INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Adam on September 14, 2009, 06:14:11 PM
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this is one of the things which really annoys me about people, and has made me more cynical about people
why does practically everyone seem to interested in what their neighbours are up to?
i find it very hard to trust people who are being nice to my face, because you know they are probably judging you badly for being a bit of a spazz, or dressing weirdly or whatever
obviously this is nothing to, and you get it in various ways (ie the kind you get in high schools), but i find it really annoying
maybe because i'm just not interested at all, and can't see why people would enjoy discussing boring things about the bloke down the road
the parents of other kids at my brothers' school are often nice to me, but i just know that the majority of them are thinking "wow, i wonder what's wrong with that idiot?"
i don't get why people care about other people so much
and about such trivial fucking things like what they're wearing or something
jeeeeeeeeeeez
(i've finished now :wanker: )
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this is one of the things which really annoys me about people, and has made me more cynical about people
why does practically everyone seem to interested in what their neighbours are up to?
i find it very hard to trust people who are being nice to my face, because you know they are probably judging you badly for being a bit of a spazz, or dressing weirdly or whatever
obviously this is nothing to, and you get it in various ways (ie the kind you get in high schools), but i find it really annoying
maybe because i'm just not interested at all, and can't see why people would enjoy discussing boring things about the bloke down the road
the parents of other kids at my brothers' school are often nice to me, but i just know that the majority of them are thinking "wow, i wonder what's wrong with that idiot?"
i don't get why people care about other people so much
and about such trivial fucking things like what they're wearing or something
jeeeeeeeeeeez
(i've finished now :wanker: )
This is easy.
Because looking at other people's flaws is a diversion from their own. It's human nature to look at other people's problem so you can feel better about your own.
Another reason is Jealousy. Why do you think tabloids exist? People are jealous of celebrities and their success and it makes them feel better to look their (the celebrities) dirty laundry so they won;t feel as bad about being an average loser.
Now with all that said someone who is mentally healthy, has high self esteem, is mature, etc will not have the need to bring others down to feel better about themselves.
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this is one of the things which really annoys me about people, and has made me more cynical about people
why does practically everyone seem to interested in what their neighbours are up to?
If you know what types of people you're living near, you know what types of problems, if any, you may encounter with them.
If you're friendly with your neighbors, you might become friends with them, or at the very least, build up enough of a positive association with them that they'd help you in a pinch (for example, letting you use their phone if you got locked out of your house).
Fellow neighbors and their eccentricities seem likely fodder for "small talk" 1. because it's something you have in common with your other neighbors and 2. because it's a way to validate (or disconfirm) opinions, intruitions or concerns about the people you live close to. Like office gossip. It may suck that it happens, but it makes perfect sense that it does, too.
i find it very hard to trust people who are being nice to my face, because you know they are probably judging you badly for being a bit of a spazz, or dressing weirdly or whatever
the parents of other kids at my brothers' school are often nice to me, but i just know that the majority of them are thinking "wow, i wonder what's wrong with that idiot?"
That kind of paranoia's self-fulfilling. If you expect to not be liked by others, you'll act unfriendly, which turns people off to you.
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I think I'm very friendly to people actually. I don't talk much, but that's because I'm not good at conversations and so I don't think of a response fast enough sometimes. I try though, and I smile/laugh at their jokes. I also help them if I can, like when a dog escapes or if they don't have enough money at the shop. I think I probably put more effort into being nice to neighbours than most people do tbh
I just don't get why anyone cares if I dress weird or they don't know what sex I am
I can understand them gossipping about me having AS though, or not having a job
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I think I'm very friendly to people actually. I don't talk much, but that's because I'm not good at conversations and so I don't think of a response fast enough sometimes. I try though, and I smile/laugh at their jokes. I also help them if I can, like when a dog escapes or if they don't have enough money at the shop. I think I probably put more effort into being nice to neighbours than most people do tbh
I just don't get why anyone cares if I dress weird or they don't know what sex I am
I can understand them gossipping about me having AS though, or not having a job
are you sure people are talking about you or are you just paranoid/insecure?
