make someone laugh

[Peter]

.

[ozymandias]

Humor from my nursing days.........

"It has come to our attention from several emerency rooms that many EMS (staff) rarratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately.  Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe psychological care patients.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper".  Similarly,
descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome".

4)  HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms".

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted".

6)  Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants".

7)  The homelsss are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as "PVC Challenge".

 And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up, ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.

Questions will be directed to the author.  If you can find me to wake me up!"

[Nomaken]

I love the slang of various professions and crafts.  They always come up with clever shit.

[El]

Ozy- OMGWTFROFLLMAO+

[Callaway]

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.
 
A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled,

"Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... and squealed... "YES!  YES!  I WON!  I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

Moral ---

Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But, all men..... are men.

[The_P]

Knob-headed Jock has made me laugh with his brief return. Nuff said.

[El]

So, I am now in possession of a Mitsubishi Mirage (96 or 97, I forget which).  My old car, a 1993 dodge spirit, has been excorcized.  My dad drove it back from my house in Massachusetts to his home in Rhode Island last night.  I saw him today and (after driving the old car on the highways) said,  "I'm sorry."     He didn't realize how crappily it drove.

So anyway, I called the old car the OCD- the obsessive-compulsive dodge.  My new car's name?

Well, it's a Mitsubishi (once called diamond star motors), it's my fourth car, and it's what I use to ride in- it's "the ride."

So:

DSM-IV-TR

 

[Callaway]

 

[odeon]

+

[DirtDawg]

DSM-IV-TR

 

Good one and good luck with the "Itchybitchy". A neighbor has a "larger" Itchybitchy sedan (don't know the model) with over two hundred thousand miles on it and he still loves it.

[DirtDawg]

Very funny list of things to say when you are caught sleeping at work.


1. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
2. This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.
3. Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time.
4. I wasn't sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.
5. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.
6. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminating toward people who practice Yoga?"
7. [url]XXX://Kinky.software-download.110mb.com/direct-download.html[/url bollocks] Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.
8. The coffee machine is broken.
9. Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot.
10. It worked for Reagan, didn't it?
11. My Physician has recommended to me that I take a nap each day in order for me to be more productive at work
12. I had a long night on Intensity, trying to figure out which drugs to take next.

[Peter]

7. [url]XXX://Kinky.software-download.110mb.com/direct-download.html[/url bollocks]

 

[DirtDawg]

7. [url]XXX://Kinky.software-download.110mb.com/direct-download.html[/url bollocks]

 

Peter, look at it! It's fake, you aspie.

Some people lie for fun.

[Litigious]

Pete,

[DirtDawg]

Pete,

Grease it up, Peter.