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Author Topic: Your perfect mate  (Read 2533 times)

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Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #75 on: October 30, 2011, 05:53:49 PM »
Quote from: ZEGH8578 on October 30, 2011, 12:43:36 AM
Quote from: bodaccea on October 29, 2011, 07:19:09 PM
yes,  the main tips i can give you are as follows:

*foreplay is NOT two cans of lager and a bag of chips

*Nipples,  go easy in that area and remember you are
not trying to tune in radio Luxemburg!

*Don't wipe your nob on the curtains afterwards  :LOL:

even in my frustratingly virginous teens, i was always baffled at the "pointers" people would give me, "for when the time comes". "dont bite her pussy! they really dont like that!"
i mean, wtf...
why not throw in "dont punch her in the throat! dont shit on her while making out! dont try to lift her by her tits!"
wtf are people doing!?
  it was a sarcastic reply to zippo. i was joking.  i wouldn't really expect zippo to wipe his nob on the curtains. my manual on love is far too long to post here.  tis bigger than the Quran.
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Offline Squidusa

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #76 on: October 30, 2011, 06:16:05 PM »
Quote from: eris on October 29, 2011, 08:34:25 PM
you guys are even making ME blush :P

OMG.  :o :o :o :o


Quote from: ZEGH8578 on October 30, 2011, 12:43:36 AM
even in my frustratingly virginous teens, i was always baffled at the "pointers" people would give me, "for when the time comes". "dont bite her pussy! they really dont like that!"
i mean, wtf...
why not throw in "dont punch her in the throat! dont shit on her while making out! dont try to lift her by her tits!"
wtf are people doing!?


Some people might like to have their pussy bitten / be punched in the throat / be shit on / be lifted by their tits.  :orly:
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Quote from: The Member Formerly Known As Sophist on August 04, 2011, 11:39:39 AM
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

Quote from: bodaccea on November 13, 2011, 01:50:55 AM
nice is just something written on biscuits.  

Offline Adam

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #77 on: October 30, 2011, 06:41:42 PM »
maybe, but I'd advise most people don't try it out until they know for sure it's wanted :P

and I have met my perfect mate... ah, tara... :lovelove:
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Offline Squidusa

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #78 on: October 30, 2011, 06:59:36 PM »
If I had tits , I would love a guy to play the bongos on them.  :tickle: :boobs:  :vibrator:
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Quote from: The Member Formerly Known As Sophist on August 04, 2011, 11:39:39 AM
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

Quote from: bodaccea on November 13, 2011, 01:50:55 AM
nice is just something written on biscuits.  

Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #79 on: October 30, 2011, 07:07:34 PM »
Quote from: Vampire Squiddy From Hell on October 30, 2011, 06:59:36 PM
If I had tits , I would love a guy to play the bongos on them.  :tickle: :boobs:  :vibrator:
me too :zoinks:
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Binty

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #80 on: October 30, 2011, 07:12:16 PM »
The boy has a friend who's a drummer and he has his gf in his phone as "bum drum"  :P
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Offline Trigger 11

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #81 on: October 30, 2011, 07:30:29 PM »
I am a percussionist. Just sayin'!!!
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Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline ZEGH8578

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #82 on: October 30, 2011, 07:39:39 PM »
Quote from: Vampire Squiddy From Hell on October 30, 2011, 06:59:36 PM
If I had tits , I would love a guy to play the bongos on them.  :tickle: :boobs:  :vibrator:

ive said this often
but if i had tits, i would stay at home, fondling myself, indefinitely
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Offline El

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #83 on: October 31, 2011, 09:22:45 AM »
Quote from: ZEGH8578 on October 30, 2011, 07:39:39 PM
Quote from: Vampire Squiddy From Hell on October 30, 2011, 06:59:36 PM
If I had tits , I would love a guy to play the bongos on them.  :tickle: :boobs:  :vibrator:

ive said this often
but if i had tits, i would stay at home, fondling myself, indefinitely
And you'd have a whole lot of appeal to certain types of kinksters.
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Quote from: odeon on April 30, 2010, 01:35:57 AM
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
Quote from: Lit on November 02, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
Quote from: ProfessorFarnsworth on September 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Psychophant

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #84 on: October 31, 2011, 01:01:49 PM »
Quote from: bodaccea on October 29, 2011, 07:19:09 PM
yes,  the main tips i can give you are as follows:

*foreplay is NOT two cans of lager and a bag of chips

*Nipples,  go easy in that area and remember you are
not trying to tune in radio Luxemburg!

*Don't wipe your nob on the curtains afterwards  :LOL:

 :lol: :plus:
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