INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Silk on March 05, 2007, 01:12:15 PM
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I see nothing wrong with cyber-friendships. They can be just as valid, if not more so, then real-life friendships. Not everyone on the internet is a complete psycho who is out for your blood. For all you know, your real-life friend might be some nutcase who needs to be put away. If you don't wish to make friends on the internet, good for you. However, don't put down others who feel that they reap the benefits from this method of communication.
Not targeted at anyone here in particular. Just expressing what I am currently thinking about.
So how do other members feel about making friends online?
Due to personal experiences, I've been careful when it comes to choosing friends since I was in middle school. I finally grew to trust my instincts and they're usually spot on. Which is why I don't like getting too close to anyone online. People like to put on acts, and it's hard trying to figure out whether that's the person's true identity or their internet persona.
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I'm better at reading people online than IRL, more comfortable online, and I travel for work - so almost all my friendships are online. I don't think it's any more or less valid than IRL.
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I agree with Pyraxis.
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That makes three of us.
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i like the fact that you don't have to make eye contact with people online. and flirting is usually innocent since i am not allowed to touch.
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i like the fact that you don't have to make eye contact with people online. and flirting is usually innocent since i am not allowed to touch.
Just don't flirt with PMS LLLL though.... she don't like it. ::)
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I singled out and stalked GalileoAce online.
Other than that, I have one friend in rl and no friends in particular online.
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i like the fact that you don't have to make eye contact with people online. and flirting is usually innocent since i am not allowed to touch.
Just don't flirt with PMS LLLL though.... she don't like it. ::)
:-*
I'm not CLOSE with people online, but I consider them a part of a social/supoprt system in a way.
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i like the fact that you don't have to make eye contact with people online. and flirting is usually innocent since i am not allowed to touch.
Just don't flirt with PMS LLLL though.... she don't like it. ::)
:-*
I'm not CLOSE with people online, but I consider them a part of a social/supoprt system in a way.
serious abandonment issues. she likes/prefers to keep people at arms length....
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Thus spake the great Dr. Phil...
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Thus spake the great Dr. Phil...
my name isn't phil.... call me mike hunt....
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I see nothing wrong with cyber-friendships. They can be just as valid, if not more so, then real-life friendships. Not everyone on the internet is a complete psycho who is out for your blood. For all you know, your real-life friend might be some nutcase who needs to be put away. If you don't wish to make friends on the internet, good for you. However, don't put down others who feel that they reap the benefits from this method of communication.
Not targeted at anyone here in particular. Just expressing what I am currently thinking about.
So how do other members feel about making friends online?
Due to personal experiences, I've been careful when it comes to choosing friends since I was in middle school. I finally grew to trust my instincts and they're usually spot on. Which is why I don't like getting too close to anyone online. People like to put on acts, and it's hard trying to figure out whether that's the person's true identity or their internet persona.
I'm pretty open-minded with it. If you want to establish friendships, but have little desire to interact within bustling social environments, then the internet can be ideal for you, providing that the other person on the other side isn't stringing you along or something. The one potent thing which makes internet relations difficult at times is perhaps the lack of facial and physical cues which gauges a person's emotions and feelings. Without them, you will probably develop various thoughts of paranoia (it happened to me before). It's a question of how much effort and risks you put into these kind of friendships, at the end of the day.
Romance, however, is a different story...
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romance is the best reason.
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:-*
I'm not CLOSE with people online, but I consider them a part of a social/supoprt system in a way.
serious abandonment issues. she likes/prefers to keep people at arms length....
Shows what you know. I prefer to keep people hundreds or thousands of miles away without ever meeting them face to face. So there. :finger: :laugh:
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I prefer having friends IRL, i don't think i could call many people i met online so far a "friend".
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I don't have many friends on line or IRL. I'm "close" to a few, but, I prefer to keep some online "friendships" at arms length. It's my nature and I'v seen too many online "friendships" get flushed down the toilet for one reason or another.
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It's official: T'Keyah's my new love interest. 8)
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With emphasis on "interest". 8)
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I prefer having friends IRL, i don't think i could call many people i met online so far a "friend".
What kind of autistic freak are you? ???
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:-*
I'm not CLOSE with people online, but I consider them a part of a social/supoprt system in a way.
serious abandonment issues. she likes/prefers to keep people at arms length....
Shows what you know. I prefer to keep people hundreds or thousands of miles away without ever meeting them face to face. So there. :finger: :laugh:
do you like to keep people close that you have met IRL?
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do you like to keep people close that you have met IRL?
Not really. It does happen, but I worry about the implications when it does- most that if I'm too close to somenoe, I'll get too comfortable and sloppy and not be on my best behavior and thus alienate them. This is not unfounded- it's happened many a time. It has yet to be seen whether I can outgrow it. Not to be emo or anything.
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romance is the best reason.
Not if the person you have intimate feelings for has already got someone else in mind. Online infatuation sucks.
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romance is the best reason.
Not if the person you have intimate feelings for has already got someone else in mind. Online infatuation sucks.
sounds like quitting words to me.
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romance is the best reason.
Not if the person you have intimate feelings for has already got someone else in mind. Online infatuation sucks.
sounds like quitting words to me.
I wouldn't say that. It's not worth getting into an emotional knot with someone who's at a place where you cannot reach.
Best option? Find someone local if you want a sexual relationship. To do that, one needs to go outside more -- like myself.
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Well said.
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romance is the best reason.
Not if the person you have intimate feelings for has already got someone else in mind. Online infatuation sucks.
sounds like quitting words to me.
I wouldn't say that. It's not worth getting into an emotional knot with someone who's at a place where you cannot reach.
Best option? Find someone local if you want a sexual relationship. To do that, one needs to go outside more -- like myself.
you're right.
you gotta put your line in the water, or you aint going to catch the fish.
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romance is the best reason.
Not if the person you have intimate feelings for has already got someone else in mind. Online infatuation sucks.
sounds like quitting words to me.
I wouldn't say that. It's not worth getting into an emotional knot with someone who's at a place where you cannot reach.
Best option? Find someone local if you want a sexual relationship. To do that, one needs to go outside more -- like myself.
you're right.
you gotta put your line in the water, or you aint going to catch the fish.
However, I don't think it's odd to start a relationship with someone online as long as you get to know them in public beforehand.
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i think that meeting someone online is a great way to break the ice.
just so long as the two people are geographically desireable.
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i think that meeting someone online is a great way to break the ice.
just so long as the two people are geographically desireable.
I've got a 10 hour bus trip each way to see the person I'm going to see. :(
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i think that meeting someone online is a great way to break the ice.
just so long as the two people are geographically desireable.
I've got a 10 hour bus trip each way to see the person I'm going to see. :(
if you like to read then that may be construed as geographicallt desireable.
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I'm better at reading people online than IRL, more comfortable online, and I travel for work - so almost all my friendships are online. I don't think it's any more or less valid than IRL.
Have you ever had any incidences online where you misread people and fall out for a short period of time, Pyraxis? Compared to me, you appear (online, anyway) to have the ball in your court at all times without letting your emotions get in the way of things.
(Would you like to answer this query as well, McJagger?)
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nope.
i was just stuck, saring at your avatar.
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nope.
i was just stuck, saring at your avatar.
What am I to do with you, old man? :laugh:
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nope.
i was just stuck, saring at your avatar.
What am I to do with you, old man? :laugh:
you may further bend over, so that my tongue can get deeper.
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Sycophant!
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are you still offering zoinks for free?
because i can use ine, right about now.
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Okay, I'm getting the Potassium Nitrate for you two horndogs!
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Okay, I'm getting the Potassium Nitrate for you two horndogs!
don't need it.
all i want is his unshowered man smell.
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Go for it! I'll stay out of the way! ::)
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Have you ever had any incidences online where you misread people and fall out for a short period of time, Pyraxis? Compared to me, you appear (online, anyway) to have the ball in your court at all times without letting your emotions get in the way of things.
I've misread people plenty of times (sometimes you), but it doesn't cause fallouts. If I catch myself getting genuinely mad, my first instinct is to get the hell away from the forum until I can think straight. I think I fell out with Peter once after getting touchy over some sex comment or other. I have more emotion behind me than it looks like, I just (usually) try to keep it out of my writing style.
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human afterall.
here i thought you were some kind of machine.
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What purpose would a machine have for hanging around an irrational chaotic forum like this one?
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what makes you think machines would have different desires from humans?
I'd make my machines similar.
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What purpose would a machine have for hanging around an irrational chaotic forum like this one?
Curiosity.
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Point.
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Point.
Taken?
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1. Let them know where they stand, that no possible real-life encounters will happen. Don't prolong it for months.
2. If that person wishes to send you their address, etc, ask yourself that, if you prefer your real-life friends more than anyone else, do you really want this to develop further? Set 'em straight. Don't offer or make promises to send them birthday cards, christmas presents, etc.
3. Don't take their problems on board, and don't share yours either.
4. Don't delude them with notions that you care for them, etc, when you don't really mean it in that way. Reserve giving these compliments towards those that you have a real connection with.
If you follow these guidelines, you won't mislead people online.
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stay at arms length?
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Oh yeah, and 5. Don't call me "friend" if I'm disposable. I am not your fucking friend.
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3. Don't take their problems on board, and don't share yours either.
Gotta disagree with this one. Lots of people exchange casual advice online without necessarily having a deep friendship behind it.
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3. Don't take their problems on board, and don't share yours either.
Gotta disagree with this one. Lots of people exchange casual advice online without necessarily having a deep friendship behind it.
Eh, fair enough. I'm still in bitter mode, it seems. :p
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3. Don't take their problems on board, and don't share yours either.
Gotta disagree with this one. Lots of people exchange casual advice online without necessarily having a deep friendship behind it.
Gotta agree with Pyraxis on this one, I don't have to be a "close friend" to want to support someone who I feel might find what I say useful. If they don't like what I say they can ignore me or tell me to fuck off. I just figure (or used to) that if somebody posted an issue, they wanted feedback..........................boy was I wrong in many cases. Now I think twice, unless I really can't help myself! I just try not to take things personally if it gets a negative reaction.
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advice is like a whores ass....it's never absolutely free.
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I'm not sure of that analogy, but, when I throw out advice/suggestions/support I'm not exactly looking for anything in return. If somebody tells me to fuck off..............I fuck off. Or if I get ignored, then I say nothing further....usually. I'm not looking for alliances/sex/friendship.
Cyber alliances are like building a house on a sand dune, doesn't work. Sex......cybersex doesn't work for me. Friendships are nice, but, in cyberspace..what is a friendship? It has always seemed to me that cyberfriendships were at best a pleasant way to pass the time. Little to no expectations, there's no eye or physical contact, nothing to really form a lasting bond over. Just a pleasant pretext to wile away an idle hour.
Now having said that, I feel "friendships" with Callaway, PI, Drunkardswalk and others, but ultimately, it's not the same as a real life friendship.
Real life freindships are both emotional/physical/mental give and take in real time, 2 out of three on the internet ain't bad, but, it's just not the same.
But, comparing advice giving on a forum to a whore's ass is a bit of stretch, but then again, thats just you being you. Thats not a criticism, just a pragmatic observation.
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BTW, I'm headed for bed. Take your time responding I'll be reading it at around 7 am EST.
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i think cyber friendships are ideal...
you can get what you need without eye contact.
far less responsibilities as well.
oh, and the best part....it is much easier to walk away, if need be.
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advice is like a whores ass....it's never absolutely free.
I don't know about advice, but the other is sometimes.
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Have you ever had any incidences online where you misread people and fall out for a short period of time, Pyraxis? Compared to me, you appear (online, anyway) to have the ball in your court at all times without letting your emotions get in the way of things.
I've misread people plenty of times (sometimes you), but it doesn't cause fallouts. If I catch myself getting genuinely mad, my first instinct is to get the hell away from the forum until I can think straight. I think I fell out with Peter once after getting touchy over some sex comment or other. I have more emotion behind me than it looks like, I just (usually) try to keep it out of my writing style.
Am I forgiven yet? Are we going to have make-up sex?
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I often listen to friend's problems and offer advice where appropriate. Someone was telling me last night that I was a good person and that they were really glad I'd been online for them to talk to about stuff, and that she wished she could be non-judgemental like me. I've been in situations though where people were only interested in venting their problems on me, and didn't reciprocate when I had problems of my own, which was pretty crappy.