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I only want to know what the neighbors are up to in case it affects me. I don't gossip though and don't care what people do as long as they leave me alone
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I only want to know what the neighbors are up to in case it affects me. I don't gossip though and don't care what people do as long as they leave me alone
Same here.
I basically just like to have a "heads up" in case shit hits the fan. I hate surprises, and waking up to 6 police cars lined up next to my house at 7:00 am would really screw up my morning coffee.
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I only want to know what the neighbors are up to in case it affects me. I don't gossip though and don't care what people do as long as they leave me alone
Same here.
I basically just like to have a "heads up" in case shit hits the fan. I hate surprises, and waking up to 6 police cars lined up next to my house at 7:00 am would really screw up my morning coffee.
Same here also. Although funnily enough, that's actually happened, but with a few undercover cars and they raided a house a few house spaces from ours. Turns out the neighbours there had stolen a lot of electrical goods from all over town. There has been an attempted murder too at the same house (different owner back then though).
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It's better to try to get on with your neighbours if something happens, but it's also wise to keep to yourself as well so as to not cause trouble. Ay for example you decide to take up drumming or want to have a party, a 'heads up' to them isn't a bad idea. Generally they won't give a shit. Same as if they came to you and did the same thing - you'd probably say 'meh, go ahead' if it wasn't a problem.
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You have to know what's going on around you where you live. I think it's a safety issue.
Plus being too friendly with neighbours can be a curse. Sometimes they think they can impose on you more than you are willing to give, and when you say no, they make it their lifes work to get revenge.
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Denial and projection. Simplest psychology.
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You have to know what's going on around you where you live. I think it's a safety issue.
Plus being too friendly with neighbours can be a curse. Sometimes they think they can impose on you more than you are willing to give, and when you say no, they make it their lifes work to get revenge.
Yeah, and that's why I prefer the 'keeps to themselves but somewhat friendly' type neighbours. But on an unrelated note: I find it awkward when someone's too friendly with me, because I'm extremely shy or disinterested in small talk in public. It's especially uncomfortable when I'm in a hotel room and people are gathered outside at the tables (this one place I go to has a outdoor dining area), I wonder if "should I say G'day or not? as I walk by, or leave them alone?"
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You have to know what's going on around you where you live. I think it's a safety issue.
Plus being too friendly with neighbours can be a curse. Sometimes they think they can impose on you more than you are willing to give, and when you say no, they make it their lifes work to get revenge.
Yeah, and that's why I prefer the 'keeps to themselves but somewhat friendly' type neighbours. But on an unrelated note: I find it awkward when someone's too friendly with me, because I'm extremely shy or disinterested in small talk in public. It's especially uncomfortable when I'm in a hotel room and people are gathered outside at the tables (this one place I go to has a outdoor dining area), I wonder if "should I say G'day or not? as I walk by, or leave them alone?"
I feel the same way. I never know when I should say hi so mostly I avoid people at all costs
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You have to know what's going on around you where you live. I think it's a safety issue.
Plus being too friendly with neighbours can be a curse. Sometimes they think they can impose on you more than you are willing to give, and when you say no, they make it their lifes work to get revenge.
Yeah, and that's why I prefer the 'keeps to themselves but somewhat friendly' type neighbours. But on an unrelated note: I find it awkward when someone's too friendly with me, because I'm extremely shy or disinterested in small talk in public. It's especially uncomfortable when I'm in a hotel room and people are gathered outside at the tables (this one place I go to has a outdoor dining area), I wonder if "should I say G'day or not? as I walk by, or leave them alone?"
I'm the same, I like neighbours that I know nothing about and don't even know what they look like because they keep to themselves that much.
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I think I'm very friendly to people actually. I don't talk much, but that's because I'm not good at conversations and so I don't think of a response fast enough sometimes. I try though, and I smile/laugh at their jokes. I also help them if I can, like when a dog escapes or if they don't have enough money at the shop. I think I probably put more effort into being nice to neighbours than most people do tbh
I just don't get why anyone cares if I dress weird or they don't know what sex I am
I can understand them gossipping about me having AS though, or not having a job
People talk about me that way too. About the job etc, I stopped caring. But it annoys me that I can't go out in riding boots and cape without people thinking I'm crazy.
