INTENSITY²
Start here => Free For ALL => Topic started by: Tom/Mutate on February 15, 2009, 10:39:44 AM
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for linking to the amazon page for a book the moderator wrote, and laughing at the price and the negative review on the page.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Asperger-Social-Guide-Situation-Aspergers/dp/1412920248 (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Asperger-Social-Guide-Situation-Aspergers/dp/1412920248)
They're upset because its only a year since of the suicide of the other writer, Genevieve. I should have thought of that, but I didn't think. I never said anything insulting about the book, just that the review made me laugh.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt66649.html (http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt66649.html)
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I'm sorry that it happened to you, Mutate.
I searched AV but I couldn't find what you said, so either it is where guests can't see it or it has been deleted.
My first instinct would be to suggest that you contact Dean and tell him that you meant no offense to him or Genevieve in laughing at the review, but I don't know Dean so I don't know how he would respond to that.
I know when someone was very angry with me I tried apologizing to him. However, I guess he twisted what I said in his mind and he said that I was trying to be patronizing when I wasn't, so what I said only made him angrier.
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::) You're still on about that?
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I have that book. It's not very good.
Amazon's ad engine offered this link (http://www.parentingaspergers.com/forparents.htm?gclid=CJ3Ek9mC35gCFYh_3godYTJFbQ), btw. It's fucking hilarious.
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::) You're still on about that?
I said that because apologizing might not be Mutate's best option, depending on Dean's personality.
Do you have any other suggestions?
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For Mutate? Not really. Wait a week or two and then kiss their asses until he's let back in, I guess.
I think you're either stubbornly oblivious to the effects of your words, to the point of stupidity, though, or else you're quite aware and just pretending you're not for some reason of your own.
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Tell me why this seems hypocritical. ::)
Moderator can ban himself to then :laugh:
Patients is something awarded to the healthy.
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Maybe they banned you because they are disgusted with their own symptomology.
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Well now you won't have to deal with any more of their PC candyass behavior.
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No big loss mutate aspie village is lame.
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No idea why anyone would want to post there in the first place tbh..
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well that's what i said... in the other thread. or am i imagining things? :P i thought i posted in a mutant got fired from aspie village thread. :P
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For Mutate? Not really. Wait a week or two and then kiss their asses until he's let back in, I guess.
I think you're either stubbornly oblivious to the effects of your words, to the point of stupidity, though, or else you're quite aware and just pretending you're not for some reason of your own.
I'm saying the latter; she's a devious bint.
At least you're upfront about it, Py. :P
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*shrug* Not that it will do much good. She already decided not to answer. And I'm unlikely to do Ozy-style passive aggressiveness for long enough for it to have any impact.
My real problem, though, is the way she once told me I could talk to her about anything, and then did her cold shutdown routine when I pursued it. That's the kind of offer that implies caring, trust and emotional openness, which unlike what some may think, I am occasionally receptive to. I do not think she is capable of carrying through on that promise. Therefore she should not have made it. My trust was betrayed, albeit in an indirect and probably unintentional way. But betrayed nonetheless.
If it weren't for that, I wouldn't give a shit that she was purer-than-thou except as a scientific curiosity.
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Amazon's ad engine offered this link (http://www.parentingaspergers.com/forparents.htm?gclid=CJ3Ek9mC35gCFYh_3godYTJFbQ), btw. It's fucking hilarious.
That's like an info-mmercial script, with wild, unsupported claims. They just need a battalion of smiling bobbleheads to spout the lines for them between squints, while they amateurishly handhold cameras in unmoddified daylight, using busy, noisy streets as backgrounds.
I'd buy it then for sure!
:evillaugh:
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*shrug* Not that it will do much good. She already decided not to answer. And I'm unlikely to do Ozy-style passive aggressiveness for long enough for it to have any impact.
My real problem, though, is the way she once told me I could talk to her about anything, and then did her cold shutdown routine when I pursued it. That's the kind of offer that implies caring, trust and emotional openness, which unlike what some may think, I am occasionally receptive to. I do not think she is capable of carrying through on that promise. Therefore she should not have made it. My trust was betrayed, albeit in an indirect and probably unintentional way. But betrayed nonetheless.
