make someone laugh

[odeon]

12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?

+

[Callaway]

12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?

+

There is a Senator named Ted Kennedy, who in 1969 drove a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne, who was a worker in his or his brother's campaign, home from a party at Martha's Vineyard.  He was drunk and drove the car off a bridge at Chappaquiddick, the car went into the water, Ted Kennedy got out and left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown.

[DirtDawg]

12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?

+

There is a Senator named Ted Kennedy, who in 1969 drove a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne, who was a worker in his or his brother's campaign, home from a party at Martha's Vineyard.  He was drunk and drove the car off a bridge at Chappaquiddick, the car went into the water, Ted Kennedy got out and left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown.

... and what happens to well connected, rich politicians who commit horrible crimes like this? How do we punish their heinous behavior?

They get re-elected to Congress year after year!

[ozymandias]

12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?

+

There is a Senator named Ted Kennedy, who in 1969 drove a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne, who was a worker in his or his brother's campaign, home from a party at Martha's Vineyard.  He was drunk and drove the car off a bridge at Chappaquiddick, the car went into the water, Ted Kennedy got out and left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown.

... and what happens to well connected, rich politicians who commit horrible crimes like this? How do we punish their heinous behavior?

They get re-elected to Congress year after year!

Can you picture anything more hideous than having to serve in Congress!  I sure as hell couldn't do it!

[odeon]

12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?

+

There is a Senator named Ted Kennedy, who in 1969 drove a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne, who was a worker in his or his brother's campaign, home from a party at Martha's Vineyard.  He was drunk and drove the car off a bridge at Chappaquiddick, the car went into the water, Ted Kennedy got out and left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown.

Oh, I know that, Callaway. Which is why the movie title "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" felt as an obvious choice for me.

[DirtDawg]

12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?

+

There is a Senator named Ted Kennedy, who in 1969 drove a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne, who was a worker in his or his brother's campaign, home from a party at Martha's Vineyard.  He was drunk and drove the car off a bridge at Chappaquiddick, the car went into the water, Ted Kennedy got out and left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown.

Oh, I know that, Callaway. Which is why the movie title "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" felt as an obvious choice for me.

I thought it was hilarious. Not sure if I +ed you or not. I probably owed you one anyway.

[Peter]

 GUIDE TO TRANSLATING "PERSONAL" ADVERTISEMENTS

Independent Thinker . . . . . . . Crazy.

High-Spirited . . . . . . . . . Crazy, hyperactive, and throws things.

Free-Spirited . . . . . . . . . Crazy and irresponsible.

Ample . . . . . . . . . . . . . Large.

Huggable . . . . . . . . . . . . Large.

Curvy build . . . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY Large.

Cuddly and Happy . . . . . . . . . Large and loudmouthed too

Slender . . . . . . . . . . . . Skinny.

Svelte . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anorexic.

Petite (I am). . . . . . . . . . Short.

Petite (you are) . . . . . . . . Size 10.

Dynamic . . . . . . . . . . . . Pushy.

Assertive . . . . . . . . . . . Pushy with a mean streak.

Excited About Life's Journey . . No concept of reality.

Moody . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive.



Unpredictable . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and off medication.

Soulful . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and quiet.

Poetic . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and boring.

Looking for Mr/Mrs Right. . . . . Looking for Mr/Mrs Rich.

Very Human . . . . . . . . . . . Quasimodo.

Uninhibited . . . . . . . . . . Lacking basic social skills.


Irreverent . . . . . . . . . . . Mean and lacking basic social skills.

Aging Child . . . . . . . . . . Self-centered adult.

Freedom-loving . . . . . . . . . Un-dependable.

Young at Heart . . . . . . . . . Over 40.

Youthful . . . . . . . . . . . . Over 50 and in major denial.

Chatty . . . . . . . . . . . . . Never shuts up.

Humorous . . . . . . . . . . . . Watches too much TV and never shuts up.

Financially secure (I am). . . . Has a job.

Financially secure (you are) . . Rich.

Affectionate . . . . . . . . . . Horny.

Romantic . . . . . . . . . . . . Horny.

Passionate . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY horny.

[ozymandias]

  +

[Peter]

[McGiver]

it's peaguy on the weakest link.

[Nomaken]

I didn't click it, but I know what it is, so  anyway.

[Peter]

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- They don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend.....but she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever......so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

[ozymandias]

+

[DirtDawg]

GUIDE TO TRANSLATING "PERSONAL" ADVERTISEMENTS

... but you left a few of them out.

I+You

Steven Wright has always been one of my favorites!
I've seen him do stand up, twice - ages ago, and I was immediately aware that he was way too weird, but now that I know a little more, I wonder if he's autistic.

[Leto729]

Here is one.