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Am I forgiven yet? Are we going to have make-up sex?
Yes, and not a chance, you whore.
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Am I forgiven yet? Are we going to have make-up sex?
Yes, and not a chance, you whore.
But it works so well for bonobos!
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Am I forgiven yet? Are we going to have make-up sex?
Yes, and not a chance, you whore.
Aww...and I wanted pictures.
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I'm not sure of that analogy, but, when I throw out advice/suggestions/support I'm not exactly looking for anything in return. If somebody tells me to fuck off..............I fuck off. Or if I get ignored, then I say nothing further....usually. I'm not looking for alliances/sex/friendship.
Cyber alliances are like building a house on a sand dune, doesn't work. Sex......cybersex doesn't work for me. Friendships are nice, but, in cyberspace..what is a friendship? It has always seemed to me that cyberfriendships were at best a pleasant way to pass the time. Little to no expectations, there's no eye or physical contact, nothing to really form a lasting bond over. Just a pleasant pretext to wile away an idle hour.
Now having said that, I feel "friendships" with Callaway, PI, Drunkardswalk and others, but ultimately, it's not the same as a real life friendship.
Real life freindships are both emotional/physical/mental give and take in real time, 2 out of three on the internet ain't bad, but, it's just not the same.
But, comparing advice giving on a forum to a whore's ass is a bit of stretch, but then again, thats just you being you. Thats not a criticism, just a pragmatic observation.
Now that I can accept. For one, we're not in the middle of a developing relationship. And two, he's not the kind of person who has to be so fucking twatty over a subject such as valuing online friendships. Jesus christ, why can't people learn to be fucking considerate and grateful towards someone like me? I don't judge my friends' lifestyles, so why do some have to nit-pick on mine? Grr...
"Look, even though I don't value you the same way as I do with my other friends, you seem to be a great guy in real-life. I hope that someday you will find the people that respect your friendship."
But noooo! I had to get the twat response.
End of rant.
P.S: I don't do cyberfucking, either.
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What happened now?
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What happened now?
Nothing, Py. I'm just still fucking angry over it.
To those who slag off my method of making friends, fuck you. It's my life, and I don't fucking care if I'm making friends in an unorthodox manner.
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pea, if you even care. i like you.
i fi was ever to visit your area, i would seek out a meetup with you.
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pea, if you even care. i like you.
i fi was ever to visit your area, i would seek out a meetup with you.
I like you too, Faggs. You're a laugh to talk to. :)
Same goes for most of the "misfits" here I had the pleasure of talking to (you know who you are).
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pea, if you even care. i like you.
i fi was ever to visit your area, i would seek out a meetup with you.
I like you too, Faggs. You're a laugh to talk to. :)
Same goes for most of the "misfits" here I had the pleasure of talking to (you know who you are).
good.
let's not get all emo. let's just know where we stand and get back to business (monkey business) as usual
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pea, if you even care. i like you.
i fi was ever to visit your area, i would seek out a meetup with you.
I like you too, Faggs. You're a laugh to talk to. :)
Same goes for most of the "misfits" here I had the pleasure of talking to (you know who you are).
good.
let's not get all emo. let's just know where we stand and get back to business (monkey business) as usual
Once I start to do other new things in my life, I know that these feelings will pass.
But yeah, spank my monkey, biotch!
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pea, if you even care. i like you.
i fi was ever to visit your area, i would seek out a meetup with you.
I like you too, Faggs. You're a laugh to talk to. :)
Same goes for most of the "misfits" here I had the pleasure of talking to (you know who you are).
good.
let's not get all emo. let's just know where we stand and get back to business (monkey business) as usual
Once I start to do other new things in my life, I know that these feelings will pass.
But yeah, spank my monkey, biotch!
ok, but this doesn't mean that i am ghey or anything.
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no it just makes you a
Bestafealeac
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I just love to feel "the beast"
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I just love to feel "the beast"
but did you ever stop to think about whether the beast loves to feel you
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I just love to feel "the beast"
but did you ever stop to think about whether the beast loves to feel you
The way it pulses, I think it does....
