INTENSITY²
Start here => Free For ALL => Topic started by: Genesis on April 05, 2015, 05:53:38 PM
-
IT BEGINS!!!!! OH GOD ITS BEAUTIFUL!
-
IT BEGINS!!!!! OH GOD ITS BEAUTIFUL!
(http://www.quickmeme.com/img/7f/7f33d093b8f483242613e15e456fe37de9269948b09e8ceefa03d240187977c7.jpg)
-
:(
-
Fuck!!!!! Strike Molina out Lester!!!! Come on!!!!
-
Damn it Castro!
-
Looks like I'm taking a High Caffeine intake tonight :(
-
??? ??? ??? ???
-
WHY!?! WHY!?! For the Love of everything holy!!! WHY!?!
-
Thank You Coke!!!!! (Not the Soda you Duncebuckets!)
-
Another Extra Base Hit!!!! *Cries*
-
Stella!!!!
-
:cbc:
-
:-[
-
Come on Motte!
-
Tell me about your Mother, was she a nice lady?
-
Tell me about your Mother, was she a nice lady?
No I will not tell you >:(
-
Tell me about your Mother, was she a nice lady?
No I will not tell you >:(
Fine!!! :finger:
-
Tell me about your Mother, was she a nice lady?
No I will not tell you >:(
Fine!!! :finger:
WHY!?!
-
::) Another bizarre, batshit thread by Genesis.
-
I'd avoid whatever it is that he is having.
-
I'd avoid whatever it is that he is having.
Coke.
-
Tell me about your Mother, was she a nice lady?
She's okay. Rotten luck she had to give birth to the Antichrist though. :headhurts:
-
Sorry.... it was a baseball game I was listening to last night.
My team lost.
-
Baseball games tend to do that to one's mind.
-
Baseball games tend to do that to one's mind.
Especially if they've been mixed with coke :zoinks:
-
(http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120430174925/masseffect/de/images/3/34/Ein_Quantum_Mordin.jpeg)
-
Baseball games tend to do that to one's mind.
Especially if they've been mixed with coke :zoinks:
The relief pitcher's name is Phil Coke..... Henchforth "Coke".
-
Baseball games tend to do that to one's mind.
Especially if they've been mixed with coke :zoinks:
The relief pitcher's name is Phil Coke..... Henchforth "Coke".
Can I still snort him though? :zoinks:
-
Baseball games tend to do that to one's mind.
Especially if they've been mixed with coke :zoinks:
The relief pitcher's name is Phil Coke..... Henchforth "Coke".
Can I still snort him though? :zoinks:
-_-
-
Baseball games tend to do that to one's mind.
Especially if they've been mixed with coke :zoinks:
The relief pitcher's name is Phil Coke..... Henchforth "Coke".
Can I still snort him though? :zoinks:
-_-
:autism:
-
Baseball games tend to do that to one's mind.
Especially if they've been mixed with coke :zoinks:
The relief pitcher's name is Phil Coke..... Henchforth "Coke".
Can I still snort him though? :zoinks:
-_-
:autism:
:clap:
-
Baseball games tend to do that to one's mind.
Especially if they've been mixed with coke :zoinks:
The relief pitcher's name is Phil Coke..... Henchforth "Coke".
Can I still snort him though? :zoinks:
-_-
:autism:
:clap:
(http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs36/i/2008/281/5/5/Cylon_eye_by_Balsavor.png)
-
Fuck You #26!
-
:flyingbat:<----See this? Because thats you!
-
Who is #26?
-
Solertay of the San Diego Padres -_-
-
Did you lose a bet?
-
My new life philosophy
Charlie Sheen Troll Rant (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAuvD00D0RA#)
-
Did you lose a bet?
Nope...
-
:flyingbat:<----See this? Because thats you!
I'm not a bat, I'm an asshole! Do your research :M
-
:flyingbat:<----See this? Because thats you!
I'm not a bat, I'm an asshole! Do your research :M
Braying Donkey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gROO7xSTxfY#)
-
:flyingbat:<----See this? Because thats you!
I'm not a bat, I'm an asshole! Do your research :M
Braying Donkey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gROO7xSTxfY#)
What the hell has that got to do with anything? :dunno:
-
:flyingbat:<----See this? Because thats you!
I'm not a bat, I'm an asshole! Do your research :M
Braying Donkey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gROO7xSTxfY#)
What the hell has that got to do with anything? :dunno:
Ass is another name for Donkey.
-
:flyingbat:<----See this? Because thats you!
I'm not a bat, I'm an asshole! Do your research :M
Braying Donkey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gROO7xSTxfY#)
What the hell has that got to do with anything? :dunno:
Ass is another name for Donkey.
I know. But I'm not an ass, I'm an Asshole. There's a difference :M
-
God Damn it!!! Its so beautiful! Beat those Fucking Mets!!!!
-
First theres Hansel. But where the fuck is Gretel?
-
Is it possible for a little person to get high off Caffeine?
-
Here we go again. ::)
-
YAY a Strikeout!!!!! Fuck Yeah!
-
:heisenberg: SAY MY NAME!
-
<-----Bat-shit crazy Cubs fan
-
Bill and Ted's favorite number?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Anyone?
-
Do not BUFFER!
-
Oh Hansel... wheres your Gretel?
-
Alright Bryant! Another Homerun!
-
Who gives a shit about Deflate Gate!
-
I miss Robin Williams :'(
-
:pwned:
-
What's this shit? :dunno:
-
It's Genesis' random thread. The problem with it is that it stays on topic.
-
Oh hai Genesis. :zoinks:
-
I miss Robin Williams :'(
Robin Williams Tribute (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6csfDT5ovps)
Oh Captain my Captain :'(
-
:( It's sad that he saw no other option.
-
We finally beat those crappy Mets! YAY!!!!! LMAO!
-
Oh... I should get ready for work :-/
-
3131!
-
3131!
Nice.
-
3131!
Nice.
I have no idea what it means. :headhurts:
-
3131!
Nice.
I have no idea what it means. :headhurts:
It's his post count.
-
:voodoo: = Melancon
-
:yawn: Sheesh
-
ARGH!!!!
-
Squirrel!
-
Is 25 a whole new beginning?
-
:flyingbat: sh!t crazy :headhurts:
-
:LOL:
-
Is 25 a whole new beginning?
We missed your BD?
Happy belated BD then.
25 brings as much a new beginning as every day has to offer you.
-
Happy Birthday.
-
OMG we missed Genesis' birthday!! :GA:
:birthday:
-
:party:
25 is a good age.
-
Party like its 1908! The Cubbies Trounced the Tigers!
-
The what did what with what?
-
The what did what with what?
Long Story
-
What?
-
He doesn't want to tell you. :zoinks:
-
I noticed.
-
He doesn't want to tell you. :zoinks:
Pity, because there is nothing wrong with a good long story. Long Story
Do tell, Genesis. Write us a story. And make it exiting.
-
Pity, because there is nothing wrong with a good long story.
Unless it's lacking big gaping double spaced so-called paragraphs. :laugh:
-
Pity, because there is nothing wrong with a good long story.
Unless it's lacking big gaping double spaced so-called paragraphs. :laugh:
I do like my thinking pauses, yes. :M
:laugh:
-
It seems he isn't interested, anyway.
-
Here is one of my stories:
http://theredhairing40.tumblr.com/post/122282296379/for-the-folks-of-i-2
-
Dear Diary,
Yesterday, I got my period for the first time. I was in school when I felt something gooey in my underwear. I thought it was just discharge, so I went to the bathroom to check. I found brown stuff in my underwear. My hands started shaking. I thought maybe I’d gotten my period, but it didn’t look like blood. Also, I’m a little flat-chested and thought my period couldn’t come this early. Since school was almost over, I wiped the stuff off my underwear and went back to class. I was really scared—I thought something might be wrong with me!
By the time I got home, more of the brown stuff was on my underwear. When I told my mom, she exclaimed, “You've gotten your period!” We went to the pharmacy and got some pads. I decided to start with pads and try tampons later. I’d definitely try them before summer camp so I could go swimming.
I slept with a pad on. By the next morning, there was no doubt that I’d gotten my period! Even though some girls are shy about their periods, I was excited and told friends and family the news.
-
A Day That Changed My Life Forever
It was the month of November and the year was 2008. I did not plan on going to the hospital on this day but my mother received a phone call. That one call was my reason for being waken up at 4 a.m. listening to my mom as she reused me to get dressed. One call changed my life forever. A person from the hospital called and said that my grandmother was not breathing normally. After we got to the hospital we find out that the cancer she was diagnosed with has affected her breathing, which caused tubes to be placed in her to make sure she stays alive. I remember hearing all these doctors and nurses ask me and my family to make decisions on the plans for my grandmother. I was only fifteen years old so I did not understand what was really going on.
As I watched by my grandmother’s bedside, all I could see was a person who was the strongest person I knew be forced to be weak for the moment. Her skin color remained the same but her eyes never opened. As much as I reassured her that I would be by her side I was scared that she did not hear me since she never woke up. At one point, one of my grandmother’s sisters told me that she was actually having a conversation with God and that is why her eyes will not open. Sitting at her bedside gave me nothing but to time to reminisce on how she made an impact on my life.
From the time I was born my grandma has been the truest friend I know. She has witnessed every life event that was special to me from the first day of kindergarten to my 8th grade graduation and even more. Once I got to high school I found myself being introduced to more obstacles but I always knew that I could call on my grandmother when I felt like I could not overcome them. I remember specifically when I was the age of fourteen just beginning my sophomore year of high school and I got my first C on my report card. The grade upset me causing me to put myself down but the person who quickly picked me up was my grandmother telling me that she was proud of me. Those few words stopped every tear from flowing giving me a sign of relief. Each time when I did not want to believe things would be okay in any situation my grandma did whatever she could to make me a believer.
My grandmother constantly told me what I needed to know in order to live. Her way of sharing knowledge through stores and lectures opened my eyes to the endless possibilities I have as a person. Through my grandmother’s words I have understood the importance of education, being a humanitarian, and even writing thank-you notes. Each message I acquired is and will continue to be used for as long as I live.
For as long as she lived my grandmother has been the reason I have developed a love for reading. She bought me my first book and on the day of her death I felt as if I would not be able to enjoy reading as much as I did before since I had no one to discuss the books with. Not only did we read books but also we were working on a scrapbook the year before she got sick. This book illustrated some of my favorite memories with her from that start the day I was born.
While I held my grandmother’s hand at the hospital I significantly recalled her love of music. She never played any instruments but she really appreciated the music by artists such as Otis Redding, Sam Cooke and Nancy Wilson. One song reminds me of the relationship I with her was “Ohh Child” by the Stairsteps. It seems as if my grandmother is singing to me telling me that things will be easier and get brighter day-by-day. In fact I got introduced to this song by watching the movie Crooklyn which starred Alfre Woodard as a other who was a person who was the backbone for her family then she passed away but still constantly remind her husband and children that things were going to get easier like the words in the song. Each day my grandmother lived she made sure she was uplifting me with her spirit making sure I knew that things would get better each day.
The most memorable words I have ever heard my grandmother say were “ you are special.” When she said that I always felt as if I am truly special because I was her granddaughter that she prepared for everything life had put past me; nevertheless, she was my best support system. As inspiring as my grandmother was, in return, I hope I am making her just as proud.
Once my grandmother passed I took her obituary and put it under my pillow so every night I felt as if I was sleeping right next to her. I found doing that was comforting to me because it would help me cope with her death. I then began to use other pictures I had of us when I was younger as a way to help ease the pain I felt along with reminding me of the memories we shared which made me feel as if she was still here.
My grandmother’s death was the first death I have experienced in my family. I have learned to deal with it but I still have not overcome it. It taught me how to be strong and what memories really can do. I am thankful that she got to spend fifteen years of my life with me so I can share everything I learned from her to any person I meet. If it was not for her unconditional love andsupport I would not be able to call myself a freshman at the University of Michigan all my years living, she has been the most influential person in my life as my mentor and friend. I find that with dealing with the difficult experience of her death I must also face the tough obstacle of her not being able to help me move in to collegeand start my new life. I do know that she is watching over me making sure I am doing my best and that each day is better than the last.
-
Oh diary, I love her, I love her, I love her so much. Jordana is the most amazing person I have ever met. I could eat her. I could drink her blood. She's the only person I would allow to be shrunk to microscopic size and explore me in a tiny submersible machine. She is wonderful and beautiful and sensitive and funny and sexy. She's too good for me, she's too good for anyone! All I could do was let her know. I said: "I love you more than words." And I am a big fan of words.
-
So sweet that you open up here, Hubert. :zoinks:
-
:clap: Nice.... lol
-
So sweet that you open up here, Hubert. :zoinks:
It's the random spot ;)
-
What's this crap?
-
What's this crap?
Apparently a fan-fiction that is not as worse as Twilight.
-
Dear Diary,
So much has happened since my last entry! College is starting soon, I've moved into the dorm (out of my parent's house finally!) and here's the big news... I lost my virginity! I know, I know-- I always said I was going to wait until I was married, or at least truly in love. Maybe being around so many new people changed my mind. Maybe it was my new roommate. Maybe it was finally being away from home. I'm not really sure why I changed my mind about sex, but I'm glad I did! Here's how it happened...
We pulled on to the campus and found the freshman dorms around mid-afternoon yesterday. Both Mom and Dad came to drop me off and help me move in. You already know how they don't like the idea of me going to a big state school. They'd rather have me live at home and go to community college for a semester or two. I don't know what the big deal is, I'll be 18 next month. But anyway, they both made the trip with me. We'd been driving for hours, and when we finally got out of the car, the Mid-Atlantic August air was unbearable. It had to have been 100 degrees and humid as a rainforest.
When we got out of the car, kids and parents were everywhere, carrying suitcases and milk crates and cardboard boxes. Dad sent Mom and me to go check in and get my room assignment while he unloaded the car. The freshman dorms are long, eight-story buildings that form three sides of a square around a central dining hall. Mom and I walked into the lobby expecting some relief from the heat, only to discover that the freshman dorms weren't air conditioned! At that point I was about ready to accept community college! At least they had lots of fans set up.
I got my room assignment and I got my keys. My room is on the third floor facing the "quad" (the open area around the dining hall). We went back outside and found daddy waiting with suitcases and boxes. His shirt was already wet with sweat, and he was grumbling about the humidity. We each took some stuff and carried it inside.
Now I should mention that my dorm is co-ed. Boys live at one end of the hall, and girls live at the other end with a central lounge and the elevators between them. I don't remember if Mom or I had actually told Daddy that my dorm was co-ed. If we had, he'd been in denial up to that point, because I thought he was going to have a heart attack when he realized that there were BOYS moving into the same building. And then he really got upset when he realized that there would be boys on the same floor, not even every other floor. I swear, he can be so "Leave-it-to-Beaver" sometimes!
Anyway, my Mom finally convinced him that everything would be fine. I led the way down the hall towards my new room. I have to admit that despite the heat, I was so excited I ran down the hall ahead of my parents. Good thing too!
I found my room. There were two name tags on the door. One said "Michelle" and one said "Angel". As I put the key in the lock, I wondered what my new roommate would be like. I swung the door open and I froze in my tracks.
For a moment all I could do was stare at the naked bodies in front of me. He was behind her with his hands on her hips, one foot on the floor, one knee on the bed. She was bent over, with one knee on the bed also, supporting her weight on her hands.
Their bodies glistened with sweat. As I watched I saw his crimson penis disappear into her body and emerge again as he pulled her violently towards him and pushed her away. His head was bowed forward and sweat dripped from his face onto her body. His muscled chest and arms heaved with the effort of forcing himself into her.
Her heavy breasts hung from her chest and swung back and forth obscenely with every thrust. Her head was thrown back, her eyes closed and her teeth clenched as if in pain from the effort of receiving him. Beads of sweat fell from her hard nipples as she groaned and whimpered under his onslaught, but she matched each thrust, pushing herself back against him and then pulling forward, only to force her backside into his hips again.
It felt like an eternity, but I took in this lewd scene in only a second. Suddenly, he stopped moving and looked right at me, his jaw dropped, his face and chest blushed scarlet. Her moaning stopped and her chest heaved with the effort to breath in the stifling air. She looked up at me, and brushed her sweat soaked hair from her face. "Hi!" she panted.
I slammed the door.
"What's wrong dear?" my mom asked coming up behind me. Oh wow did I need to think fast! But I couldn't get the image of those two naked bodies out of my mind. All I could see was that sweaty skin. But I HAD to think of something to get my parents away from there. If they saw what I had seen, I'd be lucky to go to community college! They'd probably send me to a convent!
"Come on Michelle, open the door and let's put this stuff down." Daddy prompted. He still wasn't happy about the situation.
"Mr. Bananas!" I blurted unable to think of anything else.
"What about him?" my mother asked.
"He's still down in the car."
"So?" asked my father.
"It's just that... well, it won't really feel like home unless Mr. Bananas is here. I uh... I want him to be the first thing I take in with me."
"Oh for Pete's sake, Michelle, just unlock the door!" my father practically yelled. My mother said something to soothe him and told me to run down stairs and get Mr. Bananas while they waited there.
"No!" I exclaimed, still picturing those naked bodies. What if they came out of the room while I was gone? "Uh... What if, um... What if my roommate shows up while I'm gone? You guys would get to meet her first. That's not fair." It wasn't much of an excuse, but it worked. I think Daddy must have been feeling a little guilty about being so cranky, because he gave in, and they both went back downstairs with me.
Once the immediate danger was over, my brain shut down. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd seen. It was so horrible, and so obscene, but at the same time I was oddly thrilled by how naughty it was. I kept re-playing the scene over and over again in my head. At the time I thought I was just sweaty, but now that I think about it, I think I got a little wet down there.
Anyway, my brilliant display of mental agility was over. I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn't convince my parents to just head home and let me move in on my own. They absolutely insisted on coming back up to my room with me. I walked back down the hall much slower this time, Mr. Bananas in hand. My parents were right behind me, and if I opened the door and found them still having sex, there would be no way to keep my parents from seeing. My heart was pounding in my chest as I opened the door.
"Hi! You must be Michelle. I'm Angel." She was dressed. She was alone. Thank God!
Angel is also a freshman. She's a little shorter than I am, but she has a great body. She has chestnut hair and green eyes and her ears move when she smiles. When we met her, she was wearing a tank top (no bra) and cut off blue jeans with sandals. She was still sweaty, but that wasn't at all strange, given the heat. She's majoring in Psychology, and my parents liked her immediately. If only they knew what I knew!
She only lives about a half hour from the University, and she had arrived early in the morning. She was waiting for me to arrive before she started arranging the furniture. She asked me which bed I wanted and she smiled when I immediately chose the one by the window... the one she hadn't been using.
Finally everything was moved in and my parents said good-bye and left for the long ride home.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Angel said when we were alone. "I really thought I could get in a quick fuck before you got here. He was so freaked when you walked in on us, he lost his hard-on like, immediately and just pulled on his shorts and ran! He didn't even take the condom off!" she laughed.
Her language took me by surprise. "Uh... that's ok. Was that your um, boyfriend?"
"Him? No. My boyfriend goes to another school. But I saw that guy walking across the lobby with his shirt off and- Oh god!" She collapsed onto her bed, "His chest was so cut and he was so gorgeous, I just HAD to have his cock in me. You understand right?" "Wait a minute... so you have a boyfriend, but you just met this guy that you don't even know and you made love to him?" I asked.
"You want a beer?" Angel asked opening her mini-fridge, ignoring my question. I can't believe how lucky I was that my mom didn't open that fridge after making such a big deal about how cute it was.
"Uh, no thanks. I don't drink."
"You don't drink? Great! Next I suppose you're going to tell me you're a virgin." My reaction must have given me away. "Oh My God! You ARE a virgin, aren't you? Oh you poor thing."
I was starting to get a little worried about my roommate, and I started thinking I was going to have to move. I tried to explain about not being ready, and making out with guys in high school but wanting to wait for the right guy. My arguments sounded a little weak. She came back with all this stuff about enjoying my body and not being a prisoner to old-fashioned values and living in the moment. Angel is so comfortable with her body and with sex. She seemed so mature and so confident, and I felt like a little girl trying to explain my invisible friend.
She asked me if I had ever even seen a "cock". I told her that I had seen "penises" before, but I had to think about it... there were the photos in high school sex-ed, and there was that boy a few minutes ago; I saw his.
Angel told me that didn't count, and she got another beer out of the fridge. This time I took a sip when she offered it to me, just to prove that I could act grown-up too. Just then Jason, the RA (Resident Assistant - an upper classman who lives in the freshman dorms to act kind of like an advisor), knocked on our door. It was half open, so he just came right in, just as I was tasting beer for the first time!
"Hi Angel!" he said. Looking at me as I quickly tried to hide the bottle behind my back, he said "I didn't see that. You must be Michelle. Welcome to the building. I'm Jason your RA." And he is SOOO cute!
I said Hi, and Jason told us that the whole floor was going to go down for dinner together that night as a get-to-know-you thing. We were meeting in the lounge. Angel and I went, after we shared the beer and upacked. I didn't like the beer that much, but I drank it anyway. Maybe that explains why I felt so odd at dinner.
I felt like everyone was looking at me, like they all KNEW I was still a virgin. I felt very small and very alone and very scared. All of the other girls seemed so experienced and so confident in their tight shorts and skirts with cleavage pushing out of their tank tops and T-shirts. I felt like I wanted to stand up a scream "I'm a virgin OK? Leave me alone!" I hurried through dinner and ran back up to my room. I grabbed Mr. Bananas and curled up on my bed sobbing. I actually started to wish that I had stayed home and gone to community college. I felt very young and inexperienced and very scared and homesick all at the same time. All I could do was cry.
It was getting dark out, maybe 8 o'clock or so when Angel came back to the room. "Hey, you awake?" she asked, sticking her head in the door. I sat up in bed and wiped the tears from my eyes as she turned on the lights. She said she didn't know when my "bed time" was! There was a knock on the door, and a boy with a duffel bag walked right in.
"Michelle, this is Dave, my boyfriend. He doesn't have to be back at school for another week, so he came over for a visit." Angel introduced him.
Dave is a nice guy. He's cute and athletic, but he looks very scholarly in his glasses. He said hi, and we talked for a while and drank some beer and played some music. I found out that he's a Sophomore at his school, that he and Angel had been dating since his senior year of High School, and that they had just had sex in his car in the parking lot.
"You know Dave," Angel began. "Michelle is a virgin. She's never even seen a real cock before!"
I was mortified that she would so openly reveal something like that to a boy. My eyes must have been as a wide as saucers when she said that, but that was nothing compared to the shock of what she said next. "Why don't you show her yours?"
Dave seemed a bit surprised, but not really shocked. "You sure that's Ok?" he asked her... Like I wasn't even there!
"We both agreed we could see other people." Angel said. "Why should this be any different. Now whip it out, boy. Let's have a look!"
To my horror, he stood up, kicked off his shoes and dropped his shorts and boxers! When Angel told him to take off his shirt and hat too, he stood there in front of us completely naked! I buried my face in Mr. Bananas's belly and told Dave to put his clothes back on.
"Come on silly! Just take a look. It can't hurt to know what it looks like, can it?" Angel prodded trying to get me off the bed.
I finally submitted to her encouragement and sat up and looked at Dave. I tired to look as dis-interested as possible with an "Oh, that's nice" attitude. In truth, I couldn't stop staring at it! His penis hung down between his legs in front of his dangling testicle sack (I forget what it's called). It was kind of this wrinkled tube of flesh with a mushroom cap on the top. His pubic hair actually looked a lot like my own, kind of thick and crinkly, and it grew from the base of his penis down around his balls.
"You can't get a good look from way over there. Came over and take a close look." Angel started again, apparently not satisfied. "Dave doesn't mind, do you Dave?"
She practically pulled me off the bed and dragged me across the room, but I stood face to face with Dave, both of us looking down at his penis. He shot me a quick, sort of embarrassed glance, and raised an eyebrow as if to say "Just humor her."
"Come on Michelle, you can't see it from up here." She put her hands on my shoulders and I let her push me down to my knees where she joined me. We were both on our knees now in front of Dave, face to face with his penis. Angel actually reached out and took it in her fingers and moved it around so I could get a better look. Dave stared at the ceiling and submitted to this examination.
To my amazement, right there in front of me, Dave's penis started to grow! I knew they did, but actually seeing it was so strange. It got longer and thicker, and the little head swelled up as Angel played with it. She even caressed his balls, and stroked his penis like a pet. It wasn't hanging there anymore, it was sort of standing out away from his body.
"Somebody's getting excited." Angel crooned. Then I realized that she was talking to me, and that I was staring! "Go ahead and touch it. It's Ok."
Dave nodded his assent, and I reached out my fingers and gently brushed the penis. It jumped! It just jerked up suddenly and then settled back down! Dave said he couldn't control it, that it had a mind of its own. It felt soft and smooth, kind of like a stuffed toy snake made of silk. As I petted it, it continued to grow until it was about six inches long and pointing towards the ceiling. It looked SO big. I couldn't believe that women could actually hold these things inside of them. I couldn't imagine having something so big in my vagina. I thought they would be about the size of a tampon!
At Angel's prompting, I had my hand wrapped around it and was sliding the skin up and down, like I was polishing a pole with a cloth. Then Angel said it was MY turn to show him MINE! I stood up and backed away. There was no way I was going to take off my clothes and let Dave touch me! Or I thought there was no way. Angel said I'd never be comfortable with my body if I didn't get used to letting people see it. Besides, Dave let me see his. It was only fair.
Angel has confidence in everything she says. Every time I try to argue with her, she has this way of making me feel like I have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe it's because when it comes to sex, I really don't.
Anyway, I ended up taking off my top and my shorts, and standing there in my underwear. Dave's penis was still looking at the ceiling. I was so embarrassed, I just stood there and stared at the floor. Angel finally had to unhook my bra and push it off my shoulders and slide my panties down my thighs. I was completely naked. The cool night air blew through the open window and I felt my nipples pushing out. I self consciously moved one arm away from my vagina and across my chest. Angel, pushed my arm back down, and brought Dave over to stand in front of me.
Dave lifted my chin and looked me the eye. "Please don't be ashamed Michelle. You don't have anything to be ashamed of. You're absolutely beautiful." I smiled at him and relaxed my shoulders a bit.
That's when I saw Angel pulling the door closed behind her. "You two have fun!" she called. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." As if! I realized I was all alone, and completely naked with my roommate's boyfriend. This just had to be wrong! This wasn't who I was. I felt so dirty, and so ashamed and so bad... but I didn't want to stop.
"Can I touch your body?" Dave asked, pulling me back from my guilt trip. I said he could. I don't know why I said yes, but I did. He gently ran his finger tips down my shoulder and chest to my breasts. No one had ever touched me like this before. It was so amazing. I felt tingly and numb all over. He told me I had nice breasts. I said they weren't as big as Angel's but he said he liked them anyway, that a lot of guys like smaller breasts.
He asked if I wanted to sit down on the bed. He was very quick to add that we didn't have to do anything that I didn't want to do, and that it was just better than standing. We sat down Indian style, facing each other, and we leaned forward so our foreheads were touching. He took my arms in his hands and put my hands on his body. Then he began to gently caress me, running his hands from my hips, up my ribs, around my breasts, across my stomach, around the small of my back and my bottom.
I played with his penis some more, the way Angel had showed me, but he told me I could touch him all over if I wanted, I didn't have to just touch his penis. I did, and his muscles and skin felt so nice. He was taut and well built and I liked touching his body. It gave me a sense of togetherness, like we were the only two people in the world, and we were experiencing each other completely.
I guess this went on for a while; I didn't look at a clock. Eventually, he ran his fingers up the inside of my thigh, to the patch of pubic hair between my legs. As his fingers drifted over my clitoris, I felt a sensation like nothing I've felt before... not even when I touched myself there. It was like all of the touching and all of the caressing had been concentrated in to that one single instant. I leaned my head back and heard myself moan. His fingers drifted down to my exposed vagina and when they emerged, he left a wet trail of my own lubricant on my stomach.
"Somebody's getting excited." he smirked. And I knew it was true. I finally had a name for this wet, itchy feeling I'd had in the pit of stomach before. Now I knew what caused it. It was desire, and I wanted to satisfy it... but I was still conflicted. I kept touching Dave's body and he kept touching mine as I fought back and forth with myself. How far did I want this to go? His fingers wandered back down across my clitoris again. Desire won. Ok, I thought, let's get this over with. Maybe it won't be so bad.
"Make love to me before I change my mind." I whispered as I laid back on the bed and spread my legs apart for him.
He smiled. "Michelle we can't make love if we're not IN love. But we can fuck if you want to."
"Whatever." I said and closed my eyes and waited for him to take my virginity. I felt his weight shifting on the bed as he leaned up over me. I winced a bit, expecting him to force that big penis into me at any moment, but he didn't. He kissed me on the neck. Well, he didn't really kiss me, he sort of nibbled me moving his teeth and lips up and down my neck from behind my ear to my shoulder. I REALLY liked it, even more than his caresses. It felt so erotic and so sensual... even more than kissing on the lips. I kept my eyes closed, but I loosened up considerably. I rolled my head to one side to give him better access, and I even gasped a little bit.
I guess he was encouraged, because one hand moved to my naked hip, and slid up my ribs to my breast. He took the whole thing in his hand and squeezed and fondled it. He rolled my nipple around in the palm of his hand while he continued to nibble my neck. I'd never had my breast massaged like that! It was incredible!
His mouth moved down my shoulder across my chest to my other breast. As he fondled one, he licked and kissed the other. I opened my eyes and looked down to see him licking my nipple, his tongue flicking across it rapidly. By this time I was really getting excited. I could feel my vagina getting wetter and opening up. I could feel the heat of his body so close to mine. I was so excited my heart was pounding in my chest as he suckled my nipple. "Do me Dave." I pleaded. "Please, I want it now."
He smiled and climbed off of me and off the bed. I sat up on my elbows to watch him pull a condom from his bag. His penis was standing out from his body hard and firm, and it bobbed when he walked. My heart was still racing as I watched him roll the blue latex sheath down the length of his penis. He came back and climbed back on top me. I spread my legs apart even further, and closed my eyes as I felt the head of his penis pressing against me.
"This may hurt a little." he said working the head inside my vagina. "You sure you're ready?" I kept my eyes closed and nodded vigorously. I didn't want to be a virgin anymore. He began to press forward into me. I felt my body stretching to accommodate him... then I felt it stop. He kept pressing forward and then suddenly there was a sharp pain between my legs, like when you pull out a hang nail. I tried not to cry out, but it really did hurt.
"Are you all right? Do you want me to keep going?" he asked. I bit my lip and nodded again. He pulled his penis out and slowly worked it in again. This time my body kept stretching for him and he pushed farther before withdrawing. The pressure of his penis inside of me felt nice. It eased the pain, kind of like when you hold a bruise, and as he worked his way in and out I found myself longing for him to go deeper and stay in longer. I didn't want him to pull back out.
Then it occurred to me, I was fucking!
The thought snapped my eyes open. He was looking down at me and smiling. "Hi." he panted.
"Hi." I said back. I tried to look down at myself to see what was happening, what it looked like down there.
"Do you just want to lie there while I do all the work?" Dave asked. "'Cause that's Ok if you do."
I hadn't realized I should be doing anything. I was a little embarrassed. He told me to wrap my legs around him and hold his butt or his shoulders so that I could pull myself into him while he pushed forward.
Oh it was wonderful! Suddenly I could control how deep and how fast he went! I held him inside of me and rocked my hips back and forth so that my clitoris was brushing against his penis. That felt so incredible! The pressure of his penis deep inside of me while my clitoris was being rubbed that way, and his naked chest pressed against my breasts. I couldn't stand it. Soon I was panting from the exertion too, and with each thrust I would gasp and moan. It felt so nice!
