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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 139460 times)

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Offline McGiver

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #735 on: April 27, 2007, 09:42:30 PM »
Misunderstood.

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #736 on: April 28, 2007, 06:48:43 PM »

MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
 

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add cha racter. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it    and to the men who will enjoy reading


ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #737 on: April 28, 2007, 06:58:14 PM »
An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that it wouldn't blow away in the wind.?

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.

I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat."?

"But madam, he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!"??


The woman looked down,then back up at the man and said,

"Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #738 on: April 29, 2007, 12:09:47 AM »
:laugh:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #739 on: April 29, 2007, 06:54:14 AM »
+
* PMS Elle realizes too late that that's meaningless.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #740 on: April 29, 2007, 06:56:55 AM »
+
* PMS Elle realizes too late that that's meaningless.

Oh cool. I'm going to do it all day then.

Actually, I read that one long long ago.
Probably in Playboy.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #741 on: April 29, 2007, 12:29:39 PM »
I have discovered what many of you already knew:  b3ta stuff is great.



it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #742 on: April 29, 2007, 12:39:16 PM »
I have too damn much free time.  Sorry.

But this is hilarious.

http://b3ta.com/features/phalliclogoawards/
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Scrapheap

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #743 on: April 29, 2007, 12:45:53 PM »
I have too damn much free time.  Sorry.

But this is hilarious.

http://b3ta.com/features/phalliclogoawards/

It's worth a chuckle, maybe I'm missing the good parts of the site.  :-\

duncvis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #744 on: April 29, 2007, 03:15:57 PM »
I love b3ta.  ;D

Try the 'name that beard' and 'spot the clifference' games.  :eyebrows:

Offline Lurk Hurk Gurk

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #745 on: May 02, 2007, 01:10:59 PM »
http://ildrag.at.infoseek.co.jp/syosa/syosa_vs_os_english.html

View at your own risk. Not safe for most company. Of the hentai-ish fanstuff I have seen, nothing else comes close to being quite as ridiculous and overbearingly nerdy. If you haven't already, make sure to read a bit about the OS-tans beforehand in order to be able to appreciate it fully.

Scrapheap

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #746 on: May 03, 2007, 12:00:03 AM »
NEWS RELEASE!!!! Rosie O'Donnel has died!!!










 







Her body was found,face down, in Ricky Lake....... :P ;) :laugh:

Offline Diesel

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #747 on: May 03, 2007, 04:43:25 AM »

True story from where I work:

The company I work for was bought out by the Japanese in 99...So naturally there are Japs running around all over the place here. Many don't speak or write the best engrish.....it very entertaining and frustrating all at the same time.

Anyway, one of them who works in customer service wrote an e-mail to one of our customers to respond to a problem/complaint.
What he meant to write was "We apologize for you inconvenience"
What was actually written and sent to the customer was "We apologize for you incontinence"


Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #748 on: May 03, 2007, 10:58:18 AM »

:LMAO:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #749 on: May 03, 2007, 03:07:25 PM »

Do you feel like working today?











Tomorrow?











 The day after?











  Next week?











Next Month?

















Me neither!








I just want to party!




 
 
 








They are supposed to be animated gif images, but I'm not seeing any movement. I'm hoping my browser cahe is corrupt. et me know if you see them, someone.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2007, 03:11:40 PM by Calamity Jane »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.