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Guests, guests and more guests. :p
"Hurhur, Peegai is a twat-i-o, olos."
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Guests, guests and more guests. :p
"Hurhur, Peegai is a twat-i-o, olos."
did HG break your heart on a saturday?
are all saturdays tough days for you now?
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Guests, guests and more guests. :p
"Hurhur, Peegai is a twat-i-o, olos."
did HG break your heart on a saturday?
are all saturdays tough days for you now?
Eh, I'm just ranting. It's the only way I can get it out of my system.
Honest. :p
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Guests, guests and more guests. :p
"Hurhur, Peegai is a twat-i-o, olos."
did HG break your heart on a saturday?
are all saturdays tough days for you now?
Eh, I'm just ranting. It's the only way I can get it out of my system.
Honest. :p
ok.
hey did you have class all week this last wee?
how is the catering course going for you?
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Guests, guests and more guests. :p
"Hurhur, Peegai is a twat-i-o, olos."
did HG break your heart on a saturday?
are all saturdays tough days for you now?
Eh, I'm just ranting. It's the only way I can get it out of my system.
Honest. :p
ok.
hey did you have class all week this last wee?
how is the catering course going for you?
Just a Tuesday unfortunately.
It went alright. Am currently looking for some part-time work to fill in them gaps.
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Guests, guests and more guests. :p
"Hurhur, Peegai is a twat-i-o, olos."
did HG break your heart on a saturday?
are all saturdays tough days for you now?
Eh, I'm just ranting. It's the only way I can get it out of my system.
Honest. :p
ok.
hey did you have class all week this last wee?
how is the catering course going for you?
Just a Tuesday unfortunately.
It went alright. Am currently looking for some part-time work to fill in them gaps.
maybe something in the restaurant business?
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Guests, guests and more guests. :p
"Hurhur, Peegai is a twat-i-o, olos."
did HG break your heart on a saturday?
are all saturdays tough days for you now?
Eh, I'm just ranting. It's the only way I can get it out of my system.
Honest. :p
ok.
hey did you have class all week this last wee?
how is the catering course going for you?
Just a Tuesday unfortunately.
It went alright. Am currently looking for some part-time work to fill in them gaps.
maybe something in the restaurant business?
I'm a loveable retard, so maybe Ol' Gord will take a liking to me.
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don't forget to put your 8 incher in your resume.
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HG sent me a reply last weekend over the email I sent her last Wed after getting home from voluntary work, which was to do with the fact that I cut her off over this friendship business, as you may all know about it. Basically, she said that I overreacted a bit, but she did apologise for not explaining her friendship hierarchy properly, which I did not expect.
After reading the entire reply, it made me think twice about moving on from her (I ain't quitting a friendship because of one misunderstanding), so I sent her another email suggesting that we should keep in contact, but mostly through emails and occasional IM'ing, so that there will be less chance of us falling out with each other again. She's busy on an important case, so I'm going have to wait a bit for a response on this, which I don't mind. If she doesn't, then that's alright -- I got other friends to focus my attentions on.
Thanks for being there when I needed it though, Mel -- I owe ya one. :)
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I'm glad that HG had the humility to apologise, which is more than I can say for some people. Just make sure you keep her at arms length and don't get sucked in again. Concentrate more on making friends locally, in real life. I personally dislike HG, but that opinion was only formed from my experiences with her online. You know her differently, and I'm glad that you and her are on speaking terms again.
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I'm glad that HG had the humility to apologise, which is more than I can say for some people. Just make sure you keep her at arms length and don't get sucked in again. Concentrate more on making friends locally, in real life. I personally dislike HG, but that opinion was only formed from my experiences with her online. You know her differently, and I'm glad that you and her are on speaking terms again.
Emma never apologized for lying to you for all that time about Ascan, even after I posted that truth thread?
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We must remember this: Truth is in the eye of the Beholder.
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I'm glad that HG had the humility to apologise, which is more than I can say for some people. Just make sure you keep her at arms length and don't get sucked in again. Concentrate more on making friends locally, in real life. I personally dislike HG, but that opinion was only formed from my experiences with her online. You know her differently, and I'm glad that you and her are on speaking terms again.
