make someone laugh

[GalileoAce]

Article in the local newspaper several weeks ago... Don't they have a copyeditor??



In the cat section of our local grocery store I saw this....

Funny...They don't look like Persian Cats...

[El]

Article in the local newspaper several weeks ago... Don't they have a copyeditor??

God save the children?

[Natalia Evans]

Woman parks her car.

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[DirtDawg]

Redneck scoot.

[DirtDawg]

Winnie Langley, lighting up on her birthday.

[ozymandias]

She Was So Blonde That...
 
  She thinks boycott is a male bed.
 
  She doesn't buy toothpaste because her teeth aren't loose.
 
  She took her new scarf back to the store  because it was too tight.
 
  She couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
 
  She can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.
 
  Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
  They're too hard to retrain.
 
  She got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years".
 
  She was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
 
  She couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
 
  What's the definition of eternity?
  4 blondes at a 4-way stop
 
  When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
 
  When asked what the capital of California was, she answered "C."
 
  It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
 
  She burnt her nose bobbing for French Fries.
 
  She baked a turkey for 5 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
 
  She can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of  water won't fit into those little packets.
 
  She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.
 
  She hates M&Ms because they are so hard to peel.
 
  She got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of  the tree.
 
  She changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "good up to 20 pounds."
 
  After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, she complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
 
  Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
 
  What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
  "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
 
  Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice for 20 minutes?

   Because it said "concentrate."
 
  What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
 
  What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
 
  What do you call a basement full of blondes?  A whine cellar.
 
  What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "OH, LOOK!! Donut seeds!!
                 

                            HAVE A GOOD DAY

[ozymandias]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked,'How does that feel'?
He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'

[ozymandias]

 

A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet.  As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

The sign says: 
'SEX FROGS'
     
 Only $20 each!
 Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, I'll TAKE one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, just follow the instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.   She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens!   The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.  She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, ‘If you have any problems or questions  ...  Please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store.  The man says, 'I'll be right over.'   Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.  The blonde welcomes him in and says, See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

The man . . .  Looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:

LISTEN TO ME!! 
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE MORE TIME...

 

[ozymandias]

www.StrangeCosmos.com

[El]

A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet.  As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

The sign says: 
'SEX FROGS'
     
 Only $20 each!
 Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, I'll TAKE one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, just follow the instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.   She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens!   The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.  She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, ‘If you have any problems or questions  ...  Please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store.  The man says, 'I'll be right over.'   Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.  The blonde welcomes him in and says, See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

The man . . .  Looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:

LISTEN TO ME!! 
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE MORE TIME...

* JLPMS Elle tries to remember if Calandale is or said that he ever was blonde.

[Dexter Morgan]

[Persona]

 :lol:

[Persona]

Manuel <3

[Alex179]

Celebrities are shameless.   

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sIQrBouWRiE

[Parts]

Just try and relax this might be a bit ....  uncomfortable