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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 139845 times)

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Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3315 on: November 13, 2008, 06:08:16 PM »
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3316 on: November 13, 2008, 06:24:48 PM »
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Christopher McCandless

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3317 on: November 13, 2008, 07:11:12 PM »
Have a play kiddies:
www.superobamaworld.com

Offline odeon

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3318 on: November 14, 2008, 03:47:14 PM »
Kiddies, Hadron? Nice game, but I recognise it from somewhere...
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline enronh

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3319 on: November 15, 2008, 12:03:37 AM »

The pregnant lady
ACTUAL COURT DOCKET 12659 ---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
 
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,
 she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
 The case came up in court.
 
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
 The man replied,
'Well your Honour, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus,
I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
 ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling,'  and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,'
And I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honour,
when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,
 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it.'
 
'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Offline rocketturtle

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i like stuff

Offline Callaway

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Offline Tesla

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3322 on: November 15, 2008, 10:29:14 PM »
Satire, or not...  you decide.

"Get out of America, atheists!"
I came to this world with nothing
and I leave with nothing but love,
everything else is just borrowed.

Fuck it, we'll do it live.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3323 on: November 16, 2008, 11:22:24 AM »
Many many plusses.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3324 on: November 16, 2008, 07:45:53 PM »
Dr. Seuss Explains Computers:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot it and go out with a bang, 'cause as sure as I'm a poet, your system's gonna hang.

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, when you have to flash your memory and try to RAM your ROM, quickly turn off the computer and be sure to call your Mom!!
Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

Offline klox

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3325 on: November 17, 2008, 07:16:48 PM »
This is not particularly intellectual but it made me laugh:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1890189

Offline Pyraxis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3326 on: November 17, 2008, 08:10:19 PM »
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3327 on: November 18, 2008, 07:10:10 AM »
Dr. Seuss Explains Computers:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot it and go out with a bang, 'cause as sure as I'm a poet, your system's gonna hang.

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, when you have to flash your memory and try to RAM your ROM, quickly turn off the computer and be sure to call your Mom!!
:laugh:  :plus:
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3328 on: November 19, 2008, 11:54:09 PM »
Light bulb Jokes

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with multicoloured clocks.

How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, but they have released a leaflet called "coping with darkness"

How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
OR
None. Zen masters carry their own light
OR
Three. Two to fetch the wood and one to enlighten the novice.
OR EVEN
A tree in a Golden Forest

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to stand on a chair and change it and one to say "I wish I was up there !"

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the light bulb has to want to change.

A: One.
Q: How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb ?

How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle... ... and one to change the bulb.

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb?
one..no, two!..no, four!...no, eight!

How many voyeurs does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but they'd much rather watch someone else do it


How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He just puts it in the socket and the world revolves around him.

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

 
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Offline Phlexor

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #3329 on: November 20, 2008, 09:24:23 AM »
.