crap. I got so drunk as to cuddle you?
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When I broke up from my wife, it was not because I'm
spiteful, but it was because I needed to me more kinder to
my selfish whims.
My female associates from school will concur.
You are a peaguy.
With new powers of assimilation!
Crap. I got so drunk as to cuddle you?
Cause and effect.
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When I broke up from my wife, it was not because I'm
spiteful, but it was because I needed to me more kinder to
my selfish whims.
My female associates from school will concur.
You are a peaguy.
With new powers of assimilation!
Crap. I got so drunk as to cuddle you?
Cause and effect.
Well, I hope you enjoy it.
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I have to.
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Of course,
'tis me.
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Of course,
'tis me.
Nay,
it's the gods who decide.
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Of course,
'tis me.
Nay,
it's the gods who decide.
As I said.
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Of course,
'tis me.
Nay,
it's the gods who decide.
As I said.
Nay; coercion, not pleasure.
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Of course,
'tis me.
Nay,
it's the gods who decide.
As I said.
Nay; coercion, not pleasure.
You'll have both.
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Can't have your cake and eat it.
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You can if you're bulimic.
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Nicely done flame, dearie.
I'll have to be more careful.
Being kind to Walkie? You do like to walk on the dangerous side.
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Nicely done flame, dearie.
I'll have to be more careful.
Being kind to Walkie? You do like to walk on the dangerous side.
Kind? No. Just appreciative. That was handled
with good style.
Plus, I doubt that she'd bite back harder for
kindness, but if so, remember, I'm a bit of
a masochist.
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Ghandi has never stooped to our level,
which makes him the biggest arrogant douchebag with
a Messianic Complex going.
I did one of those long political preferences tests and my views are apparently closest to Ghandi's.
I can be kind but I find it difficult to share (food, belongings,etc). It just doesn't occur to me that I could share and I have been called selfish in the past.
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I would like to know your thoughts on the matter.
(Fuck writing out an essay. I can't be AAARRSE!!d today.)
you...annoy me.
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no, but if people know you are kind they will try to take advantage of it
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no, but if people know you are kind they will try to take advantage of it
Some people might, but not everyone.
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no, but if people know you are kind they will try to take advantage of it
Some people might, but not everyone.
True. Some will just kick you.
Seriously, I've seen that kind people
get treated better. Being mean effects
your whole outlook. Ah, I'm sure that there
are some great con artists, but most people
aren't that clever.
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I would like to know your thoughts on the matter.
(Fuck writing out an essay. I can't be AAARRSE!!d today.)
you...annoy me.
Don't read
me then?
EDIT: Better.
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Suck me.
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Kindness is a strength.
Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.
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Kindness is a strength.
Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.
:agreed: :plus:
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Kindness is a strength.
Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.
I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.
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Kindness is a strength.
Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.
I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.
True, it's a balance! :plus:
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Kindness is a strength.
Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.
I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.
I try to think of it this way ...
I am kind because I want to be, they can take it however they wish. I am not being kind to score brownie points or get good reaction, I do it because it is in my nature. If someone tries to take advantage, I am no longer kind and they lost out on what would have been selflessness on my part.
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Kindness is a strength.
Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.
I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.
I try to think of it this way ...
I am kind because I want to be, they can take it however they wish. I am not being kind to score brownie points or get good reaction, I do it because it is in my nature. If someone tries to take advantage, I am no longer kind and they lost out on what would have been selflessness on my part.
:thumbup:
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I think being too nice is a bad thing because one, people can take advantage of you, two, people might think you are a phony and trying to manipulate. Plus people give you crap for it. Plus I have noticed when people are being "nice" they are actually lying because they are not saying what they mean so I cringe now when I hear "Oh I said that to be nice" or "oh I did that to be nice." So they didn't mean what they did or meant what they said? I learned this from my husband because he say things and then he tell me "Oh I told them that to be nice" and I learned after a while it means to be a phony because you aren't saying what you mean, you're lying.
