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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 141264 times)

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duncvis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #585 on: February 26, 2007, 12:21:39 PM »
I keep finding myself behind one of this firm's vans lately, and it usually makes me snigger. :evillaugh:

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Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #586 on: February 26, 2007, 12:51:40 PM »
Quote from: duncvis on February 26, 2007, 12:21:39 PM
I keep finding myself behind one of this firm's vans lately, and it usually makes me snigger. :evillaugh:



Do you, yet, doubt destiny?

Console yourself with the fact that you have not smashed into the rearend of one of those vans.

:laugh:
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Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Nomaken

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #587 on: February 26, 2007, 09:42:15 PM »
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp08312004.shtml

There is a T shirt, but the graphical instructions are better in the comic, i think.
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And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #588 on: February 28, 2007, 03:45:40 PM »
The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this and the men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!


DANGEROUS What's for dinner?



BETTER Can I help you with dinner?



SAFEST Where would you like to go for dinner?



BEST Here, have some wine.




DANGEROUS Are you wearing that?



BETTER Wow, you sure look good in brown!



SAFEST WOW! Look at you!



BEST Here, have some wine




DANGEROUS What are you so worked up about?



BETTER Could we be overreacting?



SAFEST Here's my paycheck.



BEST Here, have some wine.




DANGEROUS Should you be eating that?



BETTER You know, there are a lot of apples left.



SAFEST Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?



BEST Here, have some wine.




DANGEROUS What did you DO all day?



BETTER I hope you didn't over-do it today.



SAFEST I've always loved you in that robe!



BEST Here, have some wine .




13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favoUrite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect


And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS


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Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Leto729

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #589 on: February 28, 2007, 04:30:09 PM »
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Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #590 on: February 28, 2007, 04:36:59 PM »
.
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Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Leto729

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #591 on: February 28, 2007, 05:07:47 PM »
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Offline Leto729

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #592 on: February 28, 2007, 05:54:43 PM »
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ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #593 on: February 28, 2007, 09:09:00 PM »
Once again, The Washington Post  has published the winning
submissions to  its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
 
The winners are:
 
 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
 
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
 gained.
 
3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
 stomach.
 
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
 
5.  Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
 
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
 absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
 
9.  Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
 are run over by a steamroller.
 
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
 
11.  Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
 
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
 proctologists.
 
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
 
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
 Yiddishisms.
 
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief
 that, when you die, your Soul flies up on the roof and gets stuck
 there.

16. Circumvent  (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn
 by Jewish men.






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
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Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #594 on: February 28, 2007, 09:13:09 PM »
:LMAO:

+
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Offline Leto729

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #595 on: February 28, 2007, 09:15:42 PM »
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Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #596 on: February 28, 2007, 09:54:07 PM »
The latest thing is Ozymandias' list.
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Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #597 on: March 01, 2007, 01:38:01 AM »
.
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Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

purposefulinsanity

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #598 on: March 01, 2007, 05:45:48 AM »
 :laugh: +1 to Ozy and Peter.
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Offline Diesel

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #599 on: March 02, 2007, 10:33:13 AM »
Oompa Loompa Airlines

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