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Author Topic: Your perfect mate  (Read 2607 times)

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eris

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #45 on: October 27, 2011, 02:35:46 AM »
The perfect mate

personality : atheist , intelligent, CALM, honest, loyal, loving, funny, metalhead

life skills : independent, below middle class, can live alone and take care of everything that entails

physically :  :autism:

pale skin, black/dark hair, very skinny, intense eyes, loads of tattoos, androgynous, taller than me





I dont think I ask for that much.




EDIT: I left out one really really big requirement - they have to be  MALE !
« Last Edit: October 27, 2011, 03:04:34 AM by eris »
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Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #46 on: October 27, 2011, 05:57:29 AM »
My perfect mate

* taller than me,  but hey that is not difficult

* not too fussy if younger or older,  but obviously must still be able to get it up and not so young that he needs a map and sat nav.

* I like intelligent men,  somewhat geeky in a closet kind of way,  definitely more clever than i.

* Not too keen on pretty men, or perfect looking men.  Prefer a bit quirky
looking.  Like Rowan Atkinson. Or a bit rugged looking.

* I like men to be men.  Not too in touch with  feminine side.  Beer guzzling rather than expensive wine.  Someone who would be quick to dive under my car if it broke down and possibly look up my skirt!

* Must like dogs, oh and be kind to small naughty little boys.

* Money -  preferably some.  A little will be fine and a lot even better.

* Willing to remove spiders humanely,  no matter how small and no matter what time.

* A willingness to laugh at my jokes if they are funny or not would be highly advantageous.

* Sex  -  yes.  Will have to provide it.  Lots.  Adventurous.  Impetuous. Dominant and demanding.  Type that stops the car suddenly on the way home and rips off panties for some :o  ...dammit..i think you get the picture!
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Binty

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #47 on: October 27, 2011, 08:33:31 AM »
Perfect mates come in all shapes and sizes, I've found.

Kindness, intelligence and talent never fails in attracting me though.
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Offline Zippo

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #48 on: October 27, 2011, 08:59:49 PM »
Quote from: bodaccea on October 27, 2011, 05:57:29 AM


* not too fussy if younger or older,  but obviously must still be able to get it up and not so young that he needs a map and sat nav.



well im sorry boda. i dont meet that standard.... i know where things are but not how to work them :P
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                                                         Zippo, Shotgun Surgeon.
if theres bees in the trap im catching them, by the thorax and abdomen. and sanding there stingers down to a rough quill. then i dip em in ink and i scribble a bit, and if the wriggle than i tickle them until they hold still, let me say it again, in my land of pretend, i use bees as a mother fucking pen!

Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #49 on: October 28, 2011, 05:56:59 AM »
Quote from: Zippo. on October 27, 2011, 08:59:49 PM
Quote from: bodaccea on October 27, 2011, 05:57:29 AM


* not too fussy if younger or older,  but obviously must still be able to get it up and not so young that he needs a map and sat nav.



well im sorry boda. i dont meet that standard.... i know where things are but not how to work them :P
  Don't worry zippo,  for you are young,  i know men in their forties
who don't even know how stuff works.
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Offline Zippo

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #50 on: October 28, 2011, 11:50:49 PM »
Quote from: bodaccea on October 28, 2011, 05:56:59 AM
Quote from: Zippo. on October 27, 2011, 08:59:49 PM
Quote from: bodaccea on October 27, 2011, 05:57:29 AM


* not too fussy if younger or older,  but obviously must still be able to get it up and not so young that he needs a map and sat nav.



well im sorry boda. i dont meet that standard.... i know where things are but not how to work them :P
  Don't worry zippo,  for you are young,  i know men in their forties
who don't even know how stuff works.

well my knowledge is farly limated to rub the clit and dont have bad breath when you kiss her, and by the ammount of action ive got
  • its about all ill ever know, so thats likely a valid description of me in 20 years...
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                                                         Zippo, Shotgun Surgeon.
if theres bees in the trap im catching them, by the thorax and abdomen. and sanding there stingers down to a rough quill. then i dip em in ink and i scribble a bit, and if the wriggle than i tickle them until they hold still, let me say it again, in my land of pretend, i use bees as a mother fucking pen!

Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #51 on: October 29, 2011, 07:19:09 PM »
yes,  the main tips i can give you are as follows:

*foreplay is NOT two cans of lager and a bag of chips

*Nipples,  go easy in that area and remember you are
not trying to tune in radio Luxemburg!

*Don't wipe your nob on the curtains afterwards  :LOL:
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Binty

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #52 on: October 29, 2011, 07:22:42 PM »
Quote from: bodaccea on October 29, 2011, 07:19:09 PM
*Don't wipe your nob on the curtains afterwards  :LOL:

Eew, who does that?  :thumbdn:
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Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #53 on: October 29, 2011, 07:31:19 PM »
It is rife here in the midlands  >:D
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Binty

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #54 on: October 29, 2011, 07:41:21 PM »
:aff:

I'm glad the South-Easterners are not as filthy as you lot.

Either wipe on a towel or I'll lick it clean  :thumbup:
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Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #55 on: October 29, 2011, 07:48:19 PM »
Quote from: Binty on October 29, 2011, 07:41:21 PM
:aff:

I'm glad the South-Easterners are not as filthy as you lot.

Either wipe on a towel or I'll lick it clean  :thumbup:
hmmm yay i like your style - no fuss, no mess, no waste! :LOL:
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Offline Trigger 11

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #56 on: October 29, 2011, 07:48:54 PM »
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

I am about to lose control and explode!
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Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #57 on: October 29, 2011, 07:53:40 PM »
 :needpics:
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Offline Trigger 11

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #58 on: October 29, 2011, 07:54:43 PM »
Soon enough!
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Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline bodie

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Re: Your perfect mate
« Reply #59 on: October 29, 2011, 07:58:47 PM »
 :jaded:  it's good to share!  don't keep it all in!
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