make someone laugh

[GalileoAce]

I don't get it...

[DirtDawg]

I don't get it...

I just meant that seeing your food  twice would be bad. ... like eating food with a round-trip ticket, it comes back the way it went.

[GalileoAce]

I meant I didn't get the original joke.

[DirtDawg]

Oh.

The sign makes a play on "salmonella".

[GalileoAce]

Ah!

Hehe, that's amusing.

[renaeden]

"Now serving Peter Pan"

[Callaway]

"Now serving Peter Pan"

Peter Pan Peanut Butter has been recalled recently in the U. S. because it had salmonella in it.

http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/NEWS/2007/NEW01563.html

FDA Warns Consumers Not to Eat Certain Jars of Peter Pan Peanut Butter and Great Value Peanut Butter

Product May be Contaminated With Salmonella

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is warning consumers not to eat certain jars of Peter Pan peanut butter or Great Value peanut butter due to risk of contamination with Salmonella Tennessee (a bacterium that causes foodborne illness).  The affected jars of Peter Pan and Great Value peanut butter have a product code located on the lid of the jar that begins with the number "2111."   Both the Peter Pan and Great Value brands are manufactured in a single facility in Georgia by ConAgra.  Great Value peanut butter made by other manufacturers is not affected.

If consumers have any of this Peter Pan or Great Value brand peanut butter in their home that has been purchased since May 2006, they should discard it.

Symptoms of foodborne illness caused by Salmonella include fever, diarrhea and abdominal cramps.  In persons with poor underlying health or weakened immune systems, Salmonella can invade the bloodstream and cause life-threatening infections.  Individuals who have recently eaten Peter Pan and Great Value brand peanut butter beginning with product code 2111 and have experienced any of these symptoms should contact their doctor or health care provider immediately.  Any such illnesses should be reported to state or local health authorities.

FDA's warning is based on a just-completed epidemiological study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the states and local health agencies, which links 288 cases of foodborne illness in 39 states to consumption of varying types of Peter Pan peanut butter.  This report was provided to FDA on February 13.

The outbreak appears to be ongoing and the first consumer may have become ill in August 2006.  The cause of foodborne illnesses can be difficult to identify.  As a result of extensive epidemiological testing and recent case control studies, CDC was recently able to identify Peter Pan peanut butter as the likely cause of illness.  Great Value brand peanut butter beginning with product code 2111 is manufactured in the same plant as Peter Pan peanut butter and, thus, is believed to be at similar risk of contamination.

ConAgra is recalling all Peter Pan and Great Value peanut butter beginning with product code 2111 that already was distributed.  The company also is destroying all affected products in their possession.  The company will cease production until the exact cause of contamination can be identified and eliminated.  ConAgra will advise consumers to destroy any Peter Pan and Great Value brand peanut butter beginning with product code 2111 in their possession.  To assist in this endeavor, FDA has sent investigators to ConAgra's processing plant in Sylvester, Georgia where the products are made to review records, collect product samples and conduct tests for Salmonella Tennessee.

FDA will provide regular updates as more information becomes available.

Consumers who have questions should contact ConAgra at 866-344-6970.

[renaeden]

That's a funny name for peanut butter.
 

[ozymandias]

Never choke in a restaurant down South!

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no.

"Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, Ya know, I'd heard of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seen nobody do it!"

[ozymandias]

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also    called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. 



The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. 



Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. 



Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. 

[Callaway]

Good ones, Ozymandias.



+

[DirtDawg]

I+Ozy.

[Nomaken]

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. 

BWEH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH....

[ozymandias]

FIVE MOST IMPORTANT MEN IN A WOMANS LIFE

1.  Doctor:  Take it all off

2.  Dentist:  Open wide

3.  Milk-man:  Do you want it in the front or back?

4.  Interior-decorator:  Don't worry, when it's in you will love it

5.  Banker:  Don't withdraw too soon or you will lose interest

[ozymandias]

A little prayer 

 Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hid the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work......12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, 5% on Friday.

And help me to remember....  When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to "BITE ME!".