I tried to tell him how wonderful it was, but I couldn't seem to get the words out. "Oh Dave! Oh God Dave... It's so good... I didn't know... I didn't know it would be like this. Oh Dave... Oh yess!"
He smiled and told me how hot I was and how tight and wet my pussy felt. I looked down to see us again, but our bodies were pressed too tightly together.
"Oh Dave, I want to see it... I want to see you inside of me. I want to see you fucking me!" I moaned.
He stopped moving and pulled out of me. For a second I was worried that I had upset when I used the "F" word, but then he said, "Ok, why don't you get on top." He rolled over and laid down on his back, his blue clad penis leaning towards his belly. I straddled his hips on my knees, and he held his penis straight up as he explained to me how to ease myself down on to it.
By this time, we were both sweating, and my hair was a mess. I pushed the wet strands back out of my face as I slowly impaled myself on his penis. It filled me up completely and I sank all the way down until my pubic hair was touching his. I watched this in amazement, and then straightened my legs and lifted myself off of him again. I moved up and down, over and over again, faster and faster, watching him disappear inside of me. I closed my eyes and put my hands over my stomach between my belly button and my vagina and felt his penis moving inside of me. I started moaning and panting. "Oh oh oh oh unh unh unh yeah oh yeah oh I didn't know I didn't know Oh God I didn't know!"
Dave took my hips in his hands and pulled me down hard onto him and lifted me faster than I could have myself, and he thrust his hips up into me to match my movements. "That's it baby, ride my cock! Ride my cock baby, oh yeah, that's so good, oh yeah ride me baby."
The air was thick and hard to breathe. My thighs were burning from the exercise, sweat was pouring from my body and I had to keep pushing my hair out of my face, but I couldn't stop. Some other power had taken over my body and all I could do was move up and down and up and down. My breasts were bouncing on my chest with every thrust. They started to hurt from all the bouncing, but I didn't care. All I cared about was feeling that penis in my belly and keeping it deep inside of me. I couldn't even speak any more, all I could do was groan and gasp with each thrust.
Below me, Dave's body glistened with sweat, he was moaning too, but he kept talking to me. "Oh that's it baby! Fuck yeah, ride my cock. Oh that's it... I'm almost there baby. Oh you're so hot you're going to make me come! You gonna come baby? You gonna come with me?"
He started moving his hands up my body, and he took my bouncing breasts in both hands and squeezed them tight. My own movement caused them to move against my chest while he supported them, and this sent me over the edge.
Suddenly, my head was swimming. Everything seemed to blur together and I totally lost control of my body. My head thrashed back and forth, my back arched, my arms flailed, my fingers clutched at the bed sheets and I screamed and screamed and screamed. I was having an ORGASM! It was SOO incredible, like this wave of pleasure and emotion just washed over me and swept away my body like a rag doll in the ocean.
When it was over I collapsed onto his chest. I found that I was crying and panting and I kissed his cheeks and neck and shoulders sobbing the whole time "I didn't know... I didn't know."
He just held me and stroked my sweaty hair. I don't know how much time passed before Angel walked in... probably only a few minutes. She didn't knock, just came right in.
"Wow! You two put on quite a show!" she said cryptically. I was suddenly very conscious of her boyfriend's penis still in my vagina, and my own nudity. Dave and I both looked up, but we didn't move too much. Except for my butt, I concealed my privates against his body.
"What do you mean babe? How'd you know we were done?" Dave asked.
"How'd I know? The whole quad knew!" she exclaimed pointing towards the open window right next to my bed.
Without thinking, I sat bolt upright and looked out the window, my hands braced on either side of the frame. Outside a throng of people was looking up at me. In the building across the quad every window had someone's head leaning out, looking my direction. Some of them had binoculars and cameras. As I sat there stunned, the crowds began to whistle and cheer and mimic my screams of ecstasy.
I was too mortified to move. All of these people had seen me sitting there naked! They had seen me lie back and offer myself to Dave and they had seen him take my virginity. They saw me climb on top of him and they saw me in my uncontrollable orgasm. All I could do was stare back at them, still naked, still exposed, with my mouth hanging open. This must have been what Angel's first lover felt when I walked in on them. It took the flashes of the cameras to snap me back to my senses.
By this time, Dave had gotten up and moved away from the window. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide. All I could do was collapse and clutch the bed sheets to my body to conceal myself. In an uncontrollable fit of sobbing, I couldn't make my body work. I was so humiliated, and so embarrassed my brain just shut down. Angel pulled the blinds closed and sat down next to me to comfort me. She laid my head in her lap, and stroked my sweat soaked hair.
"Hey, come on... It's ok... Come on, don't cry," she tried to comfort me. "It's not that bad."
I wanted to scream! I wanted to ask her how the hell she would know. But all I could do was sob and gasp at the stifling air in the room.
"Look," she said, "I've flashed lots of guys. It never hurt my reputation any. A lot of times it made me new friends."
I bet!
"Besides," she continued, "the light was behind you. You were just a silouette on the window screen. I was out there. If I didn't know this was our room, I never would have recognized you."
Yeah right.
"And the guys out in the quad had a lousy angle anyway. All they could see was from the waist up."
That was supposed to make me feel better? I think she honestly thought she was comforting me. I don't remember much more of what she said. Lying curled up in the sheets, naked and sticky from my own sweat and fluids, I must have cried myself to sleep.
It was still dark when I woke up still naked, but the light from outside filtered through the blinds enough for me to see Angel and Dave across the room making love on her bed. Dave was on his knees, leaning way back on his hands. Angel was in the same position with her knees straddling Dave. They were joined at the pelvis and thrusting into one another desperately.
"Oh yeah, fuck me baby!" Angel hissed trying to keep her voice down to avoid waking me. Little did she know. "Gimme that cock. Oh! Oh! Yeah! Uhn! Come on, fuck me hard... Fuck me like you fucked my little roommate's virgin pussy. Oh Yeah! Just like that baby." Dave was grunting quietly as he took her again.
Her large breasts were jumping all over her chest as she pushed herself down on his cock over and over and over again. The muscles in his arms and chest bulged with the effort of supporting both of their weight. I couldn't help but watch, and worse, I couldn't help but wish that it was me over there with Dave's penis inside of me. As I watched them, I felt very empty inside, like something was missing, like there was a big hole in me that needed to be filled. I wanted to make love to Dave again so bad. But I didn't dare let them know I was awake.
As Angel started to orgasm, I reached down and touched myself, delicately this time, like Dave had... not the clumsy prodding attempts at masturbation from high school. I was wet. I knew I would be. Angel gave up and screamed her ecstasy, moaning and panting as she came down from her climax. She and Dave wrapped their arms around each other and he still hadn't taken his penis out of her when I fell asleep again.
It was after 10 when I woke up this morning, naked still. I was physically and emotionally exhausted from everything that happened yesterday, and I needed the sleep. I still feel sore between my legs. I don't know if it's from losing my virginity, or just the exercise of being on top. Angel and Dave were gone when I woke. I just wanted to go home. If there was a phone in the room I would have called Daddy and asked him to come right back and pick me up. But he wouldn't come if I was just homesick, and I NEVER could have told him the truth!
The nearest phone is in the lounge anyway and I didn't want people on the floor to see me crying when I called my father. I'm not a little girl anymore.
I was afraid to go down to the dining hall for breakfast, but I was starving. Hunger finally got the better of me and I decided if people were going to laugh and point and call me a slut, I'd better get it over with.
To my surprise, no one paid me any special attention. No one pointed, no one laughed. Maybe Angel was right. Maybe no one would recognize me.
I did hear people talking about "the girl in the window"... lots of people actually... but nobody seemed to realize it was me. To my surprise, all of the guys talked about how hot she was and wanting to do her! The girls said some pretty mean things about me, but for some reason it didn't bother me. Whenever I heard a girl say something catty, I couldn't help thinking she was jealous, or that she was still a virgin and didn't know what she was talking about.
Now I'M a woman. I'M experienced. All of those mousy little girls in their long skirts and high collars are still virgins, but I'M not. I felt suddenly mature and confident. It was such a change from just a day before! I ate brunch with people from my hall, and we talked and we laughed and I made a lot of new friends today. After we ate, we all went to the bookstore together and hung out on the commons and got to know the campus better. Classes start in just a few days, but I feel like I've gotten my best education in the first 24 hours.
