Some one liners:
Three rights make a left.
Ban shampoo, demand real poo.
"What we see depends mainly on what we look for." -John Lubbock
"All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power." - Ashleigh Brilliant
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.
Frogs have it easy. They can eat what bugs them.
BE ALERT! ...The world needs more lerts.
Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them.
Me, Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
"If the shoe fits, buy it." -Imelda Marcos
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
It's not so bad being senile; you get to meet many more people.
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."-- Jeff Bridges
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster!
My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.