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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 142009 times)

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Offline Tesla

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2625 on: June 04, 2008, 12:07:14 PM »
Scrub your stinky pussy.


Is that the guy who loves Britney Spears?
I came to this world with nothing
and I leave with nothing but love,
everything else is just borrowed.

Fuck it, we'll do it live.

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2626 on: June 04, 2008, 09:42:31 PM »
.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2008, 09:44:10 PM by Peter »
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2627 on: June 04, 2008, 09:50:21 PM »
Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
The first week after wasn't too bad.
The second week was getting sort of bad.
The third week was getting pretty bad.
The fourth week was really bad.
The fifth week was horrible!
By the sixth week it was unbearable...

So they buried her.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Lucifer

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2628 on: June 05, 2008, 01:50:54 AM »
.

Offline driftingblizzard

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2629 on: June 05, 2008, 08:51:11 AM »
http://www.elks590.org/main/cooltest.htm


Take the test to find out if you are a "cool person"....

Feeling neutral is very normal.

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2630 on: June 05, 2008, 02:59:27 PM »
.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2631 on: June 05, 2008, 04:13:12 PM »

 :plus:

I'm sharing the "KB" thing with my "fringe"  at work (Yes, these are people from my "fringe."  No, I can't really call them "friends,"  yet, but they seem as near the raveled edge as I am at times).

Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2632 on: June 06, 2008, 08:24:55 AM »
Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
The first week after wasn't too bad.
The second week was getting sort of bad.
The third week was getting pretty bad.
The fourth week was really bad.
The fifth week was horrible!
By the sixth week it was unbearable...

So they buried her.

:plus:  I haven't heard a new horrible joke in awhile- cna't wait to tell it and watch people cringe!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2633 on: June 06, 2008, 10:12:37 AM »

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time to consider how their online name might appear!
   
These are not made up. Check them out yourself!
 
 
1. 'Who Represents' is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com
 
2.. 'Experts Exchange' is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at:   
www.expertsexchange.com
 
3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than
' Pen Island '. It can be found at: 
www.penisland.net
 
4. Need a therapist? Try 'Therapist Finder' at: www.therapistfinder.com
   
5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company.. Check it out at:  www.powergenitalia.com
 
6.'IP computer' software, there's always: www.ip_anywhere.com
 
7. 'The First Cumming Methodist Church' Web site is:www.cummingfirst.com
 
8. And the designers at 'Speed of Art' await you at their wacky Web site:  www.speedofart.com

Have a fun day! Just be careful what you name YOUR new web site

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2634 on: June 07, 2008, 05:57:31 AM »
:laugh: :plus: to all above. I needed the laughs. Much happier now. :)
Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

Offline Lucifer

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2635 on: June 07, 2008, 10:20:43 AM »
:laugh: :plus: to all above. I needed the laughs. Much happier now. :)

:hug:

:-*

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2636 on: June 07, 2008, 05:55:46 PM »
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan
Jim
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2637 on: June 07, 2008, 07:16:16 PM »
PseudoDr.  (she does not have a "real" Phd, except in her ability to Pile It HIGH and DEEP), Shlessinger, has about as much credibility as any AM Radio talk show attention whore.  You or I could command a rapt and attentive audience if we had the ability to spout biblical or pseudo ethical crap that is oriented to the mentality of a two year old.

She has a large and loyal following of people who have the minds and intellects of jellyfish.  Unfortunately, there is a large percentage of the US population that is under that category of sub human intellect.  I believe that they are still stuck at the level of Lemur's on the primate evolutionary tree.  And I think I'm being complimentary on the estimation!   

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2638 on: June 07, 2008, 07:27:46 PM »
I've never heard of her before.  We don't get Dr Phil here either, though I've at least heard of him.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Parts

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #2639 on: June 07, 2008, 07:37:45 PM »
http://www.francesfarmersrevenge.com/stuff/laura/  More than you ever wanted to see of Dr laura :o
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw