make someone laugh

[El]

Hey, for him, it's a legitimate concern.   

[GalileoAce]

I laughed.

[Trigger 11]

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears, with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up. What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…uphill…barefoot...BOTH ways…yadda, yadda, yadda! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice how easy the youth of today has it. I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but these kids today don't know how good they've got it!

When I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no e-mail!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! Then we had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3s! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and fuck it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like call waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent…you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances!

We didn't have any fancy Sony PlayStation with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 with games like Space Invaders and Asteroids. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like life!

We had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! We were screwed when it came to channel surfing and had to get off our asses and walk over to the TV to change the channel. And there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

We didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove. Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! These kids today have got it too easy. They're spoiled. They wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

[Callaway]

 :lol:

 

[Phlexor]

We didn't have any fancy Sony PlayStation with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 with games like Space Invaders and Asteroids. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like life!

Oh, and that's not the worst of it. OUR GAMES BACK THEN NEVER HAD CHEATS!!! Games these days have cheats built right into them, I had to clock Asteroids all on my own, WITH SKILL.

[Peter]

And we had to wait half an hour just for the game to load from the tape deck, and half the time it wouldn't load right, so we'd have to rewind and start over.  It was great when I switched from an Acorn Electron to a BBC Microcomputer; the BBC had a floppy disk drive and games loaded nearly instantly.

[GalileoAce]

*yawn*

Humans have always had tools to improve their lives in any which way. This is not a new thing.

[El]

When I first used AOL... it was on dial-up.  Kids these days have never had to avoid web pages they know are full of IMAGES.   

[Peter]

When I was on dial-up, my connection disconnected every 2 hours and had to be redialed.

[GalileoAce]

the last dial up connection I had lasted 24hrs.

I could dl 11gb per month on that connection....

[enronh]

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the
bird
section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take
four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage upb dere,' says Gerry. The
owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the
birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top
of
the  Connor  Pass.
At the  Connor  Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and
says,
'Dis looks like a grand place.' He takes two birds out of the box,
puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to
the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head
and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for
me!'


Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.

He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff
carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a  shotgun in the
other.

'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws
himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the
parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and
breaks every bone in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat
parrotshooting either!'


Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean
appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of
which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the
cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his
spine. Once more Paddy shakes his head.

'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping,
den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding.

[Trigger 11]

 

[renaeden]

I may have posted this one before...

Jenga Tower Tragedy.

[Trigger 11]

“I think they can take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn’t even care. I can’t imagine five years from now saying, ‘Damn…remember sesame seeds. What happened? All the buns are blank.’ They’re gonna have to change that McDonald’s song. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a…bun. How does the sesame seed stick to the bun? That’s fucking magical. There’s got to be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that or they’re adhesive on one side. Take the sesame seed out, remove the backing, and place it on the bun. Now your bun will look spectacular. What does a sesame seed grow into? I don’t know. We never give them the chance. What the fuck is a sesame? It’s a street. It’s a way to open shit.” -Mitch Hedberg

[Trigger 11]

"Hey man, I went to the Home Depot you know the other day, which was unnecessary. I need to go to the Apartment Depot, which is just a big warehouse with people standing around saying, ‘Hey, we ain’t gotta fix shit!’" -Mitch Hedberg