If it weren't for that, I wouldn't give a shit that she was purer-than-thou except as a scientific curiosity.
I meant I was willing to talk to you by PM and I thought you understood that since we were talking by PM when I said it, Pyraxis. However I did answer the question you asked me on the board when I realized it actually meant something to you. I am in general a private person, but I am a good listener and I'm willing to share my own life to help someone. I am less willing to share just to be a lab rat in someone's maze or to be the butt of someone's joke.
When you said that you think I am "stubbornly oblivious to the effects of your words, to the point of stupidity" I was not sure what words you meant. Did you mean when I said that I thought that Ozymandias was one of the charter members of the PPLWGIC, or did you mean when I apologized for hurting his feelings? Because, even if it means that I am stupid, you are right that I still can't see why what I said to him was any worse than what he said and I certainly can't see how it constitutes "stabbing him in the back" as he said it did. Maybe you could point it out to me. Here's the quote:
Modzilla is new to autie boards if I understand it correctly. Which should come as no surprise.
The thing is, how does anybody know and why is "P" so keen on her!? I mean, it's his board and his choice. IMHO, this is a real tempest in a pot of tea. I'm not attacking anybody, I'm just watching all this and shaking my head in bitter disappointment that another interforum war is yet again rearing it's ugly head.
**ozymandias will now shut his flapping pie hole, since he is totally clueless and bemused at all the drama.**
It's not a war between boards, Ozy. I doubt most people see it in that way, and I know I don't. I see it the current drama as a problem *in* P's board.
Then why the cross border forum battles?? If Gaara runs things a particular way and "P" lets them, let it go! Maybe some people don't see it as a war between boards, but, I DO, and I can't believe that I am the ONLY ONE who does so. I maybe many things, but, clueless I am not, you have a really strong compulsion to get the last word as does Callaway, Peaguy, Gaara, calandale, hadron, milla, etc, etc, etc, yadda yadda yadda and so on and so forth.
The only use I see for this back and forth, tit for tat, bantering is for the sheer love of verbal battle. Something, I have no use for and am quite happy to sit and watch you all "bloody" and batter yourselves senseless. If "P's forum fails, so be it, if I2 fails, so be it, I'm only here, there and everywhere, to socialize, read and be very glad that I am who I am, and to say this, "I am a very lucky bastard". If every forum fails, I will still be me, doing what I do and thinking what I think, and living life as I see fit. I was the person I am before forums and I will be the person I will be after forums.
Remember, you and me are ultimately, just scrambled electrons assembled on a computer screen............................. :indeed:
How is expressing an opinion about some modzilla attacking Dunc on another board that I looked at today for the first time in over a week "cross border forum battles" Ozymandias?
I think that you are one of the charter members of the The Pathologically Pathetic Last Word Getter Inner Club, because you seem to believe that nobody else except you should ever express their opinions.
If Peaguy wants modzilla for whatever reason, it is nothing to me because I'm not even a member there, but he might want to think twice about the way she is alienating his friends. It makes me sad that PI has apparently deleted her account because of her. I would have thought that it would make you sad as well.
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I meant I was willing to talk to you by PM and I thought you understood that since we were talking by PM when I said it, Pyraxis.
Okay. Yeah that was me pushing buttons (my own and possibly yours), to bring stuff up in public instead of sticking to PM. I tend to do that to myself because it helps me get over things quicker. And I was contemptuous that you wouldn't join me, but I'm aware that's biased and unfair.
However I did answer the question you asked me on the board when I realized it actually meant something to you.
Yeah I saw you were trying. That whole thread meant a lot to me. But I was unable to find the connection I was looking for in your answer, and so I felt betrayed.
I am in general a private person, but I am a good listener and I'm willing to share my own life to help someone. I am less willing to share just to be a lab rat in someone's maze or to be the butt of someone's joke.
Well, I don't think I've ever tried to make you the butt of a joke. As for lab rats, that's just part of how I think. It's a defense against caring too much. I wish people didn't find meaningfulness and manipulation to be so much at odds, because for me they are hand in hand. I can't escape it when I try, but I still know that the person on the other side is a human being and so am I.
I don't think you're a good listener, though, at least for me. It's hard to model the healthy resolution of emotion with somebody who is more reserved than oneself. I would have ended up doing all the scary legwork myself, which I'm capable of, but don't see much point - it's something I could do on my own eventually, so why go to the stress and effort of talking honestly to another person?
When you said that you think I am "stubbornly oblivious to the effects of your words, to the point of stupidity" I was not sure what words you meant.
I mean your overall pattern of denying the subtext behind words. Your comments to Ozy are one example, but by far not the only one.
I still can't see why what I said to him was any worse than what he said and I certainly can't see how it constitutes "stabbing him in the back" as he said it did. Maybe you could point it out to me.
I was not comparing your words to his. I hadn't made any judgments about his, or about whose were "worse" (as if there is any objective "worse"). That is an example of subtext you have read into my words.
Ozy read an attack into the subtext of your words. He liked and respected you, and now felt "stabbed in the back" - a common phrase to use when one feels betrayed by a friend.
Subtext is subjective of course. People read things that were not intended. But some people communicate deliberately through subtext, knowing that their words will be misconstrued in a particular way. Ozy admits to using passive-aggressiveness here (http://www.duncsdrivel.biz/index.php?topic=189.msg6045#msg6045) (I won't quote it because it's in a journal, but the bit I'm talking about is midway through the third paragraph).
It is possible to try to avoid subtext, but not to avoid it entirely. It is my belief that it is unethical to do so. Because so many people use it - especially traumatized people who are too afraid to be direct - repeatedly denying that it can have any impact is like denying their pain. Not supportive, not helpful, and not likely to lead to resolution. (Of course, if one doesn't care about resolution, that's another matter, but then it's closer to an eye for an eye, and not moral high ground.) But to be so caught up in defending oneself against accusations of wrongdoing that one cannot step outside it and acknowledge that one's words have hurt the other person, even before understanding why, is unethical.
That is why I said that you were either stubbornly oblivious to the effects of your own words to the point of stupidity, or else were quite aware and just pretending you weren't for some reason of your own.
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Ozy-Bozy is a crybaby.
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But to be so caught up in defending oneself against accusations of wrongdoing that one cannot step outside it and acknowledge that one's words have hurt the other person, even before understanding why, is unethical.
That is why I said that you were either stubbornly oblivious to the effects of your own words to the point of stupidity, or else were quite aware and just pretending you weren't for some reason of your own.
I did acknowlege that my words hurt him. That's why I apologized for hurting his feelings when I saw that he was upset by what I had said.
That's also part of the reason I let him rant about me for over two months while I said very little to defend myself.
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Ozy-Bozy is a crybaby.
I like Ozy because he doesn't bullshit you whereas Callaway fucking does because her interpretations are always gospel.
She thinks she's superior to Ozy, the patroniser.
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This seems like a pointless thread. But, I wanted to share the humor of a site where you can be banned for linking to a bad review of the mod's published book.
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Do things ever go where you plan here? Like we can stay on topic :laugh:
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Ahh shit man. More emotional chickenshit bullshit. I don't know why everyone is so guarded like that all the time. Fuck aspie village anyway. Its almost as gay as ALEX.
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Do things ever go where you plan here? Like we can stay on topic :laugh:
I'm sorry, what was the topic now again? :P
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What the... all of the sudden I forgot what the fuck I was doing. Whats happening?!
:GA:
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Who should I know? Who are you, anyway?
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What the hell? I don't... Know? FUCK :o
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Why?
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No thanks :laugh:
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I did acknowlege that my words hurt him. That's why I apologized for hurting his feelings when I saw that he was upset by what I had said.
That's also part of the reason I let him rant about me for over two months while I said very little to defend myself.
I think you missed most of my points. Your main concern is still justifying yourself.