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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 140214 times)

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purposefulinsanity

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2006, 06:10:37 AM »
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purposefulinsanity

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2006, 06:11:20 AM »
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Offline McGiver

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #17 on: July 22, 2006, 10:56:13 AM »
funny. :laugh:   :laugh:
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Triste

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #18 on: July 22, 2006, 07:29:42 PM »
An American GI gets on a train in England.  The train is full, except there is one seat that is occupied by a big French poodle.  The American walks up to the lady sitting next to the poodle, and nicely asks her if he could please sit down.  She glares at him, says "No, my dog needs that seat", and looks out the window.  The GI looks around the train, still see no other available seats, and asks her again "Please ma'am, I've been fighting in the war and I'm on my way home and I'm really tired.  Could you move your dog so that I can sit?"  And she just humphs, and continues to look out the window.  So the GI opens the window, lifts up the poodle, and throws it out the window.

A Brit sitting across the aisle, who has been observing the interaction, speaks up.  He says to the GI:  "You Americans, you've got it all wrong.  You drive on the wrong side of the road, you cut up your meat with the wrong hand, and...

...you threw the wrong bitch off the train!"
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hiroshima

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2006, 02:02:20 PM »
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Offline Lucifer

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2006, 02:36:24 PM »
damn - i've got a great one with my bestest cat holding a packet of three - sadly, i haven't got a scanner... :(
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Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #21 on: July 24, 2006, 02:37:08 PM »
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Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #22 on: July 24, 2006, 03:08:46 PM »
A Cat's Diary

DAY 752 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 -- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 -- Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep deprivation, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 -- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm...must try this with one of their other captives...

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

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Offline McGiver

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #23 on: July 24, 2006, 03:55:45 PM »
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purposefulinsanity

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #24 on: September 29, 2006, 08:40:27 AM »
An old thread I know, but I keep seeing funny stuff and thinking I should post that on Intensity- I forgot about this thread till today.

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Offline McGiver

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #25 on: September 29, 2006, 10:12:35 AM »
 :laugh:
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Offline McGiver

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #26 on: September 29, 2006, 10:21:51 AM »
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Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #27 on: September 29, 2006, 12:05:18 PM »
Quote from: purposefulinsanity on September 29, 2006, 08:40:27 AM
An old thread I know, but I keep seeing funny stuff and thinking I should post that on Intensity- I forgot about this thread till today.



PMSL

It reminds me, when we first suspected I was pregnant with our daughter, it was about midnight and I said I would get a pregnancy test from the doctor first thing the next morning.  My husband wanted to know right then, so we went to an all-night drugstore and bought a pregnancy test.  There was a woman there with her sister also buying a pregnancy test at the same time.  The woman said to us, "I'll tell you just like I told my sister.  Planned Parenthood."  For some reason, my husband and I found this extremely hilarious.  I mean I had recently undergone endometrosis surgery hoping to see if it would help me get pregnant and if I was pregnant, then we were absolutely thrilled about it, and she thought we should have gone to Planned Parenthood.

 :laugh:

When the test was positive, we walked and talked all night and picked out her name.  If she had been a boy, we had it narrowed down to two or three boy names that night, but we agreed on a girl's name right away.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #28 on: September 29, 2006, 12:07:12 PM »
Quote from: McJagger on September 29, 2006, 10:21:51 AM


Does that boy have his name in his underwear?   :P

 :laugh:
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purposefulinsanity

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #29 on: September 29, 2006, 12:13:45 PM »
Quote from: Callaway on September 29, 2006, 12:07:12 PM

Does that boy have his name in his underwear?   :P

 :laugh:

I never noticed that at first  :laugh:
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