It's not like I haven't tried, Robert. I've been to a few social groups, etc, but it just doesn't work out for me because I hardly have anything in common with them. It just means that I'll have to bend over backwards in order to fit in, which I no longer want to do. I want to be surrounded by people who have similar interests to mine and who will accept me for who I am, and not people who will only like you if you apply to their standards.
Unfortunately, I can only find people like that online. If I had better experiences in real-life, I wouldn't resort to making online friendships so much. It's alright for people to suggest that making online friends is a no-no because they're rather lucky to have the friends they got in real life. Very lucky, indeed.
But saying that, I think that Robert is right about keeping your distance from HG.
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We must remember this: Truth is in the eye of the Beholder.
I disagree. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but there are objective truths.
I don't care how many beholders you have, you can't vote on the sex of a kitten. It is what it is.
Emma was lying to RobertN. She may say that her motive for lying was a good one, and we can debate that, but not the fact that she lied to him over a long period of time.
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I'm glad that HG had the humility to apologise, which is more than I can say for some people. Just make sure you keep her at arms length and don't get sucked in again. Concentrate more on making friends locally, in real life. I personally dislike HG, but that opinion was only formed from my experiences with her online. You know her differently, and I'm glad that you and her are on speaking terms again.
It's not like I haven't tried, Robert. I've been to a few social groups, etc, but it just doesn't work out for me because I hardly have anything in common with them. It just means that I'll have to bend over backwards in order to fit in, which I no longer want to do. I want to be surrounded by people who have similar interests to mine and who will accept me for who I am, and not people who will only like you if you apply to their standards.
Unfortunately, I can only find people like that online. If I had better experiences in real-life, I wouldn't resort to making online friendships so much. It's alright for people to suggest that making online friends is a no-no because they're rather lucky to have the friends they got in real life. Very lucky, indeed.
As much as hate to admit it, most of my friends are online. Most of My friends IRL are far away and scattered all over the country. I have people in the town that I'm on friendly terms with and a couple of neighborhood friends that I chat with from time to time and swap favors, house watching, babysitting the dog, helping with yard chores. The people on Fractalus and a couple on AI and of course here, like Callaway, PI, Odeon, Dunc, etc,.
Most times IRL, I am misunderstood or I do the misunderstanding, so not too many around here. I'm glad your keeping a degree of friendship with HG as a possibility. Your friendship will either be stronger or slowly fade away as time goes on. That is also a fact, many a friend from college has faded away for me. Priorities, responsibilities change, it's just a harsh fact. Social groups are ok, but, the one I have been invited to is mostly composed of younger aspies, only one of them I know personally. She was an aspie from aspergia who lived nearby here in Maine. She's only 21, nice girl, in fact she contacted me, not I her. She's just someone who loves to be social. We've even had her as a houseguest a couple of times.
Maybe one of these days I'll pop by into the social group, just to see what it's all about.
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But Callaway, what is is done and can not be undone.
We are the Beholders ourselves to the truth or even the deceptions (lies).
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I agree with Callaway. There are objective truths.
Oh, and Ozy, I'd babysit your dog any time, if we lived close enough for that, and if you had a dog. (Do you?) ;)
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Actually we don't have a dog. I have dogsat for my neighbors dog.
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I rabbit sat for someone, and the damned thing
ate their couch.
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odeon the truth is subjective in our own eyes.
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odeon the truth is subjective in our own eyes.
Some "truths" are, others aren't.
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odeon the truth is subjective in our own eyes.
Some "truths" are, others aren't.
Some are even objective to even Us too.
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odeon the truth is subjective in our own eyes.
The truth may depend upon our perception.
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odeon the truth is subjective in our own eyes.
The truth may depend upon our perception.
That is what I been trying to say in many ways.
:plus:
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For a more complete discussion:
http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php?topic=3768.msg163606#new
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odeon the truth is subjective in our own eyes.
Some "truths" are, others aren't.
Some are even objective to even Us too.
i object to the importance of Us.
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odeon the truth is subjective in our own eyes.
Some "truths" are, others aren't.
Some are even objective to even Us too.
i object to the importance of Us.
Anything that includes you, can't be important,
so I concur.