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You have to know what's going on around you where you live. I think it's a safety issue.
Plus being too friendly with neighbours can be a curse. Sometimes they think they can impose on you more than you are willing to give, and when you say no, they make it their lifes work to get revenge.
Yeah, and that's why I prefer the 'keeps to themselves but somewhat friendly' type neighbours. But on an unrelated note: I find it awkward when someone's too friendly with me, because I'm extremely shy or disinterested in small talk in public. It's especially uncomfortable when I'm in a hotel room and people are gathered outside at the tables (this one place I go to has a outdoor dining area), I wonder if "should I say G'day or not? as I walk by, or leave them alone?"
I feel the same way. I never know when I should say hi so mostly I avoid people at all costs
I've learned to vaguely smile and hold up a hand as I walk by and say "Morning/afternoon/evining/night" or "hihowyadoin'." Seems to be the standard.
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I think I'm very friendly to people actually. I don't talk much, but that's because I'm not good at conversations and so I don't think of a response fast enough sometimes. I try though, and I smile/laugh at their jokes. I also help them if I can, like when a dog escapes or if they don't have enough money at the shop. I think I probably put more effort into being nice to neighbours than most people do tbh
I just don't get why anyone cares if I dress weird or they don't know what sex I am
I can understand them gossipping about me having AS though, or not having a job
People talk about me that way too. About the job etc, I stopped caring. But it annoys me that I can't go out in riding boots and cape without people thinking I'm crazy.
Meh, fuck em. I'll wear my black jedi cloak in public sometimes and people look and stuff. I think it's amusing.
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i do try to get on with people if i meet them. IMO i put more effort into being nice to people than most do
i don't know if people do talk behind my back or not, but i've heard people say things about other people behind their back (which could easily be applied to me), when they'd be nice to them to their face obviously
i don't expect people to treat each other like shit or anything, but sitting slagging them off and going on about how that weirdo over the street has a penis (omg) or that guy down the road is a bit weird and never goes out. that kinda thing annoys me. if you actually think there's something you need to be concerned about, then fine. but people usually just do it coz they like moaning about people and sticking their nose into things that are none of their business
anyway i smile at people i walk past (except teenagers and young people, as i could get a punch in the face from some of them), and i respond if people talk to me.
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i do try to get on with people if i meet them. IMO i put more effort into being nice to people than most do
i don't know if people do talk behind my back or not, but i've heard people say things about other people behind their back (which could easily be applied to me), when they'd be nice to them to their face obviously
i don't expect people to treat each other like shit or anything, but sitting slagging them off and going on about how that weirdo over the street has a penis (omg) or that guy down the road is a bit weird and never goes out. that kinda thing annoys me. if you actually think there's something you need to be concerned about, then fine. but people usually just do it coz they like moaning about people and sticking their nose into things that are none of their business
anyway i smile at people i walk past (except teenagers and young people, as i could get a punch in the face from some of them), and i respond if people talk to me.
If people you know talk about other behind their back in front of you, then you can be sure they do the same to you. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless they are out to get you or frame you for shit they are doing.
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yeah I try not to think about it too much really. I wouldn't say it;s something I worry about as such, just something i find really annoying, like women who talk too much in general. it just irritates me. people can think what they like though, and will.
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Me, I just dress how I feel and do what I want. I don't let anyone get to me when I'm walking around. If some dickwad says something, I'll just keep walking as if I didn't hear them. As far as clothes are concerned, I mostly wear football jerseys and sports stuff, with my bandannas, so as far as trying to tart myself up, fuck it.
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it's the extremes I don't like - people either just give you a dirty look but don't actually say anything (can't blame them for that though... and my mum reckons I imagine this :P ), or you risk getting beaten up
if I'm in a bad mood though, I do it too. usually when I see an ugly and/or fat slut dressed like a prostitute
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it's the extremes I don't like - people either just give you a dirty look but don't actually say anything (can't blame them for that though... and my mum reckons I imagine this :P ), or you risk getting beaten up
if I'm in a bad mood though, I do it too. usually when I see an ugly and/or fat slut dressed like a prostitute
My mom made an entire society alienate and patronize me when she went public with the diagnosis, people started avoiding me etc, and yet she claims I must have been imagining.
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A lot of us do tend to think it's worse than it actually is, I think (probably because of bad experiences in school and other social situations, so we assume everyone's thinking this and that), but we don't imagine ALL of it
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As I said to my supervisor today, "See? People ARE saying and thinking bad things about me!!!" :green:
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Not all gossip is malicious, as others have pointed out. At its most harmless, it keeps everyone in the neighbourhood well-enough informed about each other's doings that basic civility is maintained and anomalies are noticed. For example, Mr and Mrs X are away for the week, and therefore no-one should be prowling around their house and yard. The Y family has just bought one of those massive 4WDs in some hideous colour, and since we know it's theirs, we just do a quiet eyeroll when it passes in the street instead of going, "Who in flamin' hell is that?!" The Z house is up for sale because a) Mr and Mrs Z have both found more congenial partners in other parts of town, or b) sadly, the lady they were renting it from has passed away, or c) they've just won Lotto and have moved to Queensland.
Then there are the people who have a sense of community-mindedness and a genuine desire to help others. Usually they are active in the local church etc., and can be tolerated as long as they are not overzealous in sticking their snouts into your affairs.
And then there are all the ones who are malicious or judgmental. I used to worry quite a lot about what such people might be saying about me & mine. But I'm finding as I grow older that I don't give a rat's arse about what they say. So long as they don't do anything actively harmful, they can think whatever they damned-well want.
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And then there are the neighbours who will help you fix up things if you are having trouble doing it yourself, like fixing the fence or mowing the lawn, or cleaning the gutters.
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And then there are neighbours who know where to buy weed for you :evillaugh:
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And then there are neighbours who know where to buy weed for you :evillaugh:
I actually had a next door neighbour who was a drug dealer. However I did not know this fact for five years, until she was arrested and the story made the local newspaper. :facepalm:
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I actually had a next door neighbour who was a drug dealer. However I did not know this fact for five years, until she was arrested and the story made the local newspaper. :facepalm:
Oooh, scaaaarrrrry. :laugh:
I'm finding as I grow older that I don't give a rat's arse about what they say. So long as they don't do anything actively harmful, they can think whatever they damned-well want.
I've noticed that this is one of the major upsides of getting older- stupid shit bothers you less.
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And then there are neighbours who know where to buy weed for you :evillaugh:
I actually had a next door neighbour who was a drug dealer. However I did not know this fact for five years, until she was arrested and the story made the local newspaper. :facepalm:
Didn't you notice all those visitors they had that stayed for 5-10mins at a time?
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I've noticed that this is one of the major upsides of getting older- stupid shit bothers you less.
As long as it doesn't have any actual influence upon you, yes.
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And then there are neighbours who know where to buy weed for you :evillaugh:
I actually had a next door neighbour who was a drug dealer. However I did not know this fact for five years, until she was arrested and the story made the local newspaper. :facepalm:
Didn't you notice all those visitors they had that stayed for 5-10mins at a time?
One of our neighbors sons sells drugs on and off. I figure they will never bother me about anything I do in the yard or noise as I don't complain about them
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Didn't you notice all those visitors they had that stayed for 5-10mins at a time?
I dont think I paid much attention what was happening next door to be honest. Neither did my dad and stepmother who I was living with.
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Oooh, scaaaarrrrry. :laugh:
Hell no, I thought when I hear the arrest. All that time and I did not realize I could just go next door and buy drugs (assuming she had more than just Meth, which I will not touch with a 100 foot pole).
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Oooh, scaaaarrrrry. :laugh:
Hell no, I thought when I hear the arrest. All that time and I did not realize I could just go next door and buy drugs (assuming she had more than just Meth, which I will not touch with a 100 foot pole).
lol
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Gossiping is something I have learned to do, in a limited way. Although I dislike myself being the subject of people's gossip, because when I am being talked about, it is almost always bad stuff. Lately I have discovered people are gossiping about me in positive ways, especially at my volunteer job at a local neighborhood house. When for example; I had to take days off because I am busy with uni studies, they asked my friend who teaches guitar classes there about what I was doing and he replied I was extremely busy.
That revelation has slowly started to changed my opinion of gossiping, especially about people gossiping about me.
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age/ imaturity/past abuse issues
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and on further thoughts i would like to think that most people who go through this, eventually grow up unless there mentally ILL. :laugh:
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And then there are neighbours who know where to buy weed for you :evillaugh:
I actually had a next door neighbour who was a drug dealer. However I did not know this fact for five years, until she was arrested and the story made the local newspaper. :facepalm:
Didn't you notice all those visitors they had that stayed for 5-10mins at a time?
True story, told in a local newspaper article about the difficulties of being a landlord:
A naive, kind-hearted landlord, a recent transplant from a small Midwestern town, was telling his friends
about his new tenant, such a nice guy with so many friends coming to visit him at all hours! The landlord's
friends had to break the sad news that this tenant was almost certainly a dealer. :laugh: My sister had a
similar realization in one of her places of residence. She noticed that her landlady's son kept a dog tied up
outside the house and had cars coming and going at all hours, and got out of that apartment ASAP. :GA:
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As I get older I think this is all some people have to do...talk about other people.
I tend to avoid everyone and I get so pissed at the SO for telling people what's going on in our lives all the time...especially if it's bad...they seem to love to share the bad stuff. But my MIL is attending church now and on Facebook...so even stuffing a sock in SO mouth before we go out in public isn't going to do much good.
I like my private life private, and I don't want to hear about anyone elses either. If I ever get that damn bored I'll take up lint collecting first.
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Gossip is one of my weaknesses. I love to hear it and I love to share it. But then I did some thinking on it.
Why am I reading/sharing this? Is it to feel important? That I know something you don't know? To hurt the person I'm talking about? I notice that I censor myself more lately since these questions are in my mind.
What if it's something that the listener needs to know? I try to say that XX had some experience with the situation (investments, purchases, etc.) and maybe you should talk to them about advice. (We had a horrible experience with an electrician and while I won't speak freely about him, if asked for a good electrician I will share my experience.)
I've learned to skip most of the snarky/ tittilating news articles. However my one big weakness is the Free Jinger Forum (snarks on fundamentalists). Lord, what a rabbit hole/howl.
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It got so overwhelming at work, completely disengaged over two years ago. Take breaks alone, decline lunch invites, decline celebrations or group activities; do my job and go home. Am more content for it; when rarely hearing them snipe about each other, also rarely wonder what's being sniped about me, and also rarely encouraged to participate. Had to make it clear to a few, especially own team members and boss, if it's not about the data then don't want to talk about it. It's been nice.
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I often wonder if strangers who see me frequently have a nickname for me that they use behind my back.
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I hate people
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I'm intrigued by gossip and such. At the school gate I liked observing. Some ways of gossip are like a social lubricant that comes with benefits. When something needs to be organised in a short time frame, it is people attending a certain type of gossip that get the job done within half a day or less. As if their type of gossip only is used to oil the channels of communication, to keep the whole machine nicely lubricated. Amazing stuff. Things talked about are kids, illnesses and soap series.
Then there are people using positive gossip. Telling nice things about others. Those groups were small, most one on one conversations. They are often willing to help someone out.
And there is the nasty group. Those groups are bigger. Nothing good seems to come out of them. Best to avoid people like that like the plague. The way they talk about an other is the way they will talk about each other when in a different group.
Gossip can be fun to observe.
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There was even gossip amongst my college class (I was with the same group in all my classes). And they were mostly male - there were 3 of us girls. Four of us were autistic. That's a bit of gossip right there, heh.
I am wondering what my next class will be like. I go back on the 18th of July.
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Men can be very good at gossip indeed. Gender does not have to be a limitation. :zoinks:
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Men can be very good at gossip indeed. Gender does not have to be a limitation. :zoinks:
You know one thing I love and I suppose I bond over is my daughter's gossip from school.
"How was your day...?"
"Well, I got to school right? Then so and so such such and such to thingamebob and they said blah and then I said...."
So it goes for 60-90 minutes. I love it. I listen intently. No judgement. I smile at all the appropriate bits and nod when required.
I know what is motivating and driving my little girl. I know her friends. I know her values. I appreciate her problems. I am better armed and better prepared.
This Dad is not stupid.