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Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Jesse on May 15, 2013, 05:13:59 PM

Title: Advice pls
Post by: Jesse on May 15, 2013, 05:13:59 PM
Ok, so. I talked to my mentally Ill father today on the phone. (He called me) and I need to know how to proceed.
Basically my grandmother had trust fund in it with around $370,000 in it. Its going to be split 4 ways between her children, (my father being one of them) And he is threatening to come out here to visit me and my sister. He wasn't involved in our lives as children, teenagers, or adults. And it was weird because on the phone he acted normal? is this normal? I was trying to be polite like yeah, ok sure, Etc. but I just wanted to scream at his bitch ass, Lol. Once he recives his inheritance He will be kicked off of his Vets disability that he getting. he figures he can live off of whatever his cut is from my grandmothers trust, and then work under the table? somewhere. Alls I told him was watch out, because money goes quickly. I'm sure this asshole is gonna want me to take care of him when he is elderly too. Which wouldn't be a problem if he would have did right by his family

So my question is, do you think I should entertain this mother fucker? Or should I tell him to get lost?
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: TheoK on May 15, 2013, 05:22:30 PM
Tell him to get lost. I have a feeling that he wants some money from the rest of you as well. He can't live on $92500 for the rest of his life.

But try to do it in a diplomatic way.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Jesse on May 15, 2013, 05:25:51 PM
You bring up a good point. He wants, reguardless of the situation he wants something from us.
Being diplomatic was never an easy thing for me If I turn you down it always looks like I'm being mean to you,  :laugh:

Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Al Swearegen on May 15, 2013, 05:47:28 PM
I think you want us to confirm what you know is true. You do not need that confirmation
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Jack on May 15, 2013, 05:47:53 PM
My sympathy to your situation. Do what's best for Richard. Good luck.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Jesse on May 15, 2013, 05:56:40 PM
your right al swearington.  :plus:

Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Gopher Gary on May 15, 2013, 06:35:55 PM
Or should I tell him to get lost?

Do you want me to tell him?
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: P7PSP on May 15, 2013, 08:26:29 PM
Tell him to get lost. I have a feeling that he wants some money from the rest of you as well. He can't live on $92500 for the rest of his life.

But try to do it in a diplomatic way.
I think you want us to confirm what you know is true. You do not need that confirmation
:agreed: with both. I have not bothered even speaking to my biological father for about 25 years. My dad is a different matter. I like seeing him and try to make sure that he and my mother have what they need if their computer goes tits up or what ever else might vex them.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: TA on May 15, 2013, 08:35:57 PM
$92,500 is not a substantial sum of money, make sure he keeps as much of it as possible. Tell him to put in an interest bearing savings account, and maybe you will be in for a nice inheritance.


If it is too much for you, tell him to piss off.

If you want him around, let him come.

It is all up to you.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: McGiver on May 15, 2013, 09:38:32 PM
Why don't you tell him that you'll hold onto it (wink wink) so that he can remain o disability.  Then split it with your sister.
Fuck that dead beat.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Bastet on May 15, 2013, 10:20:24 PM
Why don't you tell him that you'll hold onto it (wink wink) so that he can remain o disability.  Then split it with your sister.
Fuck that dead beat.

Ohoo! Seconded.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: odeon on May 15, 2013, 11:03:17 PM
Don't. Just don't, Richard. He wants things from you, he wants to use you, and if he wasn't there for you when you were a child, he sure as hell won't be there for you now.

I'm sorry. :(

But if you want to see him - which is understandable, considering that we don't get to pick our kin - make sure you have a way out. Don't have him stay at your place, find neutral ground.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: 'andersom' on May 16, 2013, 05:24:41 AM
Your father tried to use you before, for some financial tricks, IIRC.
Stay clear from him. And, if your sister does that too, make a front together. Don't let that man destroy your lives, nor let him get between you and your sister.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: El on May 16, 2013, 05:53:59 AM
Don't let him stay at your place.

Don't let him VISIT at your place.

If you are curious enough that you want to meet with him, meet him for lunch or something in a public place.  Make it a brief visit.  Have someone plan a "rescue" call so you have an easy out after the first hour or whatever.  And, expect nothing good from him.

You can also just outright tell him to fuck off.

Why don't you tell him that you'll hold onto it (wink wink) so that he can remain o disability.  Then split it with your sister.
Fuck that dead beat.

That may actually be what he wants to meet to propose.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: "couldbecousin" on May 16, 2013, 06:09:09 AM
Don't. Just don't, Richard. He wants things from you, he wants to use you, and if he wasn't there for you when you were a child, he sure as hell won't be there for you now.

I'm sorry. :(

But if you want to see him - which is understandable, considering that we don't get to pick our kin - make sure you have a way out. Don't have him stay at your place, find neutral ground.

  ^ This.  Tell him you don't have room for guests at your place and he will have to stay elsewhere.
  Meet him for coffee somewhere if you want but don't feel obligated to spend more time with him than you want to.  :thumbup:
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Icequeen on May 16, 2013, 08:11:08 AM
What Elle said.

One thing...it gets easier to tell people to bug off with age.

Until then caller id or a cheap answering machine can be priceless.

Only you can decide how much your sanity is worth to you though. Good luck.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Jesse on May 16, 2013, 10:43:38 AM
Thanks everyone.  :plus:

And me and my sister have decided that we are not going to have a relationship with him at all.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: odeon on May 16, 2013, 03:14:43 PM
Good for you both, I think. He made his choices long ago.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: El on May 16, 2013, 04:46:17 PM
What Elle said.

One thing...it gets easier to tell people to bug off with age.

Until then caller id or a cheap answering machine can be priceless.

Only you can decide how much your sanity is worth to you though. Good luck.
OMG, WE HAVE TIME TRAVELLED!!!  WHAT CENTURY IS IT????    :zombiefuck:

:P
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: "couldbecousin" on May 16, 2013, 10:49:08 PM
What Elle said.

One thing...it gets easier to tell people to bug off with age.

Until then caller id or a cheap answering machine can be priceless.

Only you can decide how much your sanity is worth to you though. Good luck.
OMG, WE HAVE TIME TRAVELLED!!!  WHAT CENTURY IS IT????    :zombiefuck:

:P

  I'm proud to say that I have finally learned to access the voicemail on my android phone.  :autism:



     "Only"  6 months after buying it.  :autism:
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: odeon on May 16, 2013, 11:02:32 PM
Can you show me? :P
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: "couldbecousin" on May 16, 2013, 11:08:32 PM
Can you show me? :P

  I think I used an app, I can't remember which one.  :tard:
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: McGiver on May 17, 2013, 08:12:46 AM
 :laugh:
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: El on May 17, 2013, 09:52:13 AM
I win at fail-tech over ALL of y'all- I don't even HAVE a smartphone.

(yet.  It's bloody well happening this year.)
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: McGiver on May 17, 2013, 09:56:57 AM
I win at fail-tech over ALL of y'all- I don't even HAVE a smartphone.

(yet.  It's bloody well happening this year.)
are you 70 years old?
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: TheoK on May 17, 2013, 09:59:05 AM
I don't have a smartphone either (I think). I'm not really sure what it is.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: McGiver on May 17, 2013, 10:05:20 AM
I don't have a smartphone either (I think). I'm not really sure what it is.
are you 70?
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: TheoK on May 17, 2013, 10:07:58 AM
 :agreed: :indeed: :nerdy:
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: McGiver on May 17, 2013, 10:10:49 AM
A word if warning: once you get a smartphone you will be on it constantly.
Elle, for learning.
Lit for porn
And/or vice versa.

It's like have in the world with you at all times.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Queen Victoria on May 17, 2013, 12:06:36 PM
I have a fairly simple pre-paid Tracphone that does have a camera.  I've tried sending a message, but evidently I needed to put in an area code because it didn't go through without one.  I simply use it for when I'm away from the house and the PR or PA needs something or I need to see if they want something.

No, I'm not 70 yet (looking forward to it though).  PA is 71 and he doesn't have a cellphone.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: Queen Victoria on May 17, 2013, 12:08:52 PM
richard, is it possible that the inheritance will be/was placed in a similar trust fund for your father?  Not sure if your grandparent was savvy enough to do this or acknowledged your father's disabilities.
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: McGiver on May 17, 2013, 08:40:43 PM
Richard, weren't you and Grammy tight?
Title: Re: Advice pls
Post by: "couldbecousin" on May 17, 2013, 11:47:13 PM
A word if warning: once you get a smartphone you will be on it constantly.
Elle, for learning.
Lit for porn
And/or vice versa.

It's like have in the world with you at all times.

  I love using it to check for new text messages that I didn't get!  :autism: