Why do you worry about nice people?
Because I often find it difficult to imagine why they would be nice to me. So I often assume they are either being nice to me at face value and in reality dislike me, or that they are simply being polite rather than truthful because they do not wish to hurt a person as disappointing as they find me to be. Alternatively, they may be nice to me because they think I am something I am not... and therefore I am bound to end up as a disappointment to them... and that is something I dread.
I recognise that I have difficulties with my self-esteem, and my son's social worker has given me options as to where I might seek help for this. Bearing this in mind, I appreciate that in some cases I may be mistaken... not to mention the fact my wife and children like me. The children can be explained by the fact that I am their parent, and a parent has to be quite a beast if their own children dislike them. I am a loving parent so, while they are so young, they are not likely to feel that I am a disappointment. I do not have an explaination as to why my wife likes me and has continued to for the 20 years of our marriage. The blindness of love surely cannot explain 20 years of duration. I do not understand it, but I trust my wife enough to believe her.
So, nice people to me are confusing and thus I worry about it. People who are nasty to me are not such a confusing thing, and so worry me much less, if at all. Nastiness does sting because it often affirms what I am... and that is admittedly uncomfortable... but they themselves do not worry me because I know where I stand with them.
Thus I worry about nice people because I often do not know whether to believe them at face value or not.