Yep I learned all this in the past four years. Oh yeah if you tell me "I said that just to be nice" I am going to be questioning everything else you say because I will be wondering if you are just saying that to be nice and what are you really thinking instead. I will be reading into everything you say and might be misreading between the lines all of a sudden because of that one time. I would be thinking of you as some phony and wonder what are you really saying. That goes for when you say "I did that just to be nice" I will then be questioning all your other actions and wonder if you really meant it or was it just to be nice just for a show. It doesn't matter if it was to me or not, if it was about another person, I will be questioning your every moves that is nice because I won't know if it's genuine or "just to be nice." But I don't do this to my husband because he doesn't lie to me, only to other people.
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I think being too nice is a bad thing because one, people can take advantage of you, two, people might think you are a phony and trying to manipulate. Plus people give you crap for it. Plus I have noticed when people are being "nice" they are actually lying because they are not saying what they mean so I cringe now when I hear "Oh I said that to be nice" or "oh I did that to be nice." So they didn't mean what they did or meant what they said? I learned this from my husband because he say things and then he tell me "Oh I told them that to be nice" and I learned after a while it means to be a phony because you aren't saying what you mean, you're lying.
Yep I learned all this in the past four years. Oh yeah if you tell me "I said that just to be nice" I am going to be questioning everything else you say because I will be wondering if you are just saying that to be nice and what are you really thinking instead. I will be reading into everything you say and might be misreading between the lines all of a sudden because of that one time. I would be thinking of you as some phony and wonder what are you really saying. That goes for when you say "I did that just to be nice" I will then be questioning all your other actions and wonder if you really meant it or was it just to be nice just for a show. It doesn't matter if it was to me or not, if it was about another person, I will be questioning your every moves that is nice because I won't know if it's genuine or "just to be nice." But I don't do this to my husband because he doesn't lie to me, only to other people.
So you've never said or done anything just to be nice? :cbc:
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there is a difference between acting nice and being kind
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Being kind to everyone is naive, It's better to leave the kindness to people you know and trust but even then you have to be careful.
For me, a mixture of kindness along with honesty and a willingness to put your foot down when bullshit arises works best.
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there is a difference between acting nice and being kind
Very true. You'd notice someone being "nice" a mile away because they NEVER give you any sort of criticism and seem to agree with you on everything.
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I think being too nice is a bad thing because one, people can take advantage of you, two, people might think you are a phony and trying to manipulate. Plus people give you crap for it. Plus I have noticed when people are being "nice" they are actually lying because they are not saying what they mean so I cringe now when I hear "Oh I said that to be nice" or "oh I did that to be nice." So they didn't mean what they did or meant what they said? I learned this from my husband because he say things and then he tell me "Oh I told them that to be nice" and I learned after a while it means to be a phony because you aren't saying what you mean, you're lying.
Yep I learned all this in the past four years. Oh yeah if you tell me "I said that just to be nice" I am going to be questioning everything else you say because I will be wondering if you are just saying that to be nice and what are you really thinking instead. I will be reading into everything you say and might be misreading between the lines all of a sudden because of that one time. I would be thinking of you as some phony and wonder what are you really saying. That goes for when you say "I did that just to be nice" I will then be questioning all your other actions and wonder if you really meant it or was it just to be nice just for a show. It doesn't matter if it was to me or not, if it was about another person, I will be questioning your every moves that is nice because I won't know if it's genuine or "just to be nice." But I don't do this to my husband because he doesn't lie to me, only to other people.
Well said.
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there is a difference between acting nice and being kind
Very true. You'd notice someone being "nice" a mile away because they NEVER give you any sort of criticism and seem to agree with you on everything.
Never had that experience. Maybe I just haven't met enough people.
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there is a difference between acting nice and being kind
Very true. You'd notice someone being "nice" a mile away because they NEVER give you any sort of criticism and seem to agree with you on everything.
I agree. :)
:zoinks:
Seriously though I do. :laugh:
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Kindness is a strength.
Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.
I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.
I try to think of it this way ...
I am kind because I want to be, they can take it however they wish. I am not being kind to score brownie points or get good reaction, I do it because it is in my nature. If someone tries to take advantage, I am no longer kind and they lost out on what would have been selflessness on my part.
I often say of my oldest friend that she is compassionate without being a pushover. :thumbup:
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there is a difference between acting nice and being kind
There is a big difference, and it's got me into trouble my whole life. Overall, I'd say I'm a reasonable person. I'm kind, but I can be nasty to people I dislike.
I have always been extremely polite, well mannered, and well-spoken. I smile a lot, and look friendly. It's not an act, and is just the way I appear. It does not make me a good person though.
As a child, my parents were always praised by other adults in the village for me being such a lovely polite child. Many adults wrongly thought I was great. Others saw that I was every bit as bad, if not worse, than my peers, and assumed I was putting on an act. They hated me because they assumed my politeness was an act, and they would tell me. I would happilly swear at them, and tell them what I thought of them.
If I had been like the rest of the children, and not been so polite, the adults would probably never have had an issue with me.
I was unaware of this until I was an adult, and a friends parent told me about it. :laugh:
It's very possible to appear rude, but be a very kind person. I am proof that it's possible to appear lovely, but not be a great person.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html)
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I have no idea if I am kind or not.
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I have no idea if I am kind or not.
From what I know of you here, I would say that you are very kind. :)
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I have no idea if I am kind or not.
From what I know of you here, I would say that you are very kind. :)
i agree
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Thanks, both of you. :) I know I don't like to do mean things to people but that is for selfish reasons - I don't like feeling terrible about it.
Lately when I have been on the train I have wanted to go up to people who are playing their music loud or some other obnoxious behaviour, and kick them really hard. Wouldn't they be surprised. It amuses me to think such things. I know they are not kind thoughts.
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Thanks, both of you. :) I know I don't like to do mean things to people but that is for selfish reasons - I don't like feeling terrible about it.
Lately when I have been on the train I have wanted to go up to people who are playing their music loud or some other obnoxious behaviour, and kick them really hard. Wouldn't they be surprised. It amuses me to think such things. I know they are not kind thoughts.
Heh, I have thoughts like that ALL the time. It's fine to have them as long as you don't
act on them. Also, the fact that you would feel terrible about doing mean things to people
suggests that you are kind, because if you weren't, you wouldn't care at all. :)
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I don't like when you (in the general sense) do something mean and feel good about it but then later think, "Er maybe I shouldn't have done that." And then feel worse and worse about it.
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I don't like when you (in the general sense) do something mean and feel good about it but then later think, "Er maybe I shouldn't have done that." And then feel worse and worse about it.
See what I mean? If you weren't basically kind, you wouldn't have the guilt. :chin:
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Heh, I think you must be right. Best not to do anything mean in the first place.
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Heh, I think you must be right. Best not to do anything mean in the first place.
I usually don't, but occasionally I lose my temper and get snappish. :laugh:
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I really dont get angry and yell at people, ever, but there have been times I've gotten really really mad at someone and said mean things. I dont mean name calling , I mean... I tend to go for the throat...
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I have fantasies about doing mean things to rude/obnoxious people........they stay fantasies and helps to relieve the stress. :evillaugh:
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I have fantasies about doing mean things to rude/obnoxious people........they stay fantasies and helps to relieve the stress. :evillaugh:
:toporly:
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http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html)
Holy crap. A lot of what they said about the "nice person" (as opposed to the "kind person") sounds like me. :/
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http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html)
Holy crap. A lot of what they said about the "nice person" (as opposed to the "kind person") sounds like me. :/
Welcome back :)
Oo-er, i'm hope i'm not being nice, here . :LOL:
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http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html)
Holy crap. A lot of what they said about the "nice person" (as opposed to the "kind person") sounds like me. :/
Welcome back :)
Oo-er, i'm hope i'm not being nice, here . :LOL:
I don't think they are back, their post is from 2011 :lol1:
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http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html)
Holy crap. A lot of what they said about the "nice person" (as opposed to the "kind person") sounds like me. :/
Welcome back :)
Oo-er, i'm hope i'm not being nice, here . :LOL:
I don't think they are back, their post is from 2011 :lol1:
Ooops! Weeeell, something-or-other got me reading this thread. I thought it must have been on my "new replies" list.
(Hmm. No blushing smiley)
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There is this one: :paperbag:
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There is this one: :paperbag:
Ahhh, thanks renaeden! (i think )
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Nope... :yarly:
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There is this one: :paperbag:
But also :-[