There's a freshman dance tonight. Angel just came back from her house with more luggage. She and Dave will be going to the Dance and I just know that Angel has more she can teach me. I've had a taste of sex and I know I want more!... just maybe with a little more privacy next time. Well, gotta go get changed for the dance. I'll have to shoo Dave out into the hall. After all, a girl has to have some principles! Hopefully, I'll have more to write soon.
-
Dear Diary,
I’m Broken! no understands the pain im in. how can they? i never tell anyone. I don’t want to live in fear anymore. anything can happen in one split second. im pulling away. into a deep black hole that no one can pull me back from. everything is falling apart. what else can i do? the black hole seems like a safe haven compared to the life im living now. all the shit that’s weighing me down. that will always weigh me down. i cant face the monsters ive made. theyll eat me alive. i need to hide from the monsters before they take me but i guess they already did. no one knows how to help me and i dont think they ever will. no they never will. ive lost my mind as well as my sanity. my life is no longer my own. maybe it never was. no it never was. i thought i had control of my life but i was so, so wrong. Broken is what i am. Broken is all ill ever be. i never thought that losing my life would be so painful. PAIN is all know. no one will ever know this pain i feel in my heart. i have to protect the ones i love from my monsters i made. i made this mess that i cant clean up. im trapped forever. FOREVER. to think that i was once a happy girl and now im the black hole. the darkness is always over me though i hide it well. sometimes i feel like i dont hide it well at all. but no one seems to notice anything. maybe they do but never say anything. i think its worst when someone notices that im upset. then they try to make me feel better when i just want to be sad as hell. well i dont know anymore. i just want to be left alone. no one will let me be alone though.
Later.
-
Well, that is random
-
Second career, next to being a lawyer. Writing harlequin novels under a pseudonym?
-
Second career, next to being a lawyer. Writing harlequin novels under a pseudonym?
Whatever pays the bills ;)
-
Second career, next to being a lawyer. Writing harlequin novels under a pseudonym?
Whatever pays the bills ;)
Plagiarism never pays the bills. :zoinks:
-
Sure it does :heisenberg:
-
Sure it does :heisenberg:
But you might need a good lawyer. :zoinks:
-
I wonder where I could find one. :apondering:
-
I wonder where I could find one. :apondering:
One needs to be smart about things like this. Entangled interests and such. :M
-
Would a schizophraenic lawyer be able to sue and defend at the same time?
-
Interesting thought.
There should be a series exploring that concept.
-
Would a schizophraenic lawyer be able to sue and defend at the same time?
Let's find out! :viking:
-
There was one scene where two nuns made out.
That scene was never revisited and added absolutely no value to the plot or characters. It was there purely for the extremely HAWT kink-effect.
Some TV shows are delicacies..... while other TV shows are the entertainment equivalent of cheap addictive candy.
-
Would a schizophraenic lawyer be able to sue and defend at the same time?
Let's find out! :viking:
Suit yourself: Utah court lets woman sue herself over fatal wreck
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/02/19/utah-appeals-court-allows-woman-to-sue-herself-over-fatal-car-crash/
-
Would a schizophraenic lawyer be able to sue and defend at the same time?
Let's find out! :viking:
Suit yourself: Utah court lets woman sue herself over fatal wreck
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/02/19/utah-appeals-court-allows-woman-to-sue-herself-over-fatal-car-crash/
Suing oneself is not the same as representing both sides in a dispute. That case was a necessary legal-loophole already recognized in other states. I don't click on fauxnews links, but hopefully it explained that.
-
why don't you click on fox news links?
-
why don't you click on fox news links?
Because it's mostly fake bullshit that makes my blood pressure rise.
-
why don't you click on fox news links?
Because it's mostly fake bullshit that makes my blood pressure rise.
makes sense. they were practically the only one to cover that story.
-
why don't you click on fox news links?
Because it's mostly fake bullshit that makes my blood pressure rise.
makes sense. they were practically the only one to cover that story.
Fox cancelled Firefly and their "news" is buried deep in pure bullshit. Oh, and they made X-men Origins: Wolverine and X-men: The Last Stand. :grrr:
Not a big fan of that corporation, or Murdoch for that matter. He owns another Daily Mail-esque newspaper called The Sun which is basically the newspaper equivalent of Fox News. Full of hateful and downright insane bullshit. :grrr:
-
I like 20th Century Fox the movie company, though.
-
I like 20th Century Fox the movie company, though.
Again, they made X-men Origins: Wolverine and X-men: The Last Stand. Butchering the Phoenix Sage, butchering the characters of Wolverine, Deadpool and a few other fan-favourite mutants.
Of course, Days of Future Past came along and fixed everything. It appears that Brian Singer has a mutant power of his own, the power to make Brett Rattner disappear. :asthing:
I'll never forgive Fox for cancelling Firefly though. They took the sky from me before I even realized I had it :'( :grrr:
-
They distributed Star Wars. :vader:
-
They distributed Star Wars. :vader:
But they also distributed the "other Star Wars" that we do not speak of. :GA:
-
They distributed Star Wars. :vader:
But they also distributed the "other Star Wars" that we do not speak of. :GA:
:autism: I :autism: II :autism: III?
-
They distributed Star Wars. :vader:
But they also distributed the "other Star Wars" that we do not speak of. :GA:
:autism: I :autism: II :autism: III?
:grrr:
I know who you are, I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money or anything of value in general but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career of being a Star Wars fan. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you deny the existence of the "other films" now that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pester you...But if you don't I will look for you, I will find you...And I will kill you.
-
They distributed Star Wars. :vader:
But they also distributed the "other Star Wars" that we do not speak of. :GA:
:autism: I :autism: II :autism: III?
:grrr:
I know who you are, I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money or anything of value in general but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career of being a Star Wars fan. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you deny the existence of the "other films" now that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pester you...But if you don't I will look for you, I will find you...And I will kill you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAp9sFVdERQ
-
They distributed Star Wars. :vader:
But they also distributed the "other Star Wars" that we do not speak of. :GA:
:autism: I :autism: II :autism: III?
:grrr:
I know who you are, I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money or anything of value in general but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career of being a Star Wars fan. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you deny the existence of the "other films" now that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pester you...But if you don't I will look for you, I will find you...And I will kill you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAp9sFVdERQ
A more appropriate response would have been:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zNdw4DaUM8
-
I like the cuddly ewoks. :zoinks:
-
I like the cuddly ewoks. :zoinks:
"Hello Mr. Ewok, would you like a hug?"
Mr. Ewok: :finger:
"O_O"
-
Moretti's three-part movie-essay is structured as a wry, affectionate and very funny odyssey through the Roman suburbs, the Aeolian Isles, and the Italian health system. Relaxed and leisurely, it's an effortless blend of documentary and fiction, part road movie, part sociological satire, part polemical reminiscence. As Moretti travels around, investigating and commenting, he manages to provoke not only laughter, but the sense that we are seeing Italy anew. Accordingly, just as he includes offbeat gags about, say, movie critics being fed a taste of their own medicine, so when he drives to the site of Pasolini's murder, he forces us simply to look and listen, to take in light, space, shape, movement and music; in other words, to recognise the essence of cinema shorn of story and superfluous stylistic tropes. That's no mean achievement in these days of narrative and technological overkill, though the movie is too modest to insist even on its own quirkiness, let alone its more serious subtextual concerns.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqxOBrF-HpQ
-
"O_O"
Which is very similar to:
-_-
Which is the symbol for Cylons on these forums...Meaning...As all of the other models have been revealed...
YOU'RE THE FINAL CYLON!! :zombiefuck:
I should have known from the very beginning...I was just too blind to see it! :tinfoil:
Guards, throw him out of the airlock! :MLA:
-
:boobs:
-
Oh, and
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/58/66/e9/5866e96be50aa91e37bd0dbbaa1229d3.jpg)
-
Oh, and
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/58/66/e9/5866e96be50aa91e37bd0dbbaa1229d3.jpg)
If she's a Cylon and thus her tan, boobs, nails and hair are therefore designed/built does it count as fake even if she hasn't made any changes to it after being downloaded? :apondering:
-
(http://www.memecreator.org/static/images/memes/519519.jpg)
-
(http://www.memecreator.org/static/images/memes/519519.jpg)
Are you saying Kate Middleton is a Cylon? :zombiefuck:
-
(http://www.memecreator.org/static/images/memes/519519.jpg)
Are you saying Kate Middleton is a Cylon? :zombiefuck:
:mischief:
-
(http://www.memecreator.org/static/images/memes/519519.jpg)
Are you saying Kate Middleton is a Cylon? :zombiefuck:
:mischief:
Are the whole royal family Cylons?! :zombiefuck: :zombiefuck: :zombiefuck: :zombiefuck:
Fuck, what if the whole British govt are Cylons!? :zombiefuck: :zombiefuck:
-
Nope. They are morons but that's the extent of it.
-
Nope. They are morons but that's the extent of it.
Pretty sure they are Cylons. Explains their contempt for human beings and living things in general that aren't them.
-
You may find this hard to believe but it is entirely possible to display these symptoms and still be a human being. In fact, it is quite common.
-
I should go to bed instead of posting this. There, is this random enough?
-
You may find this hard to believe but it is entirely possible to display these symptoms and still be a human being. In fact, it is quite common.
It's most common in people involved in politics or banking. People who could easily...BE FRAKING CYLONS!! :zombiefuck:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW7Op86ox9g
-
What's this about Cylons again? You should stop watching remakes.
-
What's this about Cylons again? You should stop watching remakes.
Maybe it's not Cylons, maybe it's lizard people or something. :tinfoil: :tinfoil:
-
I have allowed my beard to grow long again.
... about three inches, now and I think I look distinguished, like a Civil war era General ... in my dreams ...
It is not yet pure grey, but I DO look more like Santa Clause than General Lee.
:zoinks:
-
I am still keeping it long for now!
-
Doesn't it itch?
-
Doesn't it itch?
NO. It itches way less than when it was barely an inch long or less.
I am more conscious of the weight and the response to wind, mostly. I think I look good.
I have a General Lee look. (My wife still insists it is more Santa Clause).
... basic Civil war era manly fashion statement; can not go wrong here!
:viking:
-
:plus:
If it works, good for you.
-
:plus:
If it works, good for you.
Thanks.
Oddly, there may be an issue that could possibly interfere with any satisfaction I might take enjoying my "manly fashion statement."
As it grows in more fully (I think it looks great and I want to keep it, but ...) in my peripheral vision I can SEE it. Sometimes when I look down, I am startled because I think I am about to trip over something, but it is only that I can see my beard.
:GA:
Strange feeling to almost trip over something that turns out to be connected to ones face.
-
http://mashable.com/2015/05/04/poop-beards-study/
Don't read any further if you love your whiskers.
Despite those who take great pride in their facial hair, no amount of grooming can overcome the dirty truth of science. Your beard may contain the same bacteria found in poop, according to a recent study.
See also: The Best Type of Beard for Your Face
Local news station KOAT 7 put facial hair hygiene to the test in a study performed by Quest Diagnostics in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The laboratory took swabs of a handful of volunteer beards and tested them for cleanliness. The results did not bode well for our bearded brethren.
Though some of the samples contained a lot of bacteria that's considered normal, the others were comparable to toilets. John Golobic, a microbiologist for Quest Diagnostics, told KOAT 7 that the lab results revealed the same kind of bacteria "you'd find in (fecal matter)." However, a much larger sample size would be necessary to confirm that the average beard is as dirty as a toilet.
The bacteria revealed won't cause any illnesses, unless you count the kind where you fall ill from locking lips with a toilet. Regardless, it will certainly make potential kissers think twice before smooching some stubble.
-
:zoinks:
I can see how some people, who are unhygienic from the start can become colonized by bacteria. I am not one of those, however. I bathe every day and scrub my hands often, most especially after using the toilet. Fairly certain I am not introducing bacteria from my anus to my face.
I understand that hair on any part of the body can sport all kinds of infectious pathogens. Hair is warm, absorbent, moist especially close to skin and if one does not practice good hygiene in general, the most likely place to find bacteria, considering that people can not help but constantly handle their hair, IS their hair.
The subject of unclean folds of the body and the dangers of NOT keeping them cleaned very often, we can save for another time.
:blah:
-
people, who are unhygienic
That was my line of thinking too, the test group of 'a small handful of volunteer beards'. If it's really a common problem with facial hair, then it's a problem with hair on head as well.
-
people, who are unhygienic
That was my line of thinking too, the test group of 'a small handful of volunteer beards'. If it's really a common problem with facial hair, then it's a problem with hair on head as well.
IIRC there have been tests on lots of things in bathrooms. No matter how far away from the toilet bowl, as long as it is not as hard and smooth as porcelain or chrome, it will be covered with faecal bacteria.
So, it will be in lots of places you don't want it. Probably in clothing and all kinds of hair and on various spaces of skin. Washing hands thoroughly is what you can do. Because hands are everywhere.
-
Have not been keeping my toothbrushes in the bathroom for years now. Not directly because of those tests on faecal bacteria. But that was a reason not to have them back in the bathroom.
I lived in houses with no toilet in the bathing room most of my life. I liked that a whole lot better. Alas, that is not the case in this house.
-
people, who are unhygienic
That was my line of thinking too, the test group of 'a small handful of volunteer beards'. If it's really a common problem with facial hair, then it's a problem with hair on head as well.
Yup, any hair is subject to becoming colonized by bacteria, I am sure. I can only barely imagine how terribly filthy some of the hair on long haired people can tend to be. I have a "nose like a dog" so to speak in terms of some of my sensory issues and I can often smell people (including their hair) from five or ten feet away. I hold my breath and walk away at ninety degree angles, as if I was avoiding a tornado.
:poo:
-
Have not been keeping my toothbrushes in the bathroom for years now. Not directly because of those tests on faecal bacteria. But that was a reason not to have them back in the bathroom.
I lived in houses with no toilet in the bathing room most of my life. I liked that a whole lot better. Alas, that is not the case in this house.
The issue is; just how "airborne" can things like E. coli become in an environment of super high humidity.
In our house both toilets are in little cubby spaces and I have taught my kids to always close the toilet before flushing. NONE of this typical bullshit about just putting the seat down for the girls, which seems to be the first fight between a man and a woman attempting to co-habitate. I have taught everyone, including MY WIFE to close the damn thing entirely before flushing, not just continue to expect the seat to be down every time she goes in there. It should always be closed!
Not sure how much it helps, but at least some of the "spray" from flushing is not sent directly into the air. I think the little cubby space enclosed around the toilets helps as well.
Seriously, though, how long can E. coli live in a "room temperature" environment, assuming that it has not hitched a ride on a warm, moist, filthy human being? I suspect, much longer than we would be comfortable knowing.
:tinfoil:
-
Have not been keeping my toothbrushes in the bathroom for years now. Not directly because of those tests on faecal bacteria. But that was a reason not to have them back in the bathroom.
I lived in houses with no toilet in the bathing room most of my life. I liked that a whole lot better. Alas, that is not the case in this house.
The issue is; just how "airborne" can things like E. coli become in an environment of super high humidity.
In our house both toilets are in little cubby spaces and I have taught my kids to always close the toilet before flushing. NONE of this typical bullshit about just putting the seat down for the girls, which seems to be the first fight between a man and a woman attempting to co-habitate. I have taught everyone, including MY WIFE to close the damn thing entirely before flushing, not just continue to expect the seat to be down every time she goes in there. It should always be closed!
Not sure how much it helps, but at least some of the "spray" from flushing is not sent directly into the air. I think the little cubby space enclosed around the toilets helps as well.
Seriously, though, how long can E. coli live in a "room temperature" environment, assuming that it has not hitched a ride on a warm, moist, filthy human being? I suspect, much longer than we would be comfortable knowing.
:tinfoil:
But still, the human race is not extinct. And most E. coli bacteria we can deal with. There are these few really nasty ones.
