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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 139648 times)

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Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2010 on: January 20, 2008, 09:37:12 AM »







Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2011 on: January 20, 2008, 06:36:55 PM »

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2012 on: January 21, 2008, 05:39:28 PM »

Offline vodz

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2013 on: January 21, 2008, 10:13:15 PM »
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
 
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
 
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
 
So God agreed.
 
On the second day, God created the monkey and  said:
 
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll  give you a 20 year life span.'
 
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?'
 
And God agreed.
 
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
 
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.  For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.'
 
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
 
And God agreed again.
 
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
 
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years.'
 
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you  possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back, that makes 80, okay?'
 
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
 
So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.  For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family.  For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
 
Life has now been explained to you.
 
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.  I'm doing it as a public service
This brain could do with some more dimethyltryptamine.

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? "I don't know and I don't care."

Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2014 on: January 21, 2008, 10:14:42 PM »
 :laugh:

 :plus:

Offline Tristeza

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2015 on: January 21, 2008, 10:50:20 PM »
hats off to the man on top of the world
come crawl up here baby, and we can watch this damn thing turn

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2016 on: January 21, 2008, 11:01:40 PM »
^Have not played it, what is it?
Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2017 on: January 21, 2008, 11:30:50 PM »
Meh. nothing bad.

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2018 on: January 22, 2008, 08:02:04 AM »
Excerpts from the TOS on a religious forum.  Guess which religion.

Quote
7. Do not pick fights for no reason. Do not carry childish arguments in public. Settle it in the PMs. But no death threats.
...
11. We aren't at war with the West, stop talking about blowing up buildings and people in every other post. If you truly believe that we are in some perpetual war then why are you wasting time posting here?
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

GalileoAce

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2019 on: January 22, 2008, 08:38:46 AM »
Excerpts from the TOS on a religious forum.  Guess which religion.

Quote
7. Do not pick fights for no reason. Do not carry childish arguments in public. Settle it in the PMs. But no death threats.
...
11. We aren't at war with the West, stop talking about blowing up buildings and people in every other post. If you truly believe that we are in some perpetual war then why are you wasting time posting here?

The only religion that could have the perception of being in a war with the "West" is Islam.

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2020 on: January 22, 2008, 10:27:37 AM »
Shinto?

Offline Alex179

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2021 on: January 22, 2008, 10:45:44 AM »
Shinto?
Doesn't really exist after WW2.   Islam is of course the religion in question.
:P   Internets are super serious.

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2022 on: January 22, 2008, 12:24:34 PM »
Sobriety test

Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Tristeza

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2023 on: January 22, 2008, 02:07:15 PM »
Presenting...Calandale!   :zoinks:

hats off to the man on top of the world
come crawl up here baby, and we can watch this damn thing turn

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2024 on: January 22, 2008, 05:26:10 PM »
Epileptic shagger:

Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?