My mother passed away when she wasn't much older than I am now. Bloody cancer. We were very close. I still miss her a lot.
Her only fault was her inability to recognise evil in others. An excess of innocence. A trait that skipped a generation and now my son has it.
Cancer got mine too. She was 60 I think. Cancer is fucking terrible. One of the things I hated about my ex is constant exposure to my daughter made my daughter lose her innocence. My daughter became too hard and icy too quickly.
My ex ran into a workmate of my mother 15 years ago and she happened to realise the relationship and mentioned that my Mother was the meanest woman she ever knew and how she hated me specifically. I was an odd kid but not something to hate I would not think. But it was a testimonial that was at least shared by me.
I will let you know something. I called you a Goofy Motherfucker. I think it akin to calling you a Goofy idiot or a Goofy fuckwit.
You got really upset and tried to make some really stupid case that it was actually some literal equation to you having relations with you mum. I thought it was stupid. I STILL think it is stupid BUT as a token of solidarity and goodwill for the upcoming year, I will retire that Goofy nickname.
I will even apologise to you for any actual upset you genuinely felt in relation to your Mum. She actually sounds like the best of women.
That said I STILL think you are an idiot almost on a par with that dropkick Odeon and competing hard with Icequeen. You will likely get another different nickname down the track.
Al, you regularly remind me that I'm a spazz, and this drives the point home.
I thought that my confected outrage at your use of the word "motherfucker" would be obvious. I was trying to mock your level of confected outrage. It obviously wasn't obvious at all. I am clueless.
And so the sentiment is genuinely appreciated. And please feel free to use the word "motherfucker" in relation to me, and I won't respond by suggesting that you might be from Tasmania or anything crass like that. Please don't hold back, it's no fun here if we are going to be respectful and nice to each other.
I'm quite happy that you consider me an idiot. Considering the people that you think are intelligent... it's perhaps the highest praise I could hope for.
Funny how the memories come back sometimes. Her funeral was 26 years ago. She wanted it to be a happy affair, she didn't want people to be sad. She lived interstate and I had flown up when I heard she was in a bad way and didn't look like recovering, it was a bloody awful last month and she was ready to go a long time before she finally did, and she joked that she wished she were a dog so they could give her a nice big needle and get it over with.
The church was full of people, most of whom I didn't know. My mother had asked one of her very close friends, who had won a karaoke competition and whom she loved hearing sing, at the end of the ceremony to sing the song he had won the karaoke competition with. He got up there and he tried but he kept breaking down and crying. And that set everybody off, people all over the church were sobbing and when we walked outside I saw all these people I didn't even know, with red puffy eyes and still wiping tears away.
Contrast that to my father's funeral the next year. There was just a small group of us at the chapel. The pastor got up the front and looked kind of embarrassed, he had obviously asked a few people (not including myself) about what sort of man he was. He got to the part where he was supposed to say a few nice things and he kind of stumbled over his words and said something like "Well, ah, **** wasn't a good man, he had an unhappy life, he destroyed all the relationships that should have been important to him and drove people away from him. I hope that in death he finds some peace and happiness in the next life". And I was shocked, not because it wasn't true, but because I'd never even heard of a priest or pastor saying something like that at a funeral.
