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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 139523 times)

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Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2805 on: July 14, 2008, 09:53:43 PM »


This is just about my favorite XKCD ever.
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Quote from: odeon on April 30, 2010, 01:35:57 AM
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
Quote from: Lit on November 02, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
Quote from: ProfessorFarnsworth on September 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2806 on: July 15, 2008, 05:37:36 AM »
.
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Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Parts

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2807 on: July 15, 2008, 05:55:45 AM »
Quote from: Peter on July 15, 2008, 05:37:36 AM
.

It's a Catholic approved condom :o
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"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2808 on: July 15, 2008, 06:36:29 AM »
Quote from: parts on July 15, 2008, 05:55:45 AM
Quote from: Peter on July 15, 2008, 05:37:36 AM
.
It's a Catholic approved condom :o
:laugh:
Chances are, it would happen anyway?
Quote
As many of you know, I had ambitions of finding a simple, uncomplicated part time job after retiring from my “day job”. Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Martgreeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day……

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’ The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’ So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am, I just couldn’t believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work…….


Quote
The Young Professor

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do *anything* to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully
into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...*anything*."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"*Anything*."

His voice softens. "*Anything*??"

"*Anything*."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...*study*?"
« Last Edit: July 15, 2008, 06:48:30 AM by renaeden »
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Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2809 on: July 15, 2008, 06:58:30 AM »
Good ones, Peter!   :laugh:
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Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2810 on: July 15, 2008, 07:42:27 AM »
Quote from: renaeden on July 15, 2008, 06:36:29 AM
Quote
The Young Professor

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do *anything* to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully
into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...*anything*."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"*Anything*."

His voice softens. "*Anything*??"

"*Anything*."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...*study*?"
OK, I'm totally retelling that the next time I think to- hopefully sometime today.
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Quote from: odeon on April 30, 2010, 01:35:57 AM
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
Quote from: Lit on November 02, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
Quote from: ProfessorFarnsworth on September 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Pyraxis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2811 on: July 15, 2008, 07:43:52 AM »
 :lol: renaeden.
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Quote from: Gopher Gary on October 11, 2015, 06:41:29 PM
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

GalileoAce

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2812 on: July 15, 2008, 07:46:49 AM »
But...would you?
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Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2813 on: July 15, 2008, 08:01:37 AM »
Quote from: GalileoAce on July 15, 2008, 07:46:49 AM
But...would you?

oh yes...

...god yes...
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Quote from: odeon on April 30, 2010, 01:35:57 AM
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
Quote from: Lit on November 02, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
Quote from: ProfessorFarnsworth on September 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Parts

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2814 on: July 15, 2008, 08:06:44 AM »
New at The  Home Despot

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"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2815 on: July 15, 2008, 08:07:04 AM »
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Quote from: odeon on April 30, 2010, 01:35:57 AM
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
Quote from: Lit on November 02, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
Quote from: ProfessorFarnsworth on September 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2816 on: July 15, 2008, 08:12:22 AM »
Conformation bias!

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Quote from: odeon on April 30, 2010, 01:35:57 AM
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
Quote from: Lit on November 02, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
Quote from: ProfessorFarnsworth on September 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Leto729

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2817 on: July 15, 2008, 08:51:37 AM »
Redneck humor.
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Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2818 on: July 15, 2008, 12:55:31 PM »
Quote from: Her Majesty, PMS Elle on July 14, 2008, 09:53:43 PM


This is just about my favorite XKCD ever.

 :lol:
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Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

thepeaguy

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2819 on: July 15, 2008, 01:20:22 PM »
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