make someone laugh

[El]

Here's another (I found a couple of pages of them and am feeling especially sadistic):

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

in a groan-worthy way.  (sorry you'll have to get someone to ghey you I've been wanting to plus you for days).

I've been waiting to see how long before my karma reached a tipping point and stopped being "TIME FOR MARIJUANA!"  I think it may have gotten there.

[zer0]

Three strings walk up to a bar. They see a sign in the window that says: "WE DON'T SERVE STRING HERE!" , but choose to risk it anyway and see if they can't get a beer. So the first string walks into the bar.

"Hey there, I'd like a beer", he says to the bartender.

"Hey, get lost! Didn't you see the sign that says we don't serve string here?"

The first string walks out again. The second string walks into the bar.

"Hey there, I'd like a beer", he tells the bartender.

"Fuck off already! Can't you see we don't serve string here?"

So the second string walks out of the bar. The third string, who's a bit more clever, sees his two friends leave and hatches a cunning plot. So he ties himself into a loop. And then he musses himself up so that the cords he's made out of stands out in all directions. Then he walks into the bar.

"Hey there, I'd like a beer", he tells the bartender.

The bartender looks him over. "Hey... aren't you a string?", he asks.

"Nope", the string says, "I'm a frayed knot."

[El]

Does this actually kind of bother anyone else to look at and think about?

Edit  This was my 4444th post!!!!

[zer0]

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender puts the drink down on the bar in front of him. "Here", he says, "for you, no charge!"

[odeon]

Sorry, PMS, had to you.

[Calandale]

Ah, time to fix the travesty.

[Calandale]

http://www.vertigogaming.net/sog.htm

Neat little game. Sim earth lite.

[renaeden]

How do you start a jelly race?

Get set.

[rocketturtle]

Un petit d'un petit [1]
S'étonne aux Halles [2]
Un petit d'un petit
Ah! degrés te fallent [3]
Indolent qui ne sort cesse [4]
Indolent qui ne se mène [5]
Qu'importe un petit d'un petit
Tout Gai de Reguennes. [6]

[1] The inevitable result of a child marriage.
[2] The subject of this epigrammatic poem is obviously from the provinces, since a native Parisian would take this famous old market for granted.
[3] Since this personage bears no titles, we are led to believe that the poet writes of one of those unfortunate idiot-children than in olden days existed as a living skeleton in their family's closet. I am inclined to believe, however, that this is a fine piece of misdirection and that the poet is actualy writing of some famous political prisoner, or the illegitimate offspring of some noble house. The Man in the Iron Mask, perhaps?
[4,5] Another misdirection. Obviously it was not laziness that prevented this person's going out and taking himself places.
[6] He was obviously prevented from fulfilling his destiny, since his is compared to Gai de Reguennes. This was a young squire (to one of his uncles, a Gaillard of Normandy) who died at the tender age of twelve of a surfeit of Saracen arrows before the walls of Acre in 1191.

[zer0]

Two guys are sitting in a luxorious penthouse bar at the top of a skyscraper, getting wasted.

One of the guys is good-looking, really big and muscular with jet black hair and glasses. The other guy is a tiny little runt who can only just see over the bar. He's also got glasses, although he's so near-sighted he needs contacts just to be able to see through them.

The two guys are sitting in the bar, steadily getting drunker and drunker.

Finally, when they're very, very drunk, the big guy turns towards the little guy and says:

"Hey, you know what? We're really high up in the air here. The windsheer on altitudes this great is kinda funny. I'll bet you anything that if I went over to the window and jumped out of it, I wouldn't fall to my death and go 'splat' on the pavement. I'd slowly fall out of the window, make a little loop in mid-air and then sloooowly fall back in again, unharmed."

"Bullshit", says the little guy, struggling to focus on the big guy. "I'll believe that when I see it!"

So the big guy goes over to the window and opens it. He leaps out of the window, but doesn't fall to his death and go 'splat' on the pavement. Instead, he slowly falls out of the window, makes a little loop in mid-air and then sloooowly falls back in again, unharmed. He closes the window back up and flashes a triumphant grin at the little guy.

"Well I'll be a sonofabitch", the little guy says. "I gotta try that myself!"

So the little guy also goes over to the window and opens it. He leaps out of the window and immediately falls to his death and goes 'splat' on the pavement.

The big guy watches him go while chuckling to himself. Then he closes the window back up, smiles, and goes back to the bar to get another drink.

The bartender brings his drink over, and then leans over the bar and stares angrily at the big guy.

"You sure turn into one mean guy when you're drunk, Superman."

[Lurk Hurk Gurk]

Weekend Photoshoppery - Passed Out Guy.

A most "interesting" thread on KVR.

[GalileoAce]

Does this actually kind of bother anyone else to look at and think about?

Edit  This was my 4444th post!!!!

Eek! That would make me spit and curse for the better part of an hour if that happened to me whilst playing Tetris.

[zer0]

.

!

[El]

Does this actually kind of bother anyone else to look at and think about?

Edit  This was my 4444th post!!!!

Eek! That would make me spit and curse for the better part of an hour if that happened to me whilst playing Tetris.

I thought you would be the most likely person to see the horribleness of that pic.

[duncvis]

Does this actually kind of bother anyone else to look at and think about?

Edit  This was my 4444th post!!!!

Eek! That would make me spit and curse for the better part of an hour if that happened to me whilst playing Tetris.

I thought you would be the most likely person to see the horribleness of that pic.

I missed it the first time. I now have brainache.