Does not mean that we should not take hygiene serious, just that there is no need to panic.
-
I somehow ended up on photos of tattoos of kids drawings. :orly:
(http://img05.deviantart.net/3799/i/2011/244/5/7/kids_marker_drawing_by_bobeck-d48j7ih.jpg)
(https://thewilliamsfamilyblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/2009267553_45e50573d4.jpg)
(http://img12.deviantart.net/64ec/i/2011/173/7/1/childrens_drawing_by_asuss06-d3jnhm0.jpg)
-
I somehow ended up on photos of tattoos of kids drawings. :orly:
(http://img05.deviantart.net/3799/i/2011/244/5/7/kids_marker_drawing_by_bobeck-d48j7ih.jpg)
(https://thewilliamsfamilyblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/2009267553_45e50573d4.jpg)
(http://img12.deviantart.net/64ec/i/2011/173/7/1/childrens_drawing_by_asuss06-d3jnhm0.jpg)
That is really creative :)
-
I think Matthew's dinosaur is especially good. :orly:
-
I think Matthew's dinosaur is especially good. :orly:
Yes, that was the best. I was debating whether it was a praying mantis or a crocodile. Dinosaur is probably what it is.
-
That's *different*.
:GA:
-
Whatever happened to Baby Jane? I ate her.
-
Whatever happened to Baby Jane? I ate her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAp9sFVdERQ&
-
Suppose that the little green hamsters that secretly run all the rubber chicken factories in the world and the llamas that control all the pencil sharpener businesses in the world are at war. In this scenario, how many penguins does it take to build a catapult capable of launching a sloth to Mars?
-
Suppose that the little green hamsters that secretly run all the rubber chicken factories in the world and the llamas that control all the pencil sharpener businesses in the world are at war. In this scenario, how many penguins does it take to build a catapult capable of launching a sloth to Mars?
spaghetti
-
Meh :[
-
is this a test?
a chest mess?
alas for organization!
-
Birds do not have teeth
Birds can fly
I have teeth
I am not a bird
Therefore I cannot fly
-
Everybody can fly for a little while. :M
-
numinocity
moominocity
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJfPV7HU1IM
-
-
Yes.
-
-
new hammer everything is a nail
-
new hammer everything is a nail
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.
Yes I would.
If I could,
I surely would.
That's from "El Condor Pasa." You're welcome. :M :P
-
I'd rather be a cat than a sparrow. :M
-
how about howell howl frozen hot cement face?
-
My stoner neighbor is probably a member of the Green Party. :oneliner:
-
My stoner neighbor is probably a member of the Green Party. :oneliner:
You smell no pesticides in the fumes?
-
My stoner neighbor is probably a member of the Green Party. :oneliner:
You smell no pesticides in the fumes?
I wouldn't know. Just smells like "skunky, funky, smelly green shit" to me! :stoned:
-
i don't understand it either
-
Commercials are stupid.
-
Commercials are stupid.
I find Japanese Commercials to be hilarious ^_^
-
asparagus pickles
-
asparagus pickles
Have never had pickled asparagus; sounds good.
-
asparagus pickles
Have never had pickled asparagus; sounds good.
We have a couple of jars in the pantry. May try them for Easter.
-
asparagus pickles
Have never had pickled asparagus; sounds good.
We have a couple of jars in the pantry. May try them for Easter.
Now really wanting to try them. Tend to like pickled anything. :laugh: Pickled is the only way will eat okra.
-
asparagus pickles
Have never had pickled asparagus; sounds good.
We have a couple of jars in the pantry. May try them for Easter.
Now really wanting to try them. Tend to like pickled anything. :laugh: Pickled is the only way will eat okra.
Fresh okra and sliced onion in oil and vinegar makes an excellent salad. (In the winter I use frozen whole okra just barely thawed.) Yum.
-
Ritz.
-
(http://theworstthingsforsale.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/nic-cage-personal.jpg)
-
lists list lizt
-
lists list lizt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goeOUTRy2es
-
(http://2static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Itt+vintage+memes+i+found+this+image+on+my+facebook_96782c_5752275.jpg)
-
chocolate cookie chip
chocolate ham dip
-
Pen.
-
dollar wobble
weeble waller
-
Radiator grill.
-
dollar wobble
weeble waller
Did somebody say :cbc: wobble?
-
I literally wanted to blast "I feel pretty" over the school intercom.
Yet honestly.... I would of gotten banned from the Radio Station :-/
-
You would have.
-
That's not very random.
-
I would have taken my Schizophrenia meds today, but the King of the Bunny people told me not to.
-
I would have taken my Schizophrenia meds today, but the King of the Bunny people told me not to.
Oh that's just Harvey.... he says that to everybody .-.
-
I would have taken my Schizophrenia meds today, but the King of the Bunny people told me not to.
Oh that's just Harvey.... he says that to everybody .-.
Harvey isn't a bunny. He's a pookah.
-
I would have taken my Schizophrenia meds today, but the King of the Bunny people told me not to.
Oh that's just Harvey.... he says that to everybody .-.
Harvey isn't a bunny. He's a pookah.
A pookah? WTF is a pookah? Oh wait... it must be one of those Lola Bunny Fetishes. Sheesh Harvey you cheeky bastard, you take the fun out of everything!
-
I would have taken my Schizophrenia meds today, but the King of the Bunny people told me not to.
Oh that's just Harvey.... he says that to everybody .-.
Harvey isn't a bunny. He's a pookah.
A pookah? WTF is a pookah? Oh wait... it must be one of those Lola Bunny Fetishes. Sheesh Harvey you cheeky bastard, you take the fun out of everything!
From the Wikipedia article on Harvey (the play/movie):
Harvey is a pooka, a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts (like Elwood). :bunny:
And yeah, I'm old enough to remember when it first showed on TV.
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
But a pookah is slightly over 6 foot 3 inches, white, wears a bow tie, drinks, and doesn't appear in films or plays.
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
But a pookah is slightly over 6 foot 3 inches, white, wears a bow tie, drinks, and doesn't appear in films or plays.
I really dig white guys. :zoinks:
-
Crystal Universe
By installing LEDs in three-dimensional space, it is possible to create a real-time interactive, moving 3-D artwork. teamLab employed its original Interactive 4-D Vision in creating the Crystal Universe interactive installation of a seemingly infinite number of light particles positioned in a three-dimensional space.
Viewers of the artwork can enter and walk around in the three-dimensional light space. A viewer’s entrance into the space affects all of the lights in a way that causes change to occur throughout the installation indefinitely. Meanwhile, the viewer continues to cause further change wherever in the Crystal Universe the viewer is.
The viewer, in other words, is the center of the universe and becomes one with the light and body of the installation. Viewers, moreover, may bring about change to the Crystal Universe through access from a smartphone. They merely select a universe element, face the Crystal Universe, and swipe toward the installation to add the selected element to the artwork.
https://www.team-lab.net/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYrKVUYNO9U
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
Don't flatter yourself. You're not mythological. You're a mundane little rodent. :trollskull:
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
Don't flatter yourself. You're not mythological. You're a mundane little rodent. :trollskull:
Hey, I could be a mythological celtic if I wanted to. >:(
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
Don't flatter yourself. You're not mythological. You're a mundane little rodent. :trollskull:
:( Gophers have souls!
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
Don't flatter yourself. You're not mythological. You're a mundane little rodent. :trollskull:
:( Gophers have soles!
fixed
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
Don't flatter yourself. You're not mythological. You're a mundane little rodent. :trollskull:
Hey, I could be a mythological celtic if I wanted to. >:(
This mythological Celt :lep: would kick your fuzzy keister!
-
a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts
Pookas sound a lot like gophers. :lol1:
Don't flatter yourself. You're not mythological. You're a mundane little rodent. :trollskull:
Hey, I could be a mythological celtic if I wanted to. >:(
This mythological Celt :lep: would kick your fuzzy keister!
He just doesn't like me because I wont touch his blarney stone. :zoinks:
-
seven times 7
-
-
Shouldn't it be 42?
-
That's six times seven. :M
-
That's six times seven. :M
:green:
Shouldn't it be 42?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVgXGw_XhRQ&