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Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: bodie on September 18, 2011, 06:38:25 PM

Title: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: bodie on September 18, 2011, 06:38:25 PM
It is half one in the morning.  My dogs are barking their
fucking tit's off.  Probably just a hedgehog?  It has been known
in the past.

What if it is 'something'?   The most lethal weapon i can find
is a can opener?  Truth is i am scared. :-\   It is dark up
there,  the light isn't working, and i can't find my torch!

I am typing this as they have stopped for a min.  Hoping
they will be quiet now.

If i don't go up there and sort it out the neighbours will
be on my case  -  if i do, then i will have to leave my
son asleep and alone in the house.

Fuck!
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: Queen Victoria on September 18, 2011, 06:40:44 PM
It is half one in the morning.  My dogs are barking their
fucking tit's off.  Probably just a hedgehog?  It has been known
in the past.

What if it is 'something'?   The most lethal weapon i can find
is a can opener?  Truth is i am scared. :-\   It is dark up
there,  the light isn't working, and i can't find my torch!

I am typing this as they have stopped for a min.  Hoping
they will be quiet now.

If i don't go up there and sort it out the neighbours will
be on my case  -  if i do, then i will have to leave my
son asleep and alone in the house.

Fuck!

Turn on your lights, and radio, open a window slightly to let the sound out.  That might frighten them/it away. 

P.S.  If anyone asks what you want for Christmas, say a torch. 
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: The_Chosen_One on September 18, 2011, 06:41:22 PM
Turn on the verandah light.
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: Queen Victoria on September 18, 2011, 06:43:07 PM
Or you could stand by the door, with it slightly open and say, "Frank, Frank, don't go out there! Frank!!!"
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: bodie on September 18, 2011, 06:47:44 PM
Oh i would love a verandah light.  I would love a verandah!  but
this is scumsville :zoinks:

I have just opened the door and shouted 'quiet'.  It's no good.
My problem is that my garden is long and narrow,  so the kennels are nearly 200ft away - whatever lights i put on in the house
it is still dark up there.

Funny thing is i got several torches -  they are hiding :thumbdn:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: bodie on September 18, 2011, 06:51:03 PM
One dog is quiet now.  The other is making a seal noise - like
a stupid cry when excited.  My guess is it is a hedgehog then.

The other dog has got bored of watching her mate play with it.

I hope i am correct
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: midlifeaspie on September 18, 2011, 06:52:22 PM
Tell your dog to STFU
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: bodie on September 18, 2011, 06:55:50 PM
Was it elton john that had voice boxes removed
from his dogs?  Just wondering how much the vet
fee's would be?
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: The_Chosen_One on September 18, 2011, 07:03:29 PM
Was it elton john that had voice boxes removed
from his dogs?  Just wondering how much the vet
fee's would be?

It's illegal to do that, BTW. Your animal welfare agency could prosecute.

The RSPCA here have done so several times.
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: midlifeaspie on September 18, 2011, 07:05:03 PM
Was it elton john that had voice boxes removed
from his dogs?  Just wondering how much the vet
fee's would be?

It's illegal to do that, BTW. Your animal welfare agency could prosecute.

The RSPCA here have done so several times.

Those pesky global laws  :thumbdn:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: P7PSP on September 18, 2011, 07:06:46 PM
That sucks bodie. Get a baseball bat, they have better heft than cricket bats.
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: midlifeaspie on September 18, 2011, 07:07:33 PM
Was it elton john that had voice boxes removed
from his dogs?  Just wondering how much the vet
fee's would be?

I've done it, but with a blowtorch so the cost is minimal.
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: bodie on September 18, 2011, 07:20:03 PM
I wasn't serious about it.   :zoinks:

well, maybe i would be if i had a yappy
little fucker like the one next door :2thumbsup:

i just recall some pop star having it done - or alledgedly!

They are good as gold 99% of the time.

@PPK - I have no bat,  but i got a fly zapper like
lutra :thumbup:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: P7PSP on September 18, 2011, 07:21:16 PM
I wasn't serious about it.   :zoinks:

well, maybe i would be if i had a yappy
little fucker like the one next door :2thumbsup:

i just recall some pop star having it done - or alledgedly!

They are good as gold 99% of the time.

@PPK - I have no bat,  but i got a fly zapper like
lutra :thumbup:
In that case I'll keep my fly zipped if I ever meet you.  :zoinks:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: "couldbecousin" on September 18, 2011, 09:53:58 PM
Tell your dog to STFU

 This post made me   :rofl:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: midlifeaspie on September 18, 2011, 11:08:37 PM
Tell your dog to STFU

 This post made me   :rofl:

I aim to please  :zoinks:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: ZEGH8578 on September 19, 2011, 12:51:29 AM
buy a gun!
if you dont have a license, do not worry, unregistered guns are sold freely on the "black market" :]
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: Osensitive1 on September 19, 2011, 02:16:26 AM
buy a gun!
if you dont have a license, do not worry, unregistered guns are sold freely on the "black market" :]
Lol. Was thinking flood lights.
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: eris on September 19, 2011, 02:59:24 AM
baseball bat
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: Calavera on September 19, 2011, 07:39:28 AM
It's just a ghost. Don't worry too much about it.
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: 'andersom' on September 19, 2011, 08:57:27 AM
Rolling pin, or, heavier stuff, butcher's knife.

And, getting some lights that have movement sensors may be a good thing.

Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: Queen Victoria on September 19, 2011, 09:23:21 AM
Re: not finding a torch.

Put one on the window sill in your bedroom and another on the window sill in the kitchen.  One can be kept in the closet closest to the front door (hung in a bag from the rod or a nail).  Buy urchin his own torch for Christmas.
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: bodie on September 19, 2011, 09:40:56 AM
 :o  a g g g ghost

 :hide:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: Parts on September 19, 2011, 09:45:54 AM
Buy a six D cell Maglite and keep it next to your bed they are blindlying bright and better than a billy club.
(http://img.shinyshack.com/l_maglite_6d_cell2.jpg) 
link (http://www.shinyshack.com/product.php?prid=213781&pn=MagLite-6-CELL-D)

I keep a 4 cell one next to my seat in my van and the next one I get will be a six
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: odeon on September 19, 2011, 12:03:25 PM
They do the job. Even without batteries.  :zoinks:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: bodie on September 19, 2011, 01:47:22 PM
I had one of those magilite torches.  A big silver one.  It was
very heavy with batteries in it -  would make a decent weapon.

It was in the boot of my car and i sold it,  without realising :tard:

I just haven't got around to replacing it,  and they aren't cheap
either!

Have read of a council somewhere that has a scheme
of painting all dimly lit areas 'white' -  and they reckon
it makes it harder for someone to sneak up on you.  So
i am going to try and whitewash all my gates and fences :zoinks:
Visibility is quite good up there as the runs have a concrete
base (whitish) with galvanised steel mesh all around and a white
corrugated roof.  The kennels inside the runs are made of
white stuff (don't remember what it's called but it is meant
to be cool in the summer and hold in warmth in the winter)
Even the dogs are white too!   My problem is the pathway
from my house to the runs.  Its dark.  Lot's of bushes.  I really
hate it.  Have had lights up there but need an electrician
really as always used lots of extensions and kept tripping
out the electric.  Also forgot to get in again in the rain.
 :asthing:
Title: Re: Shit! what do i do?
Post by: Queen Victoria on September 19, 2011, 01:50:20 PM
What about some cheap solar lights along the path?  Christmas is coming up and you might be able to find some cheap lights in the plastic tube which would help some and